Advice please, might have to give up my boy...

[kate40541]

We need to take a moment to give some thought to the woman he's moving in with. He's already shown that he will ignore advice, act on impulse, and when the going gets the slightest bit tough he'll bail at the first opportunity. Then after all this if the error of his ways is pointed out to him he will attempt to slough off the responsibility and pass the blame to someone who has only been trying to help him grow up. EEK!! Run girl, run as fast as you can and take your doggies with you! How soon after he moves in will her dogs become inconvenient??

 

Suzanne

[Eileen Stein]

THE ORIGINAL THREAD:

 

I've always been into border collies and I take owning a dog very very seriously. I've never owned one myself and I'm thinking of getting one when I return to Georgia from my summer home here in Aspen, Colorado. I've done a lot of research and I feel like I can give the dog the companionship and exercise it needs to be happy.

 

My questions are where should I look for a dog in the southeast around the Augusta, Georgia area? Anything I need to really consider before making the purchase?

 

[more than 60 thoughtful posts urging Rskillz to consider his unsettled stage of life, to get to know BCs before deciding, and to adopt an older dog from rescue if he decides to get a BC]

 

At this point, talking me out of getting BC is a moot strategy. I've convinced myself that I can do it, and that I want to do it. . . . I promise you all, it's not a overnight decision I'll regret. I'm ready to do all of the things I'll need to not only keep the dog active, but happy.

 

[more than 20 further cautionary posts]

 

Ok so,

 

I've taken in the overwhelming amount of helpful information from all of you and I've decided to jump headlong and neck-deep into getting BC puppy. Maybe in the future I'll look into a rescue dog but as of now I guess I'm just deadset on a puppy.

 

[two further posts of advice, one of which said, "Crate, crate, crate and crate. A crate can be a lifesaver for the pup and a furniture/clothing/shoe/carpet/etc saver for you."]

 

 

THE CURRENT THREAD:

 

I used to post here a lot before I got my BC. I picked him up in August and it's for the most part been great. He's a wonderful, loving dog whom I care about a lot.

 

BUT.

 

I travel a lot and I've just learned that I can't take him with me for the summers. Also, I'm getting serious with my partner who already has two very large dogs and Eko would really be a bit much if we moved in together. On top of that I have trouble controlling his chewing. He's destroyed a couch, cellphone, walls, etc etc etc. I've tried and tried to stop this behavior but I can't. I think he just needs a bigger yard and more free room to roam and more attention.

 

At this point what should I do? Are there any forums where I could possibly find a good owner for Eko? I love him to death, but I just don't think my situation in the right fit for him.

 

Wow. I'm a bit taken aback by how critical and malicious some of you are being. . . .

 

I came her for advice and encouragement, possibly some help. I got flamed. I know in this world people are selfish and dogs are perfect, but these replies beyond shocked me.

 

 

Question for Rskillz:

 

Why on earth are you shocked to learn that people are exasperated with you?

 

The amazing thing to me is that people were still willing to offer you advice, let alone offer help in placing your dog.

[Beth G]

We need to take a moment to give some thought to the woman he's moving in with. He's already shown that he will ignore advice, act on impulse, and when the going gets the slightest bit tough he'll bail at the first opportunity. Then after all this if the error of his ways is pointed out to him he will attempt to slough off the responsibility and pass the blame to someone who has only been trying to help him grow up. EEK!! Run girl, run as fast as you can and take your doggies with you! How soon after he moves in will her dogs become inconvenient??

 

Suzanne

 

 

Exactly. I'm too disgusted to write more. It wouldn't be heard anyways...

[ClickMeBC]

I ususally stay out of such threads in order to watch and learn and absorb for future reference and advice, but Eileen, your post has really(on top of all the other summarizing and wise replies) put into light how regrettably avoidable this whole situation could have been, had any of the advice of far more experienced and knowing BC owners been heeded and taken. Whether or not Rskillz intends to keep this dog, his immaturity floors me. It's astounding what reasonable adults will do - and I'm not referring just to the OP - in order to get what they want, and fail to think of what effects it will have on others involved. It's childish, really.

[sweet_ceana]

My only comment: Why would you expect anyone to believe you would take advice from the same people who's previous advice you took with a grain of salt? You're not here for advice, you're looking for a way to avoid feeling guilty.

[lrayburn]

Also, I have three dogs in a one bedroom apartment. Not ideal, but you know what? I know for a fact that my dogs get more exercise than most dogs with a yard. I have buff dogs. The size of the yard is nearly irrelevant--it's what you do with it! I have adopters all the time saying "but I have five acres..." so? Most of the time the dog goes out, runs around for about 10 minutes, poops and comes and waits by the door because he's bored.

 

Yep! I had three dogs and three cats in a one-room apartment (that was *before* we down-sized to the trailer!) and know that they got more structured exercise and training when I was there then they do now with a big fenced yard to run in during the day. It's about priorities.

 

Lisa

[SoloRiver]

I have three Border Collies, and up until a few weeks ago I had those three Border Collies in a studio apartment with no yard. I took them to the park for at least one good session of hard exercise per day and plenty of potty walks, and that did fine for all of them, including the puppy who is now seven months old.

 

We now have our very first yard (it's about time, as Solo has gone from age 16 months to 9 years without having a yard of his own). It actually takes more conscious effort to get them hard exercise now that we have a yard (although they get to go outside more often). When you HAVE to walk your dogs several times a day, it's a lot easier to keep going and take them different places since you're out anyway. Now I actually have to make conscious plans to take them specific places instead of it just being part of our routine. Not that I'm complaining, but having a yard is not the be-all and end-all of dog ownership.

 

It could be that Jett is just an easier puppy than Eko -- she's wonderfully relaxed in the house for the most part and practically housebroke herself -- but I haven't had any problems with her, really, even though she was raised from age seven weeks to seven months in the studio apartment. I used a crate and a baby gate to limit her options for mayhem when I couldn't supervise her directly, made sure she got lots and lots of structured interactions (when you live in 550 square feet, you have no choice BUT to have structured interactions with your dogs basically all the time!), learned her basic manners through those interactions, and took her out in the world as much as possible. She isn't a perfect puppy, but she's very easy to live with and in absolutely no danger of ending up homeless. I might add that I also brought all three dogs with me to a new relationship and that my fiance enjoys them almost as much as I do (OK, so no one loves Solo as much as I do... I can live with that... I love Solo to an extent that is probably pathological).

 

Rskillz could make it work if he made Eko a priority. Lots of us make it work with busy schedules, cramped living conditions, and multiple dogs. His current workaround (leaving the pup with his dad) makes it sound like he's trying, and hopefully he'll revisit and renew his commitment to his dog, but at the same time if being shuttled around is not best for Eko's welfare it might not be a bad idea to look into another placement for him and hopefully the lesson has finally been learned.

[esox]

My heart is breaking for poor Eko. I also feel bad for RSkillz because he will never know the joy of the bond between dog and master.

As I have mentioned before, I have had problems with Alex and her aggression. We work on them every day. There is nothing that would make me give up this dog. I can't imagine a day that I don't wake up to that furry face and that she doesn't greet me at the door.

HAVING A DOG IS A SERIOUS COMMITMENT. JUST LIKE MARRIAGE, HAVING A KID, OR MOVING IN WITH SOMEONE!

It's a life choice and believe me if you do your part you get tenfold back.

 

Esox

[Beth G]

Hear! Hear!

 

I know that I said, I wasn't going to say anything... but I will say however, that I raised two pups two weeks apart from puppyhood, 6wks and 8wks. Most everyone here was against it, since I was new to BC's. They advised me against it. But I did it anyhow.

 

 

It was tough at times, and yet so rewarding at others.

 

Housebreaking our female, Pepper took me a WHOLE year. Popcorn has several issues we are STILL working on. But though I often times wondered whether we were the right home for them both, we persevered and worked things out.

 

My husband and I are both disabled. We live in a cramped 2 bedroom duplex. We don't have alot of money. But we make it work because we are commited to our furry kids. And we put them first. Hell they eat better then we do. They get the best food. All natural. No grains. At least an hour of exercise a day. Plenty of cuddling. Free run of the house.

 

And they are perfect when left alone. A dog is only as trained as the time you take to teach him or her. It takes time, and effort and love to make a perfect companion. Dogs don't come trained. They bark, they howl, they mess in inappropraite places. They dig, they chew.

 

And that's just the way it is. It is up to you, what you make, out of your relationship with your dog.

[DixiesDad]

What part of Ga? We may have room here if he's close. I'd rather get this pup away from his home and into rescue then have him in misery due to not being wanted.

 

Karen

 

Journey, if this pup is near me I'll help get him to you.

[Beth G]

It would be wonderful to see him eventually get a good home. I hope one of you is able to get him and help him.

[Journey]

Thanks Mack! I haven't heard back and I sent a PM. I hope he can get here if it's best for the pup. I'll let you know if I hear anything.

[Dixie_Girl]

I'm pretty sure he said Augusta. If the pup is there, I too, sent a PM that I would get him. Haven't heard back yet either. I hope he responds to one of us. *sigh*

[jdarling]

According to his profile, he hasn't logged in since yesterday at 5:45 a.m. or so.

[Liz P]

Every time a youngish, single person writes about getting a dog, I want to scream, "NO! NO! NO!" The fact is that life changes greatly for most people between high school and full adulthood. Many of the changes that happen are devastating for a dog: moving out to go to college, roommate changes, housing problems, bad breakups, nasty exes, moving back in with parents, finding a new job, moving out of parents' house, transferring cross country, long commutes, new loves, etc., etc..

 

When I start to give my realistic advice, there are always replies from great young dog owners who manage to make it work by staying in town to go to school, taking jobs that work with their dog schedule, arranging great day care, etc., etc.. I almost feel embarrassed by my cynicism when I read about how committed these young people are to the animals they love.

 

I am one of those crazy people. Three of the four BCs I own currently were added while I was a student (college, vet school). One I got in high school. I lived off campus in college so I could have my dogs and I go to great lengths to make sure they are happy and well cared for. However, I am very aware of how uncommon people such as myself are because I do work with rescue as much as time allows. While in college I saw many pets, mostly cats and dogs, adopted/purchased then dumped. The owners were taking advantage of their new found freedom to make their own choices (no more overbearing parents!) by getting the pet they always wanted. But then the reality of adult life and responsibility sets in and that pet isn't so fun anymore. I have thought a great deal about why this happens and I think that in many cases it has to do with the parents not asking their kids to be more responsible while growing up. People who care for their own pet while growing up seem less likely to dump the ones they get when they are young adults.

 

Either way I think it is sad what has happened. I just hope that Eko finds a new, truly devoted owner.

[AllieMackie]

From Eileen a page or two ago:

 

The amazing thing to me is that people were still willing to offer you advice, let alone offer help in placing your dog.

 

Just goes to show how much people here really care about border collies and that they go to homes where they can be properly worked. Thanks to those of you who have offered, because it's a really noble thing to do.

 

This is why I've been considering a border collie for nearly two years, and still am not planning on getting on for at least another half a year. I've dealt with border collies, and owned a BC mix. I know they're a handful, and I KNOW that they will eat up my time and attention, especially in the first year. I know that my dog will go bonkers without a job (or five) to do, and I need to plan, both financially and timewise, do be able to do that for my dog. I've been through it once when I was younger, and talking with some local BC owners has been a big help.

 

I guess I'm babbling, but it's because seeing a thread like this makes me thankful that I'm weighing my decision so carefully, and making sure that I go about it with a mixture of what I want combined with what I should be doing. If rskillz just wants a dog to exercise with him, there's tons of dogs that can keep up. Well-bred Siberian Huskies have mad endurance, but with less high-drive energy than a BC. Plus, they're gorgeous dogs that are only a bit larger than a BC. Why not a husky? Why not another high-endurance breed? Why get a dog that has the ethic to WORK, when you have NO intention of giving it any jobs to do?

 

I hope he comes back and decides to place Eko with one of you. :/

[jdarling]

Well, it's too bad that Rskillz didn't have the maturity or decency to even respond to my (or anyone else's) offer to help him out, despite that he has been logging in fairly regularly.

 

Bummer.

 

Rskillz, I wish you well, and hope you do right by your dog. Eko deserves a good life, despite your poor decisions.

 

Jodi