AK dog doc Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 Hi Gang About 2 weeks ago I put Buddy down. It was time. He'd started to slip in small ways for about a week. A few days prior to the event he lay down in the trail for the first time in his life. He'd get up again when asked, and go willingly (though without his usual springing grace), but I knew when I saw him lay down that we'd have at best a few more days together. The day he refused food I took home euthanasia solution from work. That afternoon he just didn't have any fire in his eye when he looked at me. I could've eked out a few more days, but he wouldn't have enjoyed them. I was pretty sure that if I waited even over night, I'd regret it. He wasn't in pain, but everything was getting to be SO much of an effort. So we went out on the back deck in the soft afternoon light. I laid him down on a big soft dog bed, and I helped him go. I miss him horribly, of course. There never was anything quite like Buds - strange, beautiful little dog that he was - and there never will be anything quite like him again. I was lucky to have him at all, and I'm SO glad for the years we had together. Anyway, sorry to have been incommunicado; I just wanted to spend as much time with him as I could, and since his death I've been needing some down-time. Still do need some, actually, so I'll apologise in advance if I'm unresponsive. But I wanted to thank everyone who sent good thoughts and prayers our way; Buddy went about twice as long as I thought he would, given his diagnosis. It was an agressive tumor type, one I'd expect to go about 30 days with medication; 60 days would've been optimistic, but he in fact went a bit longer than that, and had a GREAT time until the last few hours of it. Even then it wasn't suffering, it just wasn't a great time anymore. Anyway, we're all adjusting (Finn and Kenzie were thrown off stride as well, but they knew something was up before he died, so maybe they were primed for something to change; they've been very watchful of me lately). I have (perhaps fortunately, perhaps not) WAY too much to keep me busy right now - work, getting my house ready for incoming family reunion guests, general Alaksa summertime activities, etc. Oh, and I started Finn on sheep, because evidently I have lost my mind. At any rate, it's good to be busy, since it helps me keep my sense of humor and it reminds me of all the excellent ways Buddy improved my existance, and all the ways that he is still here, though his strange, elegant beauty and sultry glances are now only in my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise Wall Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 AK Doc, So sorry to hear of your loss. It sounds like Buddy had a great life. Denise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 AK Dog Doc, Wow, I had no idea that was the prognosis when he was diagnosed. I'm crying for you right now (and I'm at work!). Even though you deal with euthanasia on a much more regular basis than a lot of us, I'm sure you never get "used to it" and it has got to be oh so much harder when it's your own. I can't even IMAGINE how you feel right now. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers (and I don't say that lightly - I want to always pray when I say I will). Betsy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheri McDonald Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 All our thoughts are with you, Hil. Hang in there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jvw Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 AK Doc, I've been thinking about you and Buddy a lot lately. I read this at work and could barely speak on the phone I was so sad. Glad he is at peace now. Take care Jennifer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leahluvsherpups Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 I'm soo sorry AK. I'll bet he had the best life ever. Prayers are with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSnappy Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 Our condolences AK Dog Doc. We are so sorry for you. RDM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigD Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 So sorry to hear about this news...glad you could do it at home and in peace. My Buddy sends a big kiss your way, followed by a big head in your lap with some concerned eyes looking up at you.... Denise, Buddy and Marzipan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mistntag Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spike's Bitch Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 I'm so sorry - Buddy was a beautiful dog. Hugs and love from all three of us to all three of you. Liz, Spike & Max xxx P.S. Want to hear all about Finn and sheep when you're feeling up to it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK dog doc Posted June 24, 2004 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 Thanks, guys. Thank you so much. It's very comforting to have the kind words of friends. I don't know why it is, but knowing that that one small, offbeat, different little dog had a sort of international circle of pals (even if once removed)... well, it's peaceful, somehow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawna Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 So sorry to hear about Buddy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoloRiver Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 I am very, very sorry and am thinking about you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmetteabrakai Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 Well mere words can't express my condolences to you and your loss of Buddy . I am so sorry for the pain of losing him. I know you did the very best for Buddy. Isn't it amazing how one small furry animal can leave such a huge hole in our lives. I had a friend who's a vet here, ask me if my house was quiet after Emmette was gone. She knew that even though I have other dogs the house was silent with out him. May the silence in your home be filled with thoughts and memories of Buddy. Andrea D. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucy Goosey Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 I'm so sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
borderbob Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 doc, having just lost our dane stella, i know how heavy your heart is.i for one am proud of what you two did to brighten each others lives.it gives the rest of us a blueprint on how to love and care for our dogs in that special way that you and buddie did.thanks for being his"buddy". bob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deanna in OR Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 My tears are falling for you. I'll give my girls an extra hug tonight in honor of Buddy. Deanna in OR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KJ Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 Dear AK dog doc Your post was beautiful and while incredibly sad, I cry as I write, you were so kind and brave and showed the ultimate compassion. I will print out what you wrote about your moments on the deck with Buddy. They are powerful words and I thank you so much for sharing it. I can't describe what I felt as I read it and reread it. We had Leroy who we let go too long-mangiosarcoma-and at the end he suffered horribly for hours. It was a Sunday nite and no Dr. would come to our house. He couldn't be moved. It was the worst thing I've ever been through or have ever seen. I still get very depressed and angry with myself thinking of the whole ordeal. My husband and I were both cowards-cowards that loved this big lug tremendously. I apologize to him every time I pass his pictures. This Nov. 18 it will be 3 years. What you wrote I will reread...so I can become that calm, compassionate person when that decision needs to be made. So I can see past my own needs to that of my pet's life. Thanks Kim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK dog doc Posted June 24, 2004 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 Oh, you guys. Thank you so much. It really is a comfort knowing your thoughts are with me, as they were with Buds when he was ill. But more than that, it's both a comfort and an honor to know that Buddy is still with you, as well, in a sense; that he still can teach and touch people's hearts, even when he is gone. My fey boy. My little blue dog. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oreo's mom Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 Dear AK dog doc, So sorry to learn of Buddy's passing. What a blessing you were for him, to be able to do what was best for Buddy, even at such a painful cost for you. I pray that all our dogs have such compassionate, wise vets in their lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sea4th Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 AK Dog Doc, Know that there were a lot of great dogs to greet Buddy as he crossed. My heart aches for you, but for Buddy, well, he's in a great place now. Vicki Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
urge to herd Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 Dog Dog, I've been thinking of you and Buddy for the last several days, wondering how you were. Thanks for checking in - I'm so sorry to hear about Buddy, and so glad that he had someone like you to love him and do the very best for him. Thank you for sharing him with us. Ruth n the Border Trio Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK dog doc Posted June 24, 2004 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 Oh! You're right, Vicki, I didn't even think of that. What a lovely image. Buddy joining the Pack. At any rate, I'm glad I had him TO share with everyone. Thanks for being glad I did. He just had so much personality, in his own unique way; it's nice to know that that came across even over the internet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tassie Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 Doc, I?m so sorry to hear poor Buddy is gone in body. But our lovely dogs stay with us in our memories. You will always have your lovely blue boy with you. You have been so generous with your time and care and knowledge on these boards, and it?s hard that all we can do is share your sadness a little, and give our dogs a little special attention in Buddy?s memory. And I?m sure what you have written about making the decision will help those who find themselves in a similar situation. Thank you again for sharing your wisdom and your dogs. I?m so glad to hear you?ve started Finn on sheep. Like me, you didn?t heed the warnings about how addictive this is. I?m just about to do my 100 km each way drive for sheep practice. I have one lesson and one practice time a week, and it is just magical now to be working with my little bitch in such a special way. We both have a loooong way to go before we can even think of trialling ? but who cares, we are just sharing a really special bond. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mutt Posted June 24, 2004 Report Share Posted June 24, 2004 My prayers are with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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