Chantal Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 I'm thinking ahead again for when the pup goes and I'm having trouble with the let him sleep with me or not question. I've always enjoyed snuggling with the pets growing up, and haven't seen any problems caused by it, except for morning wake up calls when I should really be awake in the first place anyway. I just want to understand everything completely before I make this decision. I don't really understand the whole dominance issue of letting your dog sleep with you. If I allow him on the bed with an "up" or "sleep" command aren't I still in charge of the dog? I don't see how dominance and alpha dog issues would arise here. Wouldn't it be the same thing then if you allowed your dog on furniture while you take a nap? Or is it because the bed is the main place you sleep. Where do your dogs sleep and what do you think of sharing a bed? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaisingRiver Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 Mine sleep where they choose throughout the house. They are not allowed on carpeted surfaces (that includes bedrooms and formal room) per the husband's rule. But I would allow at least 1 dog on my bed if "I" were allowed Otherwise they would all sleep around my bed I'm sure. I don't see it as a dominance thing, but for some dogs it could be - but if your dog sees you as leader in everything else, I don't see it an issue. Consider dog hair in your bed or if your dog is dirty. I would probably train my dogs to only get on the bed with permission to avoid times when I wouldn't want them in the bed. Of course, with a new puppy aged dog, I would definitely crate train and keep crated until the dog was trustworthy in the house (usually around 6-9 months or longer). This would train my dog to be ok in a crate (always a good thing) also keep my house potty free until that's learned and my things not chewed up - also learned. At that point the dog would have earned sleeping with me on the bed - which does give access to at least the rest of the room. That's what I'd do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chantal Posted February 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 Of course, with a new puppy aged dog, I would definitely crate train and keep crated until the dog was trustworthy in the house (usually around 6-9 months or longer). This would train my dog to be ok in a crate (always a good thing) also keep my house potty free until that's learned and my things not chewed up - also learned. At that point the dog would have earned sleeping with me on the bed - which does give access to at least the rest of the room. agreed with this and it is the general plan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mbc1963 Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 I never let a dog on my bed. The dirt factor was too much for me. Then, one summer, Buddy was having thunderstorm issues. He would be calm if I let him lie next to me where I could keep a hand on him. It was a very stormy summer! So Buddy got used to jumping up with me. Gradually, I gave in and let him sleep with me. He lies down near my feet, and doesn't block much space. I keep an easy-to-wash fleece blanket over the bed so I can wash it frequently. I don't think it has caused any dominance issues. He'll hop off the bed when I tell him to. He only comes up when invited. I just think dogs are social animals who like to flop down with their pack members. Mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monicah Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 I don't invite my dogs to sleep on the bed with me but they are allowed to sleep on my bed if they want to. I once woke up and turned around and saw the back of Zimba's head on my pillow. It cracked me up, lol! My dogs usually sleep on the floor but sometimes they choose to sleep on my bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
esox Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 Alex sleeps with me. She has her side of the bed and I have mine. She has even commandeered a pillow. We have a routine. She sleeps without her collar on so I tell her it's time to get naked and she hops up in bed, collar comes off. When I tell her bedtime she lays down, gets a treat, and off to sleep we go. Esox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shetlander Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 Where do your dogs sleep and what do you think of sharing a bed? My dogs sleep on my bed. They start as soon as they will stay on the bed all night and not go wandering off. The youngest was 7 weeks old, the oldest about 8 months. They do not need to be invited but they need to mind their manners and remember I am in charge of the bed, not them. Any growling, facing making, etc. at another dog gets them on the floor before they know what happened. Thinking they get to tell me any part of the bed is theirs also gets them kicked off and isn't something that happens more than once or twice when they are young and foolish. I bathe my dogs regularly and brush them 3 times a week. I do need to wash my quilts more frequently but additional cleaning (vacuuming, dusting, washing the floor) is needed for all my house with 3 dogs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BustopherJones Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 Annie sleeps on the bed with me until DW comes to bed (I get up early in the morning to go to work, so she comes to bed later than I do); when DW arrives, Annie moves to the padded bed in her "den". As for sleeping during the day...Annie doesn't... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juliepoudrier Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 Some of mine sleep on the bed with me; some do not. The dirt factor is definitely a consideration. Those "rubbery" velour blankets you used to be able to get at WalMart were awesome at preventing dirt from going through to the bedspread and sheets below. My feeling on "dog dirt" is that if I am not having to wallow directly in it, it's not going to kill me. We come into contact with and ingest much worse stuff just in our daily lives (don't think about what might be in the prepared foods you buy!),so the whole "no dogs on the bed because they're dirty" just doesn't resonate with me. I live on a farm--dirt is a fact of life around here. When Lark was a tiny puppy, she started sleeping on the bed because I felt bad that she was crated while I was at work (she came to work with me and got out several times a day, but still most of her time was in a crate), we'd come home and she'd have a few hours out and then have to go in the crate at bedtime again. I have a tall antique bed she couldn't jump off of, so I just started letting her sleep on the bed. Now she thinks that beds really are where a dog should sleep. Anyway, she and a couple others will get on the bed with me--the rest settle themselves in various places around the bedroom, some even under the bed. As long as they settle down and are quiet and don't disturb my sleep, I really don't care what they do. My bedroom is the gated off "cat safe room" during the day, so they dogs don't get on the bed except at bed time. They do have a couple of couches and a day bed in my living room/TV area that they sleep on, and those are all covered with throws of one sort or another for easy cleaning. J. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dixie_Girl Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 When it was just Cheyenne, Sammy, and Jackson, they all slept on the bed! When I got Lucy and Missy they were not allowed on the bed as they were fosters, and that is a rule for fosters. (easier in case adopters don't want that) Then Skip came, Cheyenne got older, and Sammy died. Cheyenne stopped wanting to jump up on the bed, (we still on occasion lift her up if she acts like she really wants to) and Skip decided he was gonna take over the bed. We didn't realize he was intimidating Jackson to get off till it was too late. So, I started making Skip stay off the bed unless I asked him too. Now when I go to bed, Jackson gets on the bed right away, and we have our ritual "love fest"! Then, he invariably jumps down to sleep on DH side of the bed, and I will let Skip get up. In the morning, when I wake up, 90% of the time, Jackson is in bed with me, and Skip is on the floor by my side of the bed! I have no idea what happens during the night! Holly sleeps on the floor in the room. Cheyenne sleeps everywhere. There is always an old quilt on the top of the bed, for some reason my dogs just refuse to wipe their feet before coming in, and they love to share! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bo Peep Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 Usher still sleeps in his crate at 2 1/2. He loves it. He goes to bed about 10 PM and I find him in his crate. If I take a nap, he's allowed on top on the covers. If he "senses" something is wrong with me and doesn't go in his crate, I let him be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
urge to herd Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 Neither one of my girls has ever liked sleeping on the bed with me. Buzz was my cuddle bug, though, and I had no problem with it. If I needed him to move, even if he was in a sound sleep, I'd just ask him to. Ruth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Root Beer Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 My dogs sleep where they want to. They are more than welcome on the bed - I like snuggling with them. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. This has been the arrangement for over 9 years and I have yet to find myself shut up in the house all day long while the dogs take the car and go out to work and provide a life for me. When that happens, I guess I'll reconsider dominance theory. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lewie'sMom Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 Alex sleeps with me. She has her side of the bed and I have mine. She has even commandeered a pillow. We have a routine. She sleeps without her collar on so I tell her it's time to get naked and she hops up in bed, collar comes off. When I tell her bedtime she lays down, gets a treat, and off to sleep we go. Esox Lewie sleeps crated in my bedroom. I decided a long time ago, pre-Lewie, that I do not like animals, of any kind, on my bed. I move around too much. He's quite comfortable in his crate and will even put himself to bed occasionally. I even sequester the cats to their own space so I have my downtime and privacy. My bed is my sanctuary and I enjoy luxury bedding and change it with all four seasons. Lewie "gets naked", too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Withzia Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 My dogs sleep where they want to. They are more than welcome on the bed - I like snuggling with them. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. This has been the arrangement for over 9 years and I have yet to find myself shut up in the house all day long while the dogs take the car and go out to work and provide a life for me. When that happens, I guess I'll reconsider dominance theory. What Root Beer said. Except for the over 9 years part. Zephyr chooses to sleep under a desk very near the bed. He used to sleep on the bed, but at some point he changed his mind. Six-month-old Zinny sleeps either on the bed or in her crate with the door closed, and she's had these choices for two or three months now since she got house-trained very early. If she settles down on the bed right away, that's where she sleeps. If she goes into her crate or seems to be indecisive, she's gonna be sleeping in the crate with the door closed, since I still want to have a sense of where she is at night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1sheepdoggal Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 All my collies sleep in crates, they prefer it. So do I as none of them appear to understand that the night is for sleeping if allowed to have free roam of the house, except for Lexy who sleeps quietly and all night long, (one of the pluses of an older dog Im sure ) on the floor in the master bath. The GSD and Std poodle sleep in my room, and can be quite the obstacle course in the middle of the night when trying to navigate in the dark to the bathroom. ( a not so plus of getting old) Both have opportunity to be on the bed, but prefer the floor. (at least till the DH leaves for work in the morning) During the day how ever, when they are all out in the house, the bed is a free for all and fair game to jump on and rough house on, or just snuggle down in and sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandra s. Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 I'm one of those horrible people who moved into a larger bed so that both dogs fit in it. Does that make them psycho killers? Not yet, but who knows? A propos psycho killers: I watch too many horror movies. And I really dislike dark corridors, even our own . Therefore I'm most comfy sleeping between my dogs and that suspicious dark door. As a result, they always walk over me when they change rooms at night - fine with me, as long as they're there . It's so much nicer with at least one dog snuggled up next to me, snuffling a little, contentedly. How can clean sheets be better than this? They would fly off if they snarked at each other, but they know that. At the moment, they're always detonating avalanches on the skiing mountain at night, and therefore Kyla snuggles up as tightly as she can next to my neck and shoulder (she hates loud bangs). A few years ago I wouldn't have been able to sleep like that, but by now it's no problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnLloydJones Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 Senneca has her soft crate at the foot of the bed and goes straight into it when I call her into the bedroom. She curls up and waits for me to come out of the bathroom and get into bed. Once the light is off she waits a few minutes and comes and flops on the floor on my side of the bed. She has no interest in coming up on the bed. When there's a thunderstorm and she is really anxious, she crawls under the bed so that she is curled up right under my head. In the day, she has her own futon in the front room, where she can nap, but still have complete overview of everything that is going on the house and outside in the street. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silhouettestable Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 Mine pretty much all sleep on, around or under my bed at this time of year. When it's hot some of them prefer the hallway or the cooler bathroom floor. Unless it's really hot I almost always have Lightning and Rain on the bed with me, sometimes in the morning Rain is sharing my pillow or DH's after he's gone to work. Sometimes Flurry likes to climb up and lay across the top of the pillows, up against the headboard. He only gets away with that if it's just me in bed, not DH. Storm prefers the bed when there are no people in it to disturb him, so he usually hops off when we get in. Flash is the same, he usually only sleeps on the bed when he doesn't have to share it with other dogs or people. Dru gets on it sometimes but doesn't yet get the chance to really sleep there since he's still crated at night (beside my bed) and if I'm away. Thunder is sometimes a bed dog but he seems to get hot easily and will often choose the floor, hallway or a couch in the living room. Noah doesn't get on the furniture so he sleeps beside the bed or in the hall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth77 Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 Meg sleeps on my bed. But when she wants to get up there is much nibbling of toes and genuine bed promenading !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizmo Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 The older dogs sleep wherever they choose. The two pups are either crated or on a bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chantal Posted February 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 This has been the arrangement for over 9 years and I have yet to find myself shut up in the house all day long while the dogs take the car and go out to work and provide a life for me. When that happens, I guess I'll reconsider dominance theory. Great to hear that I'm not the only one that thinks the bed issue/dominance doesn't cause trouble. I mean if your dog is well behaved he should be everywhere right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shetlander Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 Great to hear that I'm not the only one that thinks the bed issue/dominance doesn't cause trouble. I mean if your dog is well behaved he should be everywhere right? I'm sure some of the concern comes from seeing people who can't set boundaries and limits for their dogs in general. Resource guarding furniture is a pretty common concern. I'm always amazed when I see people on TV shows who are getting bit by their dogs who are "defending" their spot on the bed or won't allow their spouse into bed. And there are always the people who say things like "Don't sit there. That is Fang's chair." Or "If I try to get Muffy off the sofa, she growls and snaps at me." Some people think this is ok, I guess. I just had a discussion with a friend who commented she has a hard time getting out of my comfy chair because of her bad knee. So I asked why she always sat in that chair when she visited. Her response was "Your dogs don't like it when I sit on the sofa." I was flabbergasted by this. Even if the dogs don't like her on the sofa --- which I don't think is the case, not that I would care if it was --- my dogs do not get to dictate to humans where they can sit. Period. It took some convincing on my part but I think she will now sit on the sofa so she can avoid pain upon rising. And this is a person who has had dogs most of her life. I wish she had voiced this line of reasoning sooner. Jeez! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Root Beer Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 I'm sure some of the concern comes from seeing people who can't set boundaries and limits for their dogs in general. Resource guarding furniture is a pretty common concern. I'm always amazed when I see people on TV shows who are getting bit by their dogs who are "defending" their spot on the bed or won't allow their spouse into bed. And there are always the people who say things like "Don't sit there. That is Fang's chair." Or "If I try to get Muffy off the sofa, she growls and snaps at me." This is a very specific type of situation. If I had a dog like this, I very well might require the dog to remain on the floor - not to "dominate" the dog, but for the safety and well being of all members of the household. I would also do quite a bit of behavior work with the dog in hopes that the dog could someday enjoy free reign of the furniture like everyone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shetlander Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 This is a very specific type of situation. If I had a dog like this, I very well might require the dog to remain on the floor - not to "dominate" the dog, but for the safety of the household. I would also do quite a bit of behavior work with the dog in hopes that the dog could someday enjoy free reign of the furniture like everyone else. I do think some dogs are more prone to resource guarding than others, but a lot of it is because people don't realize what is happening and either think it's ok, make excuses or come down like a ton of brinks on the dog which, depending on the dog, can make the problem much worse. My dogs will sometimes try to tell each other they can't come up on a piece of furniture but that results in them losing the very furniture they were trying to control. So they don't do too much of that. As far as people, they all know people come first as far as who sits where and none of them would give any argument about being told to get off furniture. But trying to convince friends of this can be very hard! Dogs are so much easier to train than people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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