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I am so, so very sorry to hear this. I know you loved him very much and you tried so hard to help him. I hope there's some comfort in knowing that you gave him a wonderful life full of love when he was with you, and that you gave him the ultimate kindness in helping him pass gently. I can't imagine the heartbreak you must be feeling.

 

RIP, dear Trooper. There's no more pain.

 

roxanne

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Truly heartbreaking... young Trooper has been in my thoughts a lot, and I am just so sorry to hear this... thinking of the times he enjoyed with you (playing, camping etc.) when he wasn't feeling so badly. Such a love...

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I've been reading these boards for months, but I have never posted before. I wish my first post could say something more comforting, but all I can tell you is that I too have been following Trooper's story and had to take a deep breath before opening this thread. All I can say is that I am sending condolences and sympathy from another person who was rooting for you and Trooper from afar.

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I'm so sorry. I know you are broken hearted. I hope that in time your happy memories of him will help to buffer the grief and I hope that you find peace knowing you did everything you could for him and that the end was also a great act of love. Godspeed Trooper.

 

J.

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Oh, shoot. Now I'm crying. You all tried so hard. And even then sometimes you just can't save them.

I wanted so much for him to make it.

 

When I talked to my vet about this because I was worried about my Tommy's kidneys he told me that autoimmune can attack various organs. You just never know. We were lucky. Her kidneys are fine. But it could just as easily have been us.

 

Oh, crumb.

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Thank you all for the kind words. I still can't make it very long without breaking down, life just wasn't fair to him.

 

After he passed I asked the vet if she had any idea why he was so sick. She said she has a hunch that perhaps as a pup he got into something toxic, rat poison or something, that did systemic damage. He most certainly had more going on than just the autoimmune disease. He also may be an example of the Darwin effect. He had some genetic mutation that made him incompatible with living and reproducing.

 

He was just so lively, every part of my day reminds me of him. I take a shower and expect him to be at the door waiting to catch the stray drops. Or Keeper barks and I expect to hear him screaming at the other end of the house and come running so he wouldn't miss out on the fun. Or I turn on the hose to water flowers and expect him to bolt between my legs to get the water. I feed the cats and expect to have to yell at him for stalking them. His memory is everywhere. I know I'll enjoy that someday, but it's just breaking my heart right now.

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