Question for people that have lost their heart dogs

[Bo Peep]

My heart dog was my first border collie, Miss Lacey. I loved all my others, but she was special. I don't know why. She was lousy at herding sheep, but when it was time to put them away (they'd go in their area anyway-so I let her "think" she was doing it) She did obedience, but never got any High in Trial ribbons. She liked agility until it came to the weave polls and then she wanted to stop. Did I show favoritism, oh yea. The others rode in the back under the canopy in the truck and she rode in the front with me. She would lay her arm on mine when I shifted and look into my eyes as saying "thanks mom". When she died, Migraine took her place in the front seat. It wasn't the same.

I now have Usher and Bailey and I love Usher dearly and Bailey, I only want the best for. Am I afraid to turn my heart over to another dog, only to go through so much pain after the loss or do you only have one heart dog in your lifetime?

[Shetlander]

It's only been 3 1/2 years since I lost my heart dog, but I'd wonder if it isn't extremely unlikely for many of us to ever get that close to more than one special dog . And in some ways, that is ok with me. It was horrible losing my guy and I still miss him like crazy. I just don't want to go through that misery again.

 

On the other hand, I'm ga ga about Quinn. He is the most fun dog I've had and makes me laugh every day. My other two are also wonderful dogs that I'm pretty crazy about. Since I can't have my heart dog back, I'm fine with the way things are now. Three great dogs that I enjoy and love -- that's a lot to be grateful for.

[BustopherJones]

I cannot speak for others, but as to myself, I have loved every dog I have ever owned (and I have owned many in my rather long lifetime). Every dog is dear to me, and each is special in its own way; but there is only one that I would have classified as my "heart dog". There is joy and love in every dog that shares our lives; but there is always that one that has a special place in our memories and hearts.

[Sue R]

I think it depends more on you than on the dog, perhaps. I've had the blessing and experience of several "heart dogs", each at a different time in my life. Lady, a Border Collie-type, who was my youthful companion; Arwen, a runty little Airedale who was my "young married" companion; and now Celt, a Border Collie and working dog, who touches me maybe even more than any other dog has ever done.

 

I guess what I am saying is that maybe some are blessed with only one, or can only feel that kind of bond with one. Others may be able to enjoy and experience that bond with different dogs throughout their life. I don't know.

 

Best wishes!

[Blue Wolf]

I lost my childhood heart dog when he was 4 years old. I was 16 at the time. It took me 6 years to bond closely with another dog. I do have a new heart dog now, but I still grieve for the original dog that stole my heart.

[Samantha J]

It will be 3yrs since we lost our Tammy at the end of this year. She was the first dog that my dh and i had as ours. He had dogs as a child and i had one at home that was a family dog. Tammy was just ours, she was a Yorkie and was a spoilt little thing really. She slept with us, went everywhere with us, i only had a few nights away from her in those 12years and they would have been when she was at the vets. She was special to us. She developed Diabetes when she was 6yrs and was very demanding after then. She was well managed with that but took a lot of care, maybe because she was small but everything revolved around her really for the next 6yrs. Things were planned around her, what we did, where we went, how long we were etc.

So when we lost her we were devastated, both of us. We sat there and both said that was it, we will never own another dog, too painful and we didn't want another, none could compare to her.

 

Then we started living and life was horrible, the house was so empty. After a few months we decided to get another dog..... so in came Holly. At first although i always loved Holly i used to look at her and think it is not the same. The love was not the same but gradually is got deeper and deeper. Then we got Zac....

 

Now when i think of Tammy, which is daily, i know that she was special and i loved her in a very special way and still miss her. With Holly and Zac i love them just as much as they too are special in their own ways.

 

So really i think now that Tammy is always going to be the special one but she is followed very closely with Holly and Zac. Maybe then really i now have three heart dogs.

[Lenajo]

I think if you open your heart and just let things develop naturally - yes, you can.

 

I've had 2 heart dogs - Lena and Joey (hence "lenajo"). I've had many other dogs I've loved too, but those 2 are special.

 

Lena died in early 2007, and I buried part of me with her. Fate's wheel turned with her help, and shortly before her untimely death I was provided with her successor - Rose. It was quite a strange turn of events, and it was as if doors just opened everywhere and the most wonderful puppy just dropped into my lap. Lena approved of her wholeheartedly, and she didn't care for puppies usually. Rose kept me going when Lena died of cancer. She is not Lena, but she is too..a heart dog.

 

Joey is almost 17 years of age, and through another weird series of events a puppy has arrived that is such a remarkable resemblence phsyically and temperamentally that it's uncanny. I did *not* pick Sassy out or even see her before she was sent to me - it was all on faith and a good friend from thousands of miles away who spotted this unwanted puppy and burned a path to the phone to tell me "she had my puppy!" This friend is not into "woo woo" but even she was awed by the turn of events. We tried to send pictures - they wouldn't go through - not by email, phone, nothing. Finally I said "ship her!" and we met for the first time face to face at the little local airport. It was like looking into the eyes of an old friend.

 

Joey adores Sassy, and she too is a dog that really does not care for puppies, which somewhat tells me the time is coming .

 

We are truly blessed to have such dogs in our lives.

[Laurelin]

It took me a long time to understand the term heart dog...

 

Now I fully do and I know that I've only had one. Luckily she's still with me though I really fear our time is short. This January we nearly lost her and I was affected in ways I cannot even begin to describe. Our relationship is so weird... but it needs no words.

 

She's the only dog I have picked out (the rest just kinda stumbled into our lives or were the only pup of their litter). I did a really horrible job of finding a good breeder, too. I found her at 5 weeks through a newspaper ad. I was nine years old at the time and we grew up together. But I did all the legwork, found the litter, we went there and I picked out a pup- the little runt female. The family that had the parents warned me and told me she was mean- they were right. Less than a mile away she had a name- Nikki. I have no idea where it came from but it suits her. She was feisty as can be. Three pounds of just plain attitude, lol!

 

She can barely walk these days due to arthritis. She's grumpy as all get out, too. But oh how I love her. As long as she's a happy girl, I'm willing to put in all the vet trips and money I can to keeping her around. We're just taking it day by day and for sure I am treasuring every last moment with her.

 

We're the best of friends.

 

But still, I've loved all my dogs equally and I put a lot of effort into the relationship (especially Trey). They are all very rewarding to have around.

[borderlicious]

I lost my childhood "heart dog" before I ever got a border collie. I dearly loved the dogs I acquired after she died, but I didn't feel that same level of understanding with any of them until I got Eve. She's been special from a very young age, for a number of reasons. She's my soulmate in dog form, and I don't know if I'll ever have this kind of connection with another dog.

 

I consider myself so lucky to have had two of these special dogs in my life, in such a short period of time.

[SoloRiver]

My first dog, Harley, was like an extension of me. We suited each other. When she died, too young, I was utterly devastated. Harley was a truly exceptional individual and I doubt I'll ever have another dog that exceptional. She was without flaw. She was my heart dog. I would have done absolutely anything for her, and I did. She taught me what a truly symbiotic relationship between human and dog could be like, and I will always miss her.

 

Solo is different. Harley would have been the same exceptional individual no matter where she was. Solo would not be what he is without me, nor would I be what I am without him. Solo is deeply flawed, but it doesn't matter. Solo is the great canine love of my life and my once in a lifetime dog. I love all of my dogs, but I am IN love with Solo. I do play favorites and bless their hearts, they don't really seem to care. Fly and Jett know what Solo is to me and they are OK with it -- maybe they would find it suffocating. Solo is the one thing in my life that is totally non-negotiable. If Jett and Fly had to go somewhere else, they and I would be OK. If Solo, or I, had to go somewhere else, neither one of us would be OK. I would be surprised if I ever have a relationship with another dog like this.

[vanillalove]

I have been wondering this a lot recently. Petey is still young at the age of 9, but I know his time will one day come. Even thinking about it now, well I'm trying to type/see through my tears.. Lately, I've been having a lot of dreams about him passing and I wake up with streaming tears and no breath. It leaves me broken for days, but he's always still there.

 

I don't know what is going to happen when the day comes and he isn't there, to let me know it was all just a dream. I will open my heart to another, , but it wouldn't surprise me if I never love this way again.

[herdcentral]

Yes I think it is possible. I have had 3 heart dogs all ACDS. 2 are gone and one is still with me. I also currently have a young BC and as our relationship grows I am sure she will grow to be as special too, but it is my older ACD who currently gets the front seat of the car!

 

I recently lost a young dog and I loved her a great deal as well. I have not had much experience with BCS as yet but ACDS bond so closely to their person that they have no eyes for anyone else and they become an extension of ones self. My first ACD was deaf and we became so attuned to each others body language that it became second nature and I often forgot that she was deaf. If I went away and left her with my mum she would become confused as she and mum couldnt read each others body language.

 

My lovely BC is a total social butterfly but is slowly becoming to think of herself as my dog!

[Bo Peep]

Melanie-

You nailed it right- When I purchased Miss Lacey from a totally irresponsible breeder, which I had to go back later and rescue her father, I called my only friend I knew that was a "dog person". I said "Is it possible to be "in love" with your dog?". She told me she had only felt that way about one of her dogs. I had never heard the word "heart dog" before. All of my dogs, from mutts to the best of breeding I have loved so much, but I have not been "in love" with. I think this is the true meaning of the heart dog. I don't know why it was Miss Lacey- like I mentioned, she didn't do anything well. Her skills were lacking in herding, obedience, but she put her best paw forward. She was a little bitchy, was angry at me when I had her spayed. She thought she deserved her place on the couch, but was careful to only get up when my ex went to bed. It was because of her, that I HAD to have another border collie and another and another......

When I got divorced, she was there. She AND the other dogs helped raise my kids play basketball, football, kickball, etc... I loved them all. When it was time to pick up her ashes, my youngest son had to do it for me. He was 25 at the time and had tears in his eyes. He was 8 years old when we got Miss Lacey. She must have been his heart dog too. He has never had a dog in his adult life.

[2 Devils]

I do think it depends. My heart dog and soul mate was Charlotte. She definitely had flaws some were her and some were acquired by no fault of her own. She had some health issues from shortly after we adopted her as a puppy. She was euthanized when she was just 4.5 yrs old. She had GI Tract lymphoma. Her and I had a special bond and we could both tell when the other was "off" and she knew when I just needed her to settle. She was a hellion as a puppy but even then she could settle if I was not feeling well. I was devastated when I heard she had cancer and that treatment could not help. She was a total lovebug with an awesome offswitch, would follow me everywhere and do anything I asked. Shortly after her diagnosis I heard about a borderjack litter and we had talked about getting one. We decided to go ahead and make the decision to get a borderjack. Riot was born the day Charlotte was diagnosed. He came home a month after we had Charlotte put down. From day 1 Riot acted very much like Charlotte. I can't help but compare the 2 of them all the time and they look nothing alike. They just act very similar even on the flyball lanes. They were/are both flyball machines and run for anyone. Off the lanes, total love bugs with an amazing offswitch. I am so in love with Riot and he is another heart dog but he won't be my soulmate like Charlotte was... I love all my dogs but there is something about Riot. He truly is a Riot and anyone who has met him will agree. My toy poodle is also a heart dog and is my Lil Man. His life revolves around me most of the time but when Riot wants to lay on the heated blanket I will move Aspen to accommodate Riot. Then there is Foster my acd. I love her dearly but the bond is not as strong as I would like. Then there is Tempe who is the sweetest thing but has her moments. Foster and Tempe are more my husband's dogs which is fine with me.

 

I do think you have to be willing to open the heart again to even have the chance to find the next special dog.

[herdcentral]

Sometimes a heart dog will emerge suddenly.

 

I was changing a tyre on a lonely country road when a man appeared from out of the bushes. He started to approach me. I asked him what he wanted and he didnt reply, just kept coming. I remember thinking I was in real trouble, when suddenly a blue streak appeared and placed herself 4 square about 5 feet in front of me. It was my very people friendly non- aggresisve ACD Sky who had squeezed out of a half open car window.

 

She was puffed up and a deep steady growl was issuing from her throat. I told the man that if he came any closer she would attack him. I guess he looked at me standing there with the wheel spanner and this crazy looking dog and dissappeared. I quickly finished off the tyre with Sky on guard and drove off. She wasnt a big dog either, about 17.5 " at the shoulder.

 

Well Sky lay with her paws and chin on my knee all the way home, something she had never done before and I felt a real love for this dog who would have died to protect me. Our relationship somehow changed from that day on, we both knew this. I had my second heart dog.

[vanillalove]

That is a frightening story! But Sky was such a hero, no wonder she made it into your heart.

 

I'm actually really afraid of how I'm going to cope when it's Petey's time. It shakes me to my core just thinking about it..

 

I want to go find my doggy

[Skyler]

There was a similar thread just recently that touched this subject.

 

There is no way, no how, not in this lifetime that I could ever replace my Skyler. I would have given up everything that I own (litterally) to have him for another 13 years. That dog wasnt a "heart dog"...he was my soul. I have never felt so much love in my life as I had with that doG. I still reach over to my nightstand every night and lay my hand on his beautiful wooden urn and say goodnight in my heart.

 

But what he taught me changed me so completely that I think I can have that "kind" of relationship with Koda and Zak. It takes us humans time to let go as we live in the past and future so often that the present often escapes us. Skyler brought me into the Now and let me know how to see it. The Now is where our dogs are and if we can meet them there I think we can have a relationship like that again.

 

Koda isnt Skyler but he has a heart of gold that he is willing to share. I see so many similarities between Koda and Sky that its frightening. But daily, as we allow each other to just be together, there is a deep love welling - especially the older he gets. Its not him, its me. Its that I realize to drop my expectations of him (aside from basic rules of obedience that are necessary) and in that I dont have resentment because I dont expect anything. Somewhere in that narrow realm exists this beautiful thing that is pure and endlessly deep. Somehow in this present we connect and it is this unspoken understanding that allows us to drop all gaurd see deep into each other. Thats where that relationship was with your "heart dog." They were just somehow able to bring you into that realm without you understanding what or how it happened.

 

You can call that nonsense or what you will, but when I can touch my dogs soul and he touches mine with that deep understanding that comes without boundaries, thats all the proof I need.

[G. Festerling]

I think there will always be the ones we think of for the rest of our lifes. My Sly was that to me. They come at a time of your life when they are needed the most. At the time I did not know that. She has taught me so much about tolerance, love and is still continuing to do so 3 years later. I am fortunate that I still/now have 3 dogs that carry her blood.

A while ago a situation came up (this was after she passed) that involved a Malinois with issues. I took her in. Everytime when I was about to give up I would look into her eyes and see my old gal. I know she was there as this dogs guardian angel. It was actually very weird if you want to know. Not like there was any resemblance at all! And with time and some guidance things worked out.

Sly's left some huge boots to fill around here and I have some that try their best and I love them just as much (just not nearly as long is how I always put it!) but all in a different way. So yes, to me, you can love more than one just as much. But it will always be different for each one.

[donna frankland (uk)]

i dont think i will ever find a different dog that will fill the gap left by tikki, but....

i DO believe in reincarnation, and my boy will come back to me i KNOW.

i will swear blind that molly came back to me in brighid, heck apart from being smooth they look nothing alike but everybody and i mean EVERYBODY calls her molly! they are one and the same dog.

now guz was my 1st dog, but i truly believe he was someone else's heart dog, a child i think. he had 6 homes before mine, and he was 3. his whole life i loved him like i couldnt describe and him me, but i swear a piece ofhis heart was with a child from a previous family, and that is where he will/has return/ed.

so forgive the hippy fluffy stuff but please do think about it... if you loved and lost and see those eyes again in the face of a new pup, are you really brave enough to pass that pup by?

i have a wait ahead of me i know, but when his paws touch this earth once more, i WILL find him.

 

dammit, i made myself cry again!

[Sassy Girl]

I just recently lost my first heart dog, Sassy, my beautiful black tri bc...It was one of the worst days of my life, one that I dreaded for years as I knew she would not go on her own. As much pain as it brought to my heart to lose her, I have to say I would not change a thing...every memory was worth the pain. She taught me so much, gave me so much and loved me so much that I couldn't imagine not having that again.

 

I have been lucky, Twiztid came into my life 3 1/2 yrs ago and became my left hand man, where Sassy was my right. He is my lil man and by my side he will stay. He also has taught me so much and shown me that no matter what is going on, he is there with me, for me and whatever the road leads us to, we will take it on together.

 

Can you have more than one heart dog - I think so, I think you have to be open for it to happen though...

[echoskybound]

Reading a lot of these posts here sorta makes me want to cry... :[

 

The first dog I ever had was a red Doberman who I never really bonded with, because he only listened to my dad, and he would beat my sister and I up when we were little, and trample and bite us while trying to "play." He's a gentle sweet old dog now, but he never completely clicked with me. I never really take him anywhere for runs or walks, because he won't listen to me and never will, I think.

 

My parents and I got our BC Rio three years ago, and he sat in my lap on the car ride home from the breeder, hiding his face in my arms. He cried, yelped, and panicked whenever I left the room. My parents wouldn't let him sleep upstairs with me, so sometimes I would sleep downstairs on the floor with him just to get him to go to sleep. Not he's full grown, and pretty poorly trained since I've been off to college, but he cries with happiness every time I come home, even though Rio never cries. I'm really not sure exactly why I adore him so much, but I already feel ashamed that three years of his life have gone by without me being able to spend enough time with him, and I pray that someday maybe my parents will realize that I love him more than anyone and maybe they'll let me have him.

 

One time when Rio was a puppy, my sister left an open bottle of seizure medication on a low table in his reach, and Rio was playing with the bottle and ate almost all the pills before we discovered him. When we took him to the vet, he couldn't even stand or walk, and the vet put him on the floor and little Rio tried as hard as he could to walk over to me but fell on his face, and I was crying and trying to hold him while the vet was telling me to let him go. I could have easily lost him that day, and I don't even want to think about what my life would be like now had he not made it.

[Rebecca, Irena Farm]

I don't expect I will and I don't want to. Some of what Ben and I have comes from the struggles we've both had with his health, and with my incompetence as a sheep handler. I have no desire to repeat that with any dog, though now what Ben and I have is very special.

 

I may call Ted my heart dog someday, but I'll mean something quite different from what it means with Ben.

[Root Beer]

I was thinking about this just yesterday. I was driving to Freestyle class with Speedy and we rode along together sharing companionable glances, I was thinking that he and I really do have something very unique and special.

 

I love Maddie. She is a fun Agility partner, and a very nice companion. Sammie is special because he was our first dog and he's such a "rock" in the group.

 

And Dean - well, words don't describe Dean. He is such a rare creature - very powerful, yet fun. Dean is new and exciting and so full of potential and possibility.

 

But with Speedy there is just something so "right" - an unspoken heart connection that I can't even really describe. Something that sets him apart from the rest. Aside from the fact that he is my heart dog and we are connected, I hold him in very high esteem - like one who is venerable. As much as I love my other dogs, I don't think of any of them that way.

 

Maybe, like Rebecca and Ben, it might stem partially from the struggles that Speedy and I have been through together. But I felt the heart connection since the day we brought him home when he was 2 and 1/2 months old, so that's definitely not all of it. I think, though, that the years of struggle have deepened the connection that we had at the beginning exponentially!

 

I think that many of my future dogs will be like him in a lot of ways, but none will ever be exactly the same. That was a big part of the reason why we adopted a new dog last year - so I could get to know the new dog and learn to appreciate him for himself without me being at the point where I was looking for "another Speedy." It was a good move. Dean is totally different, and it is good to be able to appreciate him for who he is.

 

I hope I can do that for all of my future dogs, but I know that when Speedy is no longer with me it will be very difficult not to be looking fruitlessly for his carbon copy.