Advice please, might have to give up my boy...

[Rskillz]

I used to post here a lot before I got my BC. I picked him up in August and it's for the most part been great. He's a wonderful, loving dog whom I care about a lot.

 

BUT.

 

I travel a lot and I've just learned that I can't take him with me for the summers. Also, I'm getting serious with my partner who already has two very large dogs and Eko would really be a bit much if we moved in together. On top of that I have trouble controlling his chewing. He's destroyed a couch, cellphone, walls, etc etc etc. I've tried and tried to stop this behavior but I can't. I think he just needs a bigger yard and more free room to roam and more attention.

 

At this point what should I do? Are there any forums where I could possibly find a good owner for Eko? I love him to death, but I just don't think my situation in the right fit for him.

[SincereArtisan]

Crate Train. Crate Train. Crate Train. It sounds to me like Eko is being allowed out from underneath your supervision far more often than is healthy for him or your sanity! A bigger yard will not stop him from getting into things he should not, it will only give him more space and opportunity to do so.

 

Research clicker training, learn it, and train your dog to respond to the clicker. Try creating a regular training schedule, one that encompasses a few 10 minute intervals of 'brain tricks' and/or learning new tricks. Integrate some early morning and evening walks, and try setting aside some time once a week to enroll in an obedience or agility class. Feed Eko from one of those food cubes. Give him good things to chew, like nylabones, rawhides, and either be in the same room with him or leash him to you to assure yourself he will not be anywhere he can get into mischief. When you simply cannot watch him, or you are gone--crate.

 

My dogs are crated 8-9 hours a day. We attempt to get out to the park for an hour or more of off-leash time fetching or a good long walk every day...if the weather does not agree, then they we work on a little training indoors. At least once a week, we have a class to go to, or I take them out for a long afternoon at the park.

 

If this partner you are serious with is serious too, then he/she should be able to understand you love your dog, as much as they love theirs, and be willing to help you work on your routine, especially if Eko is potentially going to be their dog too.

 

These are all the suggestions I have to offer. If I were closer, I would be happy and willing to help out...

[vanillalove]

I second everything that has always been said. If you follow and put some effort into the things already said, the only thing to still worry about would be your travels. Does your partner go away with you in the summer? If not, would he/she be willing to take care of Eko while you are away? If you're serious with this person, they should understand that Eko is a part of your life and if they want your life and theirs to come together, he/she needs to accept Eko. If they want to keep their dogs, shouldn't you be allowed to keep yours?

 

Aside from all that, don't give up on Eko! Look around for your options and if your ready to put in some effort, you may find yourself happy with the results!

[frenchy2999]

>, I'm getting serious with my partner who already has two very large dogs and Eko would really be a bit much if we moved in together

 

Hey why would Eko be the one that is too much and not one of the others? Bad attitude to have before moving in

 

I agree with the crating and if you do move in with your partner, Eko will most likely be less bored, anxious when you are away and be less destructive with brohers/sisters to play with and keep busy

 

Good luck

[herdcentral]

I love him to death, but I just don't think my situation in the right fit for him.

 

If you love him to death you and your partner will work hard to try and make it fit. Crate training, obedience training, mental and physical stimulation and all the things you knew a BC needed before you got him.

 

If you are going to welcome your partners dogs, can't Eko be welcomed as well and included in the arrangements you make for the other dogs when you are travelling.

 

I realise in some situations the unexpected can happen and dogs need to be rehomed but seriously dogs should be a lifetime decision along with the choice of breed you make. Would your partner be willing to give up his dogs? Is Eko going because he is young and reletively untrained?

 

Your business what you decide but think through the options and see if you can find away to make it work.

 

If not then at least follow him through and monitor his progress to make sure that he is happily rehomed and not likely to be passed on again.

[Maralynn]

Hmm, I'm not to sure what to say. Alot of these are issues that really should be dealt with before you get a dog, especially a Border Collie. When you chose a Border Collie, you chose to deal with the unique needs of the breed.

 

You can make it work, but you need to be honest with yourself as to if you are willing to put in the time and effort to make it work. You can give him more attention, you can spend more time training him, and you can crate him to help curb his chewing. As to moving in with someone else with dogs, why is it your dog that wouldn't be compatible?

 

None of those issues listed is really a good reason to rehome a dog. It wouldn't be reason enough for me to re-home a dog, only motivation to get my priorities straight so I could meet my dogs needs.

 

If you're sure that rehoming him is the only option, than maybe you can ask a local rescue group if you can list him on their website.

[MaryP]

Hmm, I'm not to sure what to say. Alot of these are issues that really should be dealt with before you get a dog, especially a Border Collie. When you chose a Border Collie, you chose to deal with the unique needs of the breed.

 

Ditto. I've heard this story so many times before. It is so frustrating to hear it again, especially when people on this board tried so hard to steer you away from purchasing a puppy as a first time bc owner.

 

And, this statement: "Also, I'm getting serious with my partner who already has two very large dogs and Eko would really be a bit much if we moved in together. "

 

When you got Eko, did you believe that you would not "get serious" with anyone for the next 12-15 years? Why is it when a person makes a life change, the dog suddenly can no longer be in the picture? Can't you (general you) think about these things BEFORE deciding to get a dog?

 

Personally, I think that these are all just excuses to get rid of your dog because he is more than you had bargained for and more than you are willing to deal with. If you truly cared about your dog and were committed to him, you would not be rehoming him simply because you were getting serious with your partner. It's a convenient excuse, though.

 

I say you should try to find a bc rescue in your area who is willing to take your dog and place him in an appropriate home.

[Pat W.]

How old is Eko? You say you picked him up in August, was that as a 8wk old pup or older? If as a baby then he is only 9mos old, definately a crate is in order. Also you say you cannot take him with you in summer, where is it that you are going that you cannot take him with you? Were you aware of this condition when you decided to get a dog? Also have you talked to your SO about moving in and what having 3 dogs in a home entails? You say that he has destroyed items when uncrated, do you have things that he CAN chew on? How much exercise does he get on a given day? Before you give up entirely on Eko and decide to kick him to the curb for a Boyfriend/Girlfriend you need to sit down and give it alot of thought. If you decide that Eko just cannot fit into your future situation then sadly rescue would be the best solution and there are a multitude of people that can help you here.

[juliepoudrier]

For MaryP and all the other rescue folk out there:

 

For anyone who's wondering about some of the responses here, here's the original thread where RSkillz talked about getting a border collie puppy and where a number of folks tried to talk him out of it:

http://www.bordercollie.org/boards/index.p...&hl=rskillz

 

RSkillz,

I think the best thing you can do for Eko is to give him up to a rescue. If the relatively minor issues of chewing and finding a romantic partner who also has dogs are enough to make you consider giving him up, then I expect that you weren't very committed in the first place. If you place him in rescue, then someone experienced with placing adolescent border collies will ensure that he gets his forever home the next time around. I think you got the puppy for you without much regard for the work it would entail. Now do the right thing for him. And consider long and hard before you decide you absolutely must have a border collie again. Also, did the breeder indicate any desire to have the pup back if you couldn't keep him? I think it would be courteous of you to contact the breeder and give him/her first option of taking Eko back before choosing the rescue route, but if you don't want to contact the breeder, then definitely talk to rescue. If you're still in Georgia, someone here can point you to a group that can help.

 

I'm sorry if we sound harsh, but as Mary and others noted, this is exactly the outcome we all feared when this discussion was started in January of last year.

 

J.

[KrisK]

^^what they said^^ and an additional SIGH....and a huge hug for all the rescue folks out there. Looks like another one is coming your way...

[Jack & Co.]

For MaryP and all the other rescue folk out there:

 

For anyone who's wondering about some of the responses here, here's the original thread where RSkillz talked about getting a border collie puppy and where a number of folks tried to talk him out of it:

http://www.bordercollie.org/boards/index.p...&hl=rskillz

 

J.

 

Sad, especially given how long folks tried to convince him not to get a puppy in the first place. Odin's Momma even had a cartoon that summed up BC puppies perfectly.

 

Edited to share the cartoon that Odin's Momma had in the original post last year:

 

 

[Lewie'sMom]

I deleted my original reply as I though it might be too harsh but you need to seriously think about this.

 

Before you adopted this pup you said:

 

I've always been into border collies and I take owning a dog very very seriously. I've never owned one myself and I'm thinking of getting one when I return to Georgia from my summer home here in Aspen, Colorado. I've done a lot of research and I feel like I can give the dog the companionship and exercise it needs to be happy.

 

My question to you is: what’s changed that now you don’t take owning a dog very, very seriously? Or were those just words trying to convince yourself that you were serious? If you were serious about owning a dog, not to mention a breed that is extremely intelligent and gets bored easily when not properly stimulated and will find his own form of entertainment, aside from (you having) a terminal illness I personally can’t understand how you can even for a second entertain the idea that you would give him up because he’s too much trouble.

 

Giving a dog proper exercise and stimulus can oftentimes be a labor of love but it’s NEVER not worth it. People in our lives come and go but Eko will be faithful to you to his last breath. The efforts you commit to him will be repaid to you 10-fold because he is a dog. Can you be positive that your new love interest will always be with you, till death? Eko will be, if you let him. If Eko were a human child this would not even be an issue (I hope!). You would do what you have to do to put his needs and best interests in front of your own. When you adopted Eko that in essence is what you promised him you would do, but now because of some inconvenience, you’re breaking your promise.

 

If you can’t commit to a creature as faithful and loyal and loving as this precious pup what other promises in your life are you going to break just as casually?

 

I know I’ve been hard on you but pet-ownership is serious business. These creatures are not disposable just because proper care gets too hard or too expensive. You need to get over yourself, step up to the plate and do what best for Eko.

[Krambambuli]

Read that other thread ... it's sad when someone is so set on getting a puppy only to realize a bit later that it's not a good fit .... Maybe his situation really did change as far as work is concerned, and maybe his girlfriend does not want the extra responsibility for a third dog, if he is gone a lot. We don't know that. At least he seems to want to find a better home for his dog. But I understand everyone's frustration.

 

Hope it works out for Eko in the end!!!

 

Andrea

[kelpiegirl]

I don't normally respond to posts like this. But, I have to this time. Clearly, the novelty has worn off with this pup. Have you contacted the breeder? Is he working bred? I would contact the breeder (yeah, tail between your legs, but this is your responsibility) first. They may be able to help. If the breeder can't help, contact a good rescue, and whatever you do, don't get another dog.

[MrSnappy]

I personally can’t understand how you can even for a second entertain the idea that you would give him up because he’s too much trouble.

 

You can't? Then you need to work with rescue for a while! Rskillz is the embodiment of every second person who dumps their dog in a rescue or a shelter. He is so typical it's actually mundane. And while you maybe never come closer to understanding it, no matter how long you work with rescue, you sure learn to spot them coming.

 

Just another innocent dog dumped by another useless owner. Nothing you say to him now is going to make him change his mind, just as nothing anyone said to him last year made him stop and think about his decision. And the only one who will suffer is his dog. Poor little guy. The sooner he hands his responsibility off to rescue the better, because it might be easier for the dog to be placed being younger - because the world is FULL of rskillz' who are too good for older rescue dogs that the other rskillz' of the world bought as puppies despite good advice to the contrary, and then dumped in rescue when they grew tired of the responsibility.

 

rskillz' of the world are EXACTLY what make the rescue world rock 'n' roll. I have zero sympathy for them.

 

RDM

[Lewie'sMom]

I've thought about working rescue but I know better. I have great respect for and am in awe of folks who work rescue. I don't have the kahunas to keep my mouth shut to the lazy, self-centered people who think a dog is too much trouble. Plus, I'm too wimpy to put myself on that emotional roller-coaster.

 

I used to embarrass the heck out of my ex because of my attitude toward people who wouldn’t spay and neuter, let their dogs run, didn't use heartworm preventative, etc,etc, and I usually didn't hesitate to tell them so.

 

Frankly, I want to shake rskillz and yell at him, “What the he!! are you thinking!?”

 

But, I did it nicely, sort of.

 

And I'm sure you're right. If rskillz hasn't learned responiblity by now, at the age of 26, he probably isn't going to.

 

edit: to correct "is going to" to "isn't going to"..duh

[PSmitty]

*sigh* I can't say much more than what's already been said, and agree with everyone else 100%. Rskillz, you have given no justifiable reasoning for giving up your puppy. The fact that you are even considering it (and face it, you've already decided, you're just looking for some hand-holding) tells me that he needs to be with someone who is commited to him, which you clearly are not. First, contact his breeder. You owe the breeder at least that much. Secondly, if the breeder doesn't take him back, at the very least find a good reputable rescue to take him in. They will see that he finds a suitable home.

 

So disappointing. Not surprising, but still disappointing.

[theshine]

What all have you tried so far to stop the chewing? If you are still interested in trying to make it work with Eko I can give you some suggestions. My BC is a hard core chewer and about the same age as yours it sounds like...it's a difficult age, I've lost many things to "the jaws", but I'm making some very good progress. If you let me know what you've tried I'll see if I have anything different that has worked for me.

 

As far as your partner's dogs....if it's your partner that doesn't want Eko moving in, that's not a good sign for the future, I'll tell you that.

 

Are you still in Georgia, or are you in Colorado now?

[MaryP]

Honestly, I've never quite understood the advice to contact the breeder to see if he/she wants the dog back. Maybe if the breeder is known to be a good breeder that only wants what is best for the dog, but in my experience, that is often not the case. Many "breeders" are only interested in selling the dog and will give it to the next person in line who is willing to pay their price. I know of a "breeder" here who will destroy a dog that is returned, if he doesn't feel that he can sell it again. And, he's supposedly a "working" breeder. Personally, I'd just as soon see the dog go to a rescue whose soul mission is to place dogs in appropriate homes and not to make a profit. The breeder that the OP got his dog from is breeding dogs for money. What do you think their motive will be, if the dog is returned?

[pammyd]

Looking at my wee guy on the floor beside me I cannot imagine how anyone can want to get rid of a dog because basically it is a bit inconvienet

He chews because you let him - your fault - lots of people her can give good advice to help with that

and I would say even if you are getting rid of him crate him just now - a chewer can really hurt themselves if left uncrated

In your last thread you talked about comming back from your summer home - so you knew you went away - you should have found out about the dog situation in BOTH your homes

again that is totaly your fault - not the poor dogs

good for you - getting together with a girl - let me tell you I would in no way commit to a guy who was willing to just dump his dog - If she has dogs she must be a dog lover

 

poor little guy - he dosent even sound like a difficult BC puppy

Selfish and thoughtless, but people are prob right that it might be best if he was given a chance of a real loving home

and you really think long and hard about EVER getting another dog again!

[PSmitty]

Honestly, I've never quite understood the advice to contact the breeder to see if he/she wants the dog back. Maybe if the breeder is known to be a good breeder that only wants what is best for the dog, but in my experience, that is often not the case. Many "breeders" are only interested in selling the dog and will give it to the next person in line who is willing to pay their price. I know of a "breeder" here who will destroy a dog that is returned, if he doesn't feel that he can sell it again. And, he's supposedly a "working" breeder. Personally, I'd just as soon see the dog go to a rescue whose soul mission is to place dogs in appropriate homes and not to make a profit. The breeder that the OP got his dog from is breeding dogs for money. What do you think their motive will be, if the dog is returned?

 

Oh, sorry. I don't seem to recall anything about the breeder, though? I'm know you're right, but I know that *some* breeders do take their dogs back, and in fact have it written into the contract that they are to be contacted first if the dog has to be rehomed. I see your point, but since I don't know who he ended up getting the puppy from, I thought the breeder *might* want to know. If it's the kind of "breeder" I'm now assuming it to be, of course I agree the pup would be better off in rescue. Hopefully he can find one with room.

[juliepoudrier]

Honestly, I've never quite understood the advice to contact the breeder to see if he/she wants the dog back. Maybe if the breeder is known to be a good breeder that only wants what is best for the dog, but in my experience, that is often not the case.

Mary,

We don't know who the breeder is, and perhaps it *is* a good breeder (not saying that's probable, but there are some good working dog breeders in Georgia, so it is possible). I understand your point that some (maybe many) bad breeders will just sell the dog again, or worse, but then there are also folks like me who would absolutely want to take the dog back and try to find a proper home for it. Since we don't know if the breeder is good or bad, I don't think advice to contact the breeder is always bad advice, although maybe it is in this case. Who knows?

 

J.

[Shetlander]

Instead of jumping on Rskillz for coming back here asking how to place his dog, let's do what we can to help the pup find the best home. If we chase him away, Eko is the one who loses. Also, he doesn't sound like he wants to work on training and managing Eko so any advice there, no matter how great, isn't going to help the dog.

 

I don't do rescue Rskillz but have you done an Internet search for a BC rescue near you? If I had to give up my dog, that is the route I would choose. Here is a rescue forum you might want to check out: BC Rescue Forum Where do you live? There is at least one other rescue forum -- I think. As I said, I don't rescue though I definitely plan on going that route for my next BC.

 

Now that it seems you are going to give up Eko, please keep looking for the best placement you can for him. I'm glad you're not just dropping him off at a shelter or listing him up on Pet Finder. Finding the right home or a good rescue will be the last gift you can give this dog who depends on you for a good quality of life. Please keep trying!!!!

[Journey]

What part of Ga? We may have room here if he's close. I'd rather get this pup away from his home and into rescue then have him in misery due to not being wanted.

 

Karen

[aljones]

All the replies for Rskillz and Eko that I thought of have already been stated, better than I could phrase them, so I'll just respond to this one point from Julie's post.

 

We don't know who the breeder is, and perhaps it *is* a good breeder (not saying that's probable, but there are some good working dog breeders in Georgia, so it is possible).

 

When Rskillz was selecting and picking up his puppy, he and I exchanged a few PMs, and he indicated that Eko was coming from a small breeder in the Memphis area that works his/her dogs. I don't have any idea who this individual is, but for whatever it's worth....