O/T Continuing problems with Zeeke

[Jack & Co.]

However at this point I'm actually fearing for my marriage. Hubby and I are really at odds about this. We argue about Zeeke ALL the time, it's become a real nightmare.

Natalie, I glad to see you say something about how this is affecting your marriage. This has been nagging at me since I started reading your post and bobh had the same thought in his earlier post. Please, please, PLEASE don't have children until you get a handle on this communication issue. If hubby is being so hard-headed about his dog, things will not be any easier when you have differences about your child-rearing practices.

 

And, girlfriend, forget about being a "meek little shy wife" and put your foot down! I live in a houseful of testosterone and that's how I stay the BOSS, by being assertive ! Woe unto you if you have boys and you're meek and mild! You won't make it!

 

Hope this isn't harsh and it's JMHO, but I'm coming up on 22 years of marriage and I have 2 teenage sons who are 22 months apart in age so I feel qualified to pass my expertise along.

[sandra s.]

Originally posted by Lunar:

Agility has been tabled because a behaviorist is going to cost a bit, and unfortunately money is an issue right now. But yes, that is definitely something that could help us out with Zeeke. I haven't given up on that idea, just postponed it for a bit.

Would you feel confident enough to walk him? If your husband doesn't even walk him (which sort of made my jaw drop, considering how much he seems to love him!), then diversity is something that is lacking in his life, and if you could become the provider of that (and take the chance to show off your knowledge of the world outside), maybe that would help your relationship?

 

I'm the quiet, non-authoritive type too, but I've always been able to gain the respect of dogs I walked (even Timmy, bless him) by taking them outside and showing them how much more I knew about all the exciting but confusing stuff out there, and how I could find solutions when they couldn't. If I just stood in front of them and gave them commands without any past interactions, they'd laugh me out of the house .

 

I do realise this sort of thing is ever so much harder in a city setting, though...

[Anda]

I agree with Sandra, doing more stuff with him outside the house, like obedience or agility might make him see you as the leader and respect you more.

 

Ouzo does not like having his paws touched either, but we turned this querk of his in a fun game. If you try to touch his paws, he kinda snaps at you, not biting, but leting you know he doesn't like it. But if we keep pushing for it, he pulls his front legs under him, and if he is holding a tug toy in his mouth at the same time, he ends up falling on his face, since both his front legs are under him. He likes that and forgets about being agressive, but rather takes it as a game and wags his tail instead.

 

I know he doesn't like his front paws handled, so I do not insist on it. Except when he cut his paw back in May and then he had to suffer through it. Sometimes with my husband holding him so I can apply ointments or change his bandages.

 

I think Ouzo is very similar to Zeeke, and I know they like to play rough, but sometimes, if the play is getting too rough, what I do is distract his attention, like ask for a specific toy, and suddently something in his brain clicks and stops from barking and biting (playful, but as I said, sometimes he can easely get overboard with it), and he stops, listens to me and goes to pick up that specific toy. Or to look for rabbits, or squirells (regardless that we're in the bedroom, he still stops and looks for them if I tell him they're there ). Anyway, I distract him and suddently he calms down.

 

I don't see this as a problem, and when it comes to kids, to my big surprise, Ouzo seems to love them!

 

The other morning I was walking him (on a leash) and this lil' 4 year old girl, all dressed in pink (pricess ), going to school with her mom, shows up down the stairs, and Ouzo goes straight to her, and before I had a chance to pull him away, he gives her a kiss on her face.

 

I was terrified that her mom will chew my behind, but as I start walking away, I hear the lil' girl saying in a funny voice: "I think he likes me.......... "

 

That just made my day

[Lunar]

Jack & Co - We are absolutely working on the communication issues. I never want to make it seem like I am perfect or my marriage is perfect. It's not. We're still relative newlyweds (married 1 year) though we've been together for nearly 5. It is definitely a learning experience. We had a big talk about it (Zeeke and our communication issues) today and found some common ground and agreed to better listen to each other (because we're both guilty!) I also suggested couples councelling, but he really really dislikes psychologists. But I may push for that, seeing how this goes. I also don't want to make it seem like our marriage is a big mess! We really never argued before we got Zeeke. Had our little disagreements here and there, but nothing like it is over Zeeke. Honestly, while I know that we will argue and disagree over children, one of the main reasons Zeeke is such an issue because Zeeke is HIS dog, and I feel a lot of resentment that I get stuck dealing with him. Children wouldn't have that kind of baggage behind them. We don't fight over the cat, we don't fight over Zoe. We disagree, sure... but we work things out without too much trouble. We disagree a LOT on a lot of things - like what should be done with the house (you wouldn't believe the drawn-out discussion we had over the color of our window mouldings, lol!). But again - we come up with solutions without too much issue. We function well together, we laugh a LOT, we have fun, we set time aside for "us" time... Zeeke is just like that one recurring argument!

 

I'm still lacking in assertiveness a lot of the time, but let me tell you I am MILES ahead of where I was!! I was very socially inept... very unable to handle myself in social situations. And actually it was my husband who taught me to stand up for myself. And I am definitely doing that now. Even when it's a bad idea, like yelling back. I most certainly do not roll over and take it. LOL I run the household. Hubby (mainly) knows that. Just I guess with the dog I have problems exuding that dominant alpha feeling.

 

Sandra - He walks at a heel. Yeah, that's one thing he actually does. Unless he sees someone he knows or wants to greet, like when I take him to DH's office, then he drags me around a bit, but with the prong collar I feel very confident walking him. I probably should take both dogs for walks (Zoe's actually worse than Zeeke is at pulling!). And I know this is no excuse, but I HATE walking. I've tried to implement walking programs before, but after a week I really lose the motivation. (Sorta like going to the gym, which I'm also supposed to be doing a lot more than NEVER, heh.) I am the one who taught Zeeke to heel (during/after the one OB class we took with him, I was the one who took him out and practiced with him every night). I'm also the one who teaches him tricks and works on his down-stays and whatever. I guess that's why it's so frustrating that he STILL doesn't respect me fully. (Oh, and we're in the suburbs, not a city. We actually own an acre - half wooded and all unfenced, unfortunately.)

 

DH and I agree that I should take Zeeke to agility. So I think that will be our next stop after a behaviorist. Actually I think I'm going to be put Zoe's agility on hold. While it will help her out in the long run, I think Zeeke's issues warrant it more... we would all benefit from it more.

[Kyrasmom]

I wanted to give a slightly different angle. We also had a "problem child" in our family but it was the opposite, he is MY dog and would guard me from the other dogs and from my husband. Unbeknownst to either of us he was very severely hypothyroid so his extreme aggression, while now understandable, was very frightening because it was both unpredictable and surprisingly violent.

 

He bit my husband various times and a couple times I also got bit as I intervened but I have to say that my husband never gave up on him, even when he was hopping mad, and when I think about those days, I know I chose well. I was always very defensive of my dog because..well..I just was, he's the dog of my soul.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that even if you don't "love" Zeeke, it's very loving of you towards your husband to try and help. There are those dogs that we just unexplicably love despite some rather unlovable behaviors and when that dog happens to be yours, you're also more defensive and protective of him. So, in talking with your husband about Zeeke, that could be playing into it.

 

I know I never would have given up on mine, we're also planning on children and we had, I would surmise, some similar conversations to those you're having. Thankfully, after two years of hell, he was diagnosed and is now a happy and silly dog once again. When I think of what could have happened to him in different hands...I feel like crying and am reminded yet again, why breeding is so so so so delicate a process.

 

I hope your situation can also have a happy ending.

 

Maria

PS: my husband had a GS when we were dating who was a total handful up until he was 3 or so....by age 5 he was the perfect dog so they do mature!

[Jack & Co.]

Oh, Natalie, not once have you given the impression that your marriage is a mess! That first year of marriage is a KILLER for everybody!

 

Do try counseling and if he doesn't care for psychologists, I would try pastoral counseling. If you have a church affiliation and feel comfortable with your own minister, fine. But you can contact other ministers and arrange for a private consultation. It is helpful when there is a sympathetic pair of third-party ears hearing both sides.

 

You'll get all of this straightened out and everything will be sunny again!

[Lunar]

Kyrasmom - I absolutely think that is playing into it, which I think is why this one situation is so volatile for both of his. He honestly DOES love that dog. And I can understand that - I love my Oreo and my Zoe very very much and would have flipped out had anyone argued with me. I know hubby doesn't like Zoe all the time, but he puts up with her, for me. But I know that hubby's feelings towards Zeeke makes him very defensive about my opinions. It's because hubby feels so much towards that dog that even after being bit pretty badly I never suggested we get rid of him. I am VERY glad you discovered the problem with your dog! What a relief that must be. And yes, we are hoping that at SOME point Zeeke "matures", but he's about 3 and a half now and still not much change.

 

Oh, Natalie, not once have you given the impression that your marriage is a mess! That first year of marriage is a KILLER for everybody!

That's a relief. Sometimes people jump to conclusions when I mention us arguing over Zeeke.

 

We are unfortunately completely non-religious (athiests) so we don't have that as an option. However, I have decided that *I* am going to go to therapy/a psychologist. As I've mentioned on the forums before I deal with depression and this whole situation is weighing heavily on me and I think making it hard for me to sort things out with hubby since I'm just so upset over it all. Luckily I found out that our insurance will cover such things for depression, for which I'm very thankful! (I moved here from Canada, where you didn't have to think of those things! I went to a therapist in the beginning for a year or two.)

 

Since getting home hubby and I have really been talking and working hard on communicating both of our needs and fears and I feel immensely better already. Just having DH here to take some of the load off is huge. He agrees with me that Zeeke is a brat and we need to work on his behavior, even if he doesn't think he'll be aggressive towards children (and honestly, he may love children, I don't know). But just working on his behavior and getting him behaving properly around the house will be huge. Right now I need to crate him all day just so I can get work done, get housework done, take a shower, eat, whatever. (Until Hubby gets home from work, then he follows hubby around for most of the evening.)

 

For the first time in a week I'm feeling optimistic.

[Tammy525]

Please talk to someone about your marriage. I may be unusual, but I need to be #1 with my dh. I would certainly understand his feelings about a dog he loved so much, but if he was ok with me living in fear every day, I wouldn't feel loved like I expect to be.

 

There is no such thing as a dog who is 100% safe with children. But certainly, Zeeke's problem behaviors make it much much more likely that you will have problems with Zeeke and kids. How will Zeeke feel when dh loves his baby far more than he loves his dog? Will he feel protective and love the baby, too? Or will he feel usurped and do whatever he thinks is best to reclaim his position with your dh?

 

I would REALLY want to get marriage issues worked out before you ever consider children. The first year of marriage is very hard for anyone, that's why it is so helpful to be married a while before kids. Everything changes and if dh is so insensitive as to expect you to do all the work with bratty Zeeke, do you think it will be any different with kids? You may think you can handle it all on you own, but children are far more work and stress than you could possibly imagine!! You will need a caring partner who is on the same page as you regarding discipline, work-sharing, etc.

 

Dogs are GREAT practice for raising children. The same things that help make great dogs are the same things that help make great kids. Love, love, love, and solid limits. That takes an assertive mom and a dad who will do his share and support mom when she needs it. If he doesn't listen to you about a biting dog you are afraid of, do you really think he will listen when you are at your wit's end with a child? (and you will be over, and over, every mom has been there!!)

 

I am very impressed by how hard you have worked to love Zeeke. But I have been worried about you since the very first biting incident, and I did not understand your dh's reaction then, and I don't understand it now. I love my dogs very very much. They bring incredible joy to my life. But my first job is to love and protect my dh and kids.

 

Seek help. Don't stop seeking help until you find it. You must always weigh risk vs. benefit.

[Bordercentrics]

Natalie,

 

I wasn't going to jump in, as others have already expressed my thoughts for the most part. But I did pick up on your comment that you really don't like Zeeke. This is contrubuting to the problem, as he knows you don't like him. Any dog picks up on that. Try to see his good points and focus on those before you handle/work him. Act like you like him. He will probably respond to that. This isn't saying that it will solve all the problems you have, but it could help your relationship with Zeeke. I own a large, problem dog, and for a while I was getting very irritated with her and acted like I didn't like her. When my husband pointed this out to me, I made an effort to act like I liked her again, and lo and behold, she responded. Just a thought....

 

Kathy Robbins

[Lunar]

Tammy - DH has told me, point blank, that if it comes down to Zeeke or me, I win, no contest. He's been very clear with that. I just don't want to put him in that position, I have never asked it of him.

 

I will also point out that the first incident or two that occurred DH wasn't around at all, so he didn't know what had happened, he thought I might be overreacting to a little snap or something. One day he saw Zeeke snarl at me and he was SO MAD at Zeeke. Furious. He is really really not happy with Zeeke for acting the way he does with me. He's just a little bit confused on how to go about solving that problem - he thought I could fix it by getting stern with the dog. And right now his main argument is that he is not willing to give up on Zeeke yet. For that I'm a bit grateful, in a way. Frustrated too, but - he may not really understand what a dog like Zeeke requires in terms of care and training, but he does NOT view a dog as expendable. He's on board with the behaviorist idea. He wants us to work to fix Zeeke. My talking about re-homing Zeeke made him unhappy, though.

 

We ARE going to go to a dog behaviorist. We haven't chosen one yet, I'm waiting on another referal before we choose who to go see. Zeeke's issues will not be ignored. And I am certainly going to keep working with hubby on communication and solving this together.

[Lunar]

Kathy - That is such a good point. And I was thinking on that for a long while today. I think a LOT of our problems are because of that - and actually, a lot of DH and my problems revolving Zeeke as well, since DH knows how I feel as well, even if I don't say it outright. That definitely contributes to his defensiveness.

[Riley-dog]

Not even the sweetest most amicable mutt is ever 100% child safe. I know, I have the scars. Beau was a great dog. My babysitter for the first two years of my life, but when my little rocking chair went right over his tail he did what any animal would do, he snapped out in pain. Right across my face. 250 stitches. Layers upon layers of them because the wounds were all they way through my cheeks. All the way from the corner of my mouth to my temple and across my other cheek. Just a fraction deeper and my skull would have been punctured, or a little higher and my eye would be gone.

 

But I was lucky. I was young and I had a great, great surgeon. There is only a fine line now and no distortion. It was my grandmother's dog and she said to me once, "I would have blown my brains out that night if I'd had had a gun." My grandfather swung into a deep depression and feared that I'd be disfigured and blame and hate him for it.

 

I was 23 months old alone in the room with Beau and my 6 year old brother, but it could have happened just as fast if we were under adult supervision. My grandmother was 15' away in the kitchen.

 

People like to think "no, not my dog, he'd never bite!" but they can and they might. You have a responsibility first to protect your children. It doesn't mean you have to get rid of him, but you must be vigilant and responsible. If that means crating Zeeke when you can't supervise or until the little tyke learns to leave him alone and not touch paws and toys than so be it. It might mean never having them in contact, but it doesn't mean you can't do it. But Zeeke still needs exercise and stimulation, it'll mean a lot of committment from you and hubby. But if you don't have the time for both maybe it's better to consider finding another bachelor for Zeeke to call all his own.

 

Bottom line is that no behaviorist will be able to tell you that he will be 100% safe around children because NO DOG is EVER 100% child safe under freak situations.

[Lunar]

Lauren - Agreed. And right now we're looking at first working on his behaviors with a behaviorist, and when we have a baby probably crating him, maybe making a pen for him for when DH isn't home, and keeping him and the baby seperate except for very controlled situations. Right now that looks like where we're headed.

 

Hubby and I had a couple of very long heart-to-hearts yesterday. He finally seems to "get" it. We periodically was training with Zeeke yesterday. He is on board with the behaviorist idea. And he admitted to me that he's done a lot of things with Zeeke that he wishes he hadn't done, and hasn't done a lot of things that need to get done.

 

It's looking very promising. A frustratingly lot amount of work, but promising.

[RaisingRiver]

To concur what Kathy said about not liking Zeeke, similarily, I was afraid of a newly aquired horse because she knew I was not in control. Lunging her, she started griding her teeth at me one day, even slightly charged at me. I was afraid. (I'm a newbie horse person) Had my trainer come out and she put her through her paces. No problem. I was going to get rid of the horse, because I figured I couldn't do it. But one day I just decided, you know what? I'm in charge. I didn't have to do anything physically mean, I just changed my attitude. Basically telling myself the whole time, I'm not taking any crap from you! She grinded her teeth at first, but I told her 'no' in a stern voice and kept about saddling her. TOO bad, I'm riding you today.

 

And ever since, I have been in charge. The horse likes me and I like her. She's irritable & grouchy but we get along just fine.

 

Not only have you not liked Zeeke (or aspects of him) but now you are afraid.

 

I'm glad your hubby is on board.

[Bordercentrics]

A few more thoughts, Natalie, that popped into my head after writing - a book that would be helpful and interesting for both you and Husband to read would be Suzanne Clothier's "If dogs could talk Bones Would Rain from the Sky". She is a positive trainer who is big on relationships with our pets, and stresses that we have to respect the dog if we want respect. It is one of the few books that I re-read.

 

Foot sensitivity - I have had good results in my classes (CGC classes at my training club) with foot sensitive dogs by taking them in my hand up at the elbow and caressing the leg, while slowly making my way down to the foot. Have hubby try this first. The dog is often startled to find that you are holding his foot, which you release as soon as you get there. Big treat and lots of praise. If you clicker train, use the clicker. If not, lots of the treats and praise. I was told that this is how you handle horses feet. I know nothing about horses, just did it instinctively with a dog one night and it worked.

 

Food or object guarding - teach him the trading game. If you take something from him or tell him to give something up and he does, ALWAYS reward him with a yummy treat, favorite toy, or something he will like that you approve of him chewing!

 

End of random thoughts!

 

Kathy Robbins

[Lunar]

RaisingRiver - Unfortunately at this point the two emotions are pretty tied together.... the dislike and the fear. And I have felt SO guilty for SO long over the fact that I really can't say I like him. I've finally gotten to the point of admitting it, at least. But after two years I'm still no closer to liking him much more than I did. I like him in a kind of way that you'd like a friend's dog that you visited once in a while, who tended to act up a whole lot. They're nice, they have many positive qualities, but you're so happy to go home to your own dog. Yep, this is all squarely on my shoulders, and something I know is a big problem.

 

Kathy - Thank you for that suggestion, I was just going to make a trip to the library - that is one book I haven't gotten around to reading yet. The local library doesn't have a copy, but I can put in a request from a regional library.

 

Zeeke's issues can be very situational. He will give us his paw in "shake a paw." We can hold it for a few seconds. He will start getting mouthy if you hold it any longer than that, but we are definitely trying to praise him for letting us touch/hold his paw. He does okay - if it's on his terms, like shake a paw.

 

As for the possession guarding - I am very happy to say that, while he does still show negative behaviors and guarding tendencies, we ARE able to manage the behavior. Two years ago you COULD not get things away from him, period point blank. Now he will almost always listen to me when I ask him to sit and drop it. He does it reluctantly, but he does it - and without me needing to touch him or put my hands near him. And he gets TONS and TONS of praise when he does this, sometimes a cookie if I managed to get one before he swallowed the object. But despite the big huge hoopla and praise we make over his good behaviors, he still tries hiding with his object, and releases it very grudgingly. I am almost certain this is because of something we are doing wrong that we don't know.

 

My concern over the guarding is that, despite all that progress we've made, if you reached out to grab it he would still probably retaliate with a bite. So yes, we manage his behaviors pretty well, and he responds very well when you do. But if you make a mistake - or have someone like a child who does not follow that precise method, he's unpredictable.

 

So that's why we're going to a behaviorist... to hopefully help us the rest of the way. I guess there's only so much two amateurs can do!

[painted_ponies]

Just wanted to offer my sympathies.

 

My dearly-departed GSD was aggressive towards my OH. Not all the time, but in a sneaky, scary sort of way, e.g. once OH tripped and fell, and by the time he hit the ground Ax put fang-holes through the back of the overcoat OH was wearing. And I'd never have dared trust Axl around a child - he truly believed all of them were prey, in particular small blond girls for some reason.

 

I wound up keeping both OH and Axl, but it meant having Axl live outdoors. I partially enclosed our back porch, put up overhead fans, and fenced in a nice big yard. I made sure Ax had both dog and human companionship.

 

That way, OH didn't have to deal with Ax unless he just wanted to. Which eventually he did. It took a couple of years, but they became good buddies and would go for long walks together. I think it worked out because neither of them was forced to deal with the other (and because Ax preferred living outside to indoors so wasn't resentful). By Ax's declining years, OH was very attached to him and was a big help to me as Ax became less mobile.

 

My point is - you should not feel guilty for not liking Zeeke. In your shoes, I wouldn't find much to like there either.

 

My advice is to your OH. He needs to find a way to take care of his critter so that you can interact with Zeeke when you want, and in a way you find pleasant. Then y'all might discover you like each other after all. Or if not, you're not forced to deal with Zeeke - and neither are any future progeny.

[Kyrasmom]

What I absolutely learned from our time with a behaviorist is how both of us needed to act around our dogs in order to relieve them of the stress of being social climbers. I was also surprised by how easy it was. Our issues were more pack related but he drove home how our demeanor determines their behavior so sometimes things we do things wrong without even realizing it.

 

Of course the key, as with anything, is consistency, from both of you. Chances are it'll take some different interaction with you...and most likely it'll be even more diverse interaction with your husband. He could very well be reinforcing Zeeke's social standing towards you without even realizing it.

 

I hope the session is as eye opening and useful for you as it was for us.

 

Maria

[Geoffrey]

http://www.germanshepherds.com/ubbthreads/...reads.php?Cat=0

 

I don't know if you've seen that forum before, and I don't know if they'll be able to help any.....but what better place to get advice about a GSD than a forum FULL of GSD people/trainers.

[Lunar]

I think *think* I've seen that forum before. I may check it out. The problem I ran into before were that the GSD people picked up on my dislike of Zeeke. They didn't take too well to that. But thanks for the link.

[Geoffrey]

Random comment: My dog's name is Zeke, hehe. Only a 1 "E" difference.

[Lunar]

Hehe, good name.

[FlyByNight]

Hi Lunar,

 

Yes, you were a member of that forum before. Actually, it's where I remember you from (I have a GSD). I recall many, many pictures of chaos and destruction wrought by Zeeke. : ) Mostly on the trash can. I haven't been there in a while - there has probably been some turnover in the membership.

 

Quick question, does Zeeke like to play tug-of-war? I have an idea that might at least help with letting Zeeke release some of his pent-up energy, and the good news is that it doesn't involve much expense or effort on your part. Especially if your dog is a tug-maniac.

 

Also, how about building a chain-link kennel/dog run? You may already thought of this, or mentioned it and I missed it, but it might at least be bigger than the crate, and more stimulating for Zeeke during the day. And I believe it's cheaper than most fencing (though still an investment).

[Lunar]

Oh, then that must be the same forum... just looks totally different! (Well, that or my memory is shot, take your pick.)

 

Oh yes, the photos of destruction. We still laugh about the crazy stuff that happened before we got the crate. Thank goodness DH was converted, our house would never be safe. He still loves his trash, and that's where most of his posession guarding is concerned. That's why our kitchen (and the main trash) is baby-gated off, and the rest of the trash cans hold only paper.

 

Zeeke LOVES to play tug. It's his and hubby's favorite game, besides wrestling. (Yes, I told him the wrestling was a bad idea. Hubby is just figuring that out two years later.)

 

I think we're definitely going to be looking at building him a kennel-run - hopefully connected somehow to the indoors - for him during the day. My only worry is with him barking. We also really really want to fence in a portion of our yard for the dogs to play in. But of course that's a larger investment and is taken a back seat to some more important home repairs. Zoe at least can run in our backyard off-leash - Zeeke doesn't get that option since he likes to take off on us. :/

[FlyByNight]

I'm thinking that a springpole might be a great idea for you if Zeeke really loves to tug. Basically, it's a tug toy attached to a spring (a tough spring, such as a garage door spring, found at any hardware store), which is attached to a solid object such as a strong tree branch, rafter, etc.

 

The dog will tug on this, and most will even lift off the ground and start bouncing around. It's like tugging with a person who never tires out. They will exhaust themselves tugging on this, and the great thing is that you can keep them on-leash the whole time. Some dogs get really, really into it, and you end up with a nice tired dog, who has had a blast tiring himself out.

 

It would be really good for you especially since you're limited in how to exercise Zeeke, and don't have a fenced in yard. Here's a picture of one (it's not currently attached to anything):

 

 

You would not probably need two springs, but you can if you wish. The carabiner on the top can be attached to a short length of chain around a branch, or even a sturdy, buckle nylon collar around a branch. The rings, carabiners, and garage door springs can be bought at a hardware store. The rope tug can be bought anywhere, or you can use a knotted rope with something else attached if Zeeke doesn't like ropes. Some people use a length of denim, burlap, etc.

 

Just check the poundage on the hardware - you do want carabiners and rings that can take 60-90 lbs. of force, so they don't break while the dog's tugging.