Sometimes I wish I had a better dog...

[JaderBug]

Last night I went over to a friend's house for a game night with a big group of people. There ended up being quite a few dogs there, including Jade and an 8 month old Aussie, a Lab-Husky mix, and a fluffy designer puppy. Jade ended up being banished to sit on the couch the entire night because she couldn't handle just wandering around calmly like the other dogs... when we entered the house her leash got dropped and in her excitement took off into the first lap she could find, wild tail flailing, butt wiggling, etc. therefore, cards went flying, drinks got spilled, etc. etc. Needless to say I was terribly embarrassed.

 

I found myself being upset with Jade and massively disappointed in her, and jealous of the other polite dogs. Jade was easily the smartest dog there and best trained (well, or so I thought), however she's lacking manners. How can I get her to be calmer around people, new dogs, and new stimuli?? She loves people and other dogs so much, but there's no reason and no excuse that she needs to be berserk like that. How can I make her one of those dogs that is "seen but not heard?" She did finally calm down and go to sleep, but that was after an hour of trying to get off the couch.

 

I want to be able to take her with me to places, but I can't handle her acting like this. Any suggestions?

[Pippin's person]

I guess this is kind of obvious, but teach her how to be around people and other dogs while being calm. Most dog training books have explanations of how to do this (Pat Miller's the Power of Positive Dog Training is a good one). There's no use being disappointed with her for not knowing how to act if she hasn't been taught how to act in situations like that. It's hard to see some dogs not need such training, but you have a dog that does--now that you know that, you can take steps to teach her to act like you want her too. And maybe keep hold of her leash in these kinds of situations...

[Lenajo]

I guess the first thing to ask is if Jade is calm and quiet in other situations. Does she get to meet a lot of people regularily? only people that play with her? or people that she just has to relax and behave around?

 

I wouldn't bring a puppy to a party unless it was an exceptionally calm one. Note I didn't say *better* one. They can all grow up to have presentable manners, it just takes longer for some than others. My Aussie, at 11 months, would have put that party in shambles and if not doing that, would have been in the bathroom smoking something she rolled herself.

 

eta: the first rule of dog training is that it's just like parenting. Kids, furry or not, live to pull stunts like this in places like Walmart. It's a test. Only a test. They want to see if you're different in public.... I swear they do And to prove them right good parents become bribing and wheedling sops when they would normally take little Johnny by the hand and set him straight.

 

You cannot go into a place with a dog and not be prepare to leave if they cannot handle it appropriately.

 

So the question is - do you want to party? or train Jade? right now you have to make a choice. Some people can do both, but it takes time and practice to avoid Walmart Parenting If it makes you stressed, you may need to change your plan of attack.

[Ninso]

We all have days that we get frustrated with our dogs. Usually when they fail to perform up to our expectations it's because our expectations are too high. We ask them to do things they don't fully understand how to do, or don't fully understand that they should do. I'm sure Jade is very smart and very well trained, but she IS a young border collie. My three-year-old can come anywhere with me and generally behave, but in highly stimulating situations I do keep him on leash until he settles down and realizes that we're not there to play. My one-year-old foster is wild and crazy and I simply cannot expect her at this point to be calm and relaxed at all, ever. We're working on it, but it is a learning process. Try to expose Jade to stimulating situations when you will have time to work with her and give her your attention, rather than focusing on other things. At a game night, you want to play games, NOT train your dog. But if you want Jade to learn to behave in this type of situation, you need to work with her on it. Maybe the next time your friends are getting together, bring Jade over for just a little while, arm yourself with some treats, and work on some sit-stay, down-stay, and leave-it exercises, or just keep her on leash and reward her for calmly laying next to you. I know how easy it is to get frustrated with our dogs--I'm not a patient person, and I feel my dog's behavior reflects on me so when he misbehaves it's embarrassing, which just adds to the frustration. My mantra is "it's never the dog's fault." If my dog has failed, it is because I set him up to fail: I asked him to do something he doesn't fully know how to do, I asked him for something he's incapable of giving me because he's tired, sick, whatever. Keeping in mind that my dog's shortcomings are my fault really helps in keeping me from wishing I had a "better" dog. You love your dog! She just needs your help to act the way you want her to.

[Ms.DaisyDuke]

I had to kind of giggle...I know too many dogs like that. One being my aunts. I think he has ADHD.

Anyway, at least you'd like her to change and that's good! I second "The Power of Positive Dog Training". It's good. I would also start "practicing" getting jade to just settle on the couch for a while or teach her a settle command.

[JaderBug]

Thanks for all the suggestions... you really helped me put this back in perspective- I particularly liked Ninso's point of "it's not the dog's fault" and "your dog is a reflection of you." I guess I hadn't exactly looked at it that way.

 

I guess I was just kind of put off by Jade's behavior as compared to the younger Aussie. I did end up sitting out the first two games to sit on the couch with Jade and help her out... I guess I should have brought some treats along. I also didn't know what exactly the situation was going to be at this house, just that there would be other dogs there. I'll definitely have to work with Jade more with this. I'll have to find some situations to expose Jade to that I can work with her in... my friend has a new puppy that is going to take some puppy classes, maybe I can take Jade just to sit on the sidelines and make her be calm. Or sign her up for some new dog classes too.

 

I will definitely look into "The Power of Positive Dog Training" book, I looked it up on Amazon and it looks very helpful.

[sweet_ceana]

This is the exact reason Poke and I did obedience classes. I had no problem teaching him to sit, lay down, heel, whatever. What we had problems with was being around other people and other dogs. The classes helped immensely. I highly suggest putting Jade in a class to teach her to focus on you around others and to relax. The hardest part of class for Poke was sitting quietly while we listened to instruction. He showed off with the tricks, but realizing he needed to lay down, shut up and relax wore his little brain out. He is much better behaved... because of the classes.

[Ooky]

Rachael, I feel your pain. Odin and Jade sound pretty similarly effusive. One thing that I've noticed is that he IS different than other dogs, both other adult dogs AND other non-BC pups. He is *more* everything, and that includes more wild when he gets all puppy crazy.

 

Odin is in the phase right now. I don't know whether it will last another month or another 6, but he is deep in his teenage lost-my-mind-don't-hear-you-mom-how-bout-I-do-THIS-terrible-thing?!? period. AND we are trying to be slowly coming off of crate rest. HA! What few manners or ounce of self-control he had he lost following the surgery and subsequent lack of stimulation, exercise, and freedom. I just keep seeing it as an uphill battle, but I know we will get there.

 

My dog usually goes berserk for the initial _____. That is, arriving to work, leaving the house and starting our walk, or when people first come over. I find being stern but expecting the absolute worst during those first 5 minutes of whatever exciting thing serves my mental state better, warding off frustration and looking for improvement on a minute to minute basis with him. If Odin had come to a party like you describe, he would have entered EXACTLY the same way, meaning absolutely no harm but leaving a swath of destruction in his wake. This in spite of our CGC class and all our work with manners. But he's never been in that situation (with all the party dogs, at that specific person's house, with lots of people he'd never met before), so I would totally expect him to lose it for at least 5 minutes. I would literally go to a party like that knowing Odin may never be able to calm himself enough to be off lead (bad case), and I would maybe even have to leave early (worst case). That much new might just overload his system no matter what I did, which maybe is what happened to Jade?

 

I just had some people over on Sat night, and Odin went nuts (predictably). He had to stay in his crate for a lot of the evening, not just for his shoulder but because I won't let him have freedom to be bad in a situation like that. When I did let him out, it was on lead. He sat under my chair after meeting people (one at a time, with my help), and other than that, we just worked on no whining, no biting the lead, lay down, and SETTLE during my party. He literally couldn't progress much beyond that! But we at least got that far, which was a big improvement over the shoulder-snapping, feral joy.

 

No, this does not make me look cool with my friends and co-workers. Yes, it does mean I get a lot of comments about "Border Collies ARE kind of wild, aren't they? I thought he was supposed to be smart." From people who were so admiring of his behavior at 5 months it irritates the heck out of me - I want to be like, Yes, you fickle fool, that's why this ain't the type of dog for YOU!

 

But these things I know: he is young and will change! He is not boring, and nothing if not a constant, shifting challenge! And his spirit and intelligence outshine all those "boring" pups I meet. He is not just a good dog but a great one, waiting to grow up. We will get there, I know you and Jade will too.

 

And Wendy, your post about your pup in the bathroom at the party made me cry laughing. Thanks for that

[Root Beer]

I used to feel the same way about Speedy when he was 2 years old and he used to go ballistic in Agility class. I just wanted him to be like the other dogs.

 

In retrospect, I got a better deal than I would have if he had been.

 

You can help Jade learn how to behave well in such situations. It might take time and a bit of figuring to get a good training plan in place, but you can get there.

 

The fact that other people's dogs might not need any extra work in this area doesn't matter at all. It is what it is - you can only do what your own dog needs.

 

Power of Positive Dog Training is a good place to start. If you work her through the six week plan that Pat Miller sets forth, you will have a really good foundation to work from.

[Sue R]

This is the exact reason Poke and I did obedience classes. I had no problem teaching him to sit, lay down, heel, whatever. What we had problems with was being around other people and other dogs. The classes helped immensely. I highly suggest putting Jade in a class to teach her to focus on you around others and to relax. The hardest part of class for Poke was sitting quietly while we listened to instruction. He showed off with the tricks, but realizing he needed to lay down, shut up and relax wore his little brain out. He is much better behaved... because of the classes.

You have received some excellent advice, and this is one reply that I would agree with whole-heartedly. While a class will teach you skills in understanding and training your dog, it is the opportunity to socialize with trainers, handlers, and other dogs in a new location that is the most valuable aspect of a class IMO.

 

I would suggest to anyone and everyone to start classes when a dog is just a little pup, and at least continue them for much of that first year, when there are all sorts of issues and situations to deal with - puppyhood, growth, teething, fear periods, adolescence, and so on.

 

In addition to basic, family dog obedience, taking an agility class or two is also helpful - the dog and you will work off-lead and the dog also learns how to be confident and "cope" with obstacles and take direction. You might find it so enjoyable that it becomes a new hobby for you and a great source of mental and physical activity for your dog.

 

A good class is an excellent resource in many ways. Best wishes!

[pammyd]

I feel your pain - and you have got some fab advice here

As I think you realise YOU made a mistake, your dog did nothing wrong he was just being a dog

Far too much going on all at one time - his head must have been spinning

Start of teaching a 'settle' command (just to lie quietly at your feet) and build up slowly the distractions - if you can do it in a puppy class while listning to the teacher then great (but build to that slowly, dont expect him to do it for long and reward lots so they know thats what you want)

I find the puppy classes are great as well to teach the dogs that just because there is other dogs there does not mean it is play time (or in Mias case - attack time) playing is outside

 

also when in the future you try a night like this again spend time in the day to wear your dog out, a really long run followed by some mind work

a worn out dog will settle much quicker

expect him to be a little mental at 1st and keep a hold of the lead till he is calm, only let him greet people and dogs when he is calm and if he starts getting excited move him away

 

It might take a while but you will have the best behaived dog there, you just have to think like him and remember he is also the smartest so his little brain is in a whirl

[BC-Liz]

No, this does not make me look cool with my friends and co-workers. Yes, it does mean I get a lot of comments about "Border Collies ARE kind of wild, aren't they? I thought he was supposed to be smart." From people who were so admiring of his behavior at 5 months it irritates the heck out of me - I want to be like, Yes, you fickle fool, that's why this ain't the type of dog for YOU!

 

I know what you mean here. That irritates me to no end either. We also get people making excuses for Masi like she's some sort of cripple. Geez, she's just shy people, yes she was abused earlier in life, but if you stop making a big deal out of it, we'll all be happier.

 

The exercise point is a good one. You weren't clear whether or not your pup had already been run or walked at least. Before we go anywhere social with our dogs where they'd have to be calm we give them a good solid run. Whether its chasing the ball for 45 mins or an hourish jog with us. If your dog doesn't have the pent up energy, it'll be more likely to settle. Don't feel bad about her not being able to settle yet, she's still young. The more often you put her in social situations like this, the better she'll behave in them. Just have to keep them structured. Keep her on leash when she's greeting people then tie the leash to your waist so she can't leave your side. Treats help as well. Good luck!

[Lewie'sMom]

My mantra is "it's never the dog's fault." If my dog has failed, it is because I set him up to fail:...

 

Those are very wise words!

 

I'd like to adopt them into my sig line. Any objections, Ninso?

 

I've never put it into words but I have the same belief bouncing around in my head.

[Ninso]

Those are very wise words!

 

I'd like to adopt them into my sig line. Any objections, Ninso?

 

I've never put it into words but I have the same belief bouncing around in my head.

 

No objections! I'm sure it's not my original thought--either heard it somewhere or combined ideas of others.

[bc4pack]

One thing you might want to look at is Dr Karen Overall's Protocol for Relaxtion.... (Google)

 

Make sure you reward calm, quiet behaviour when you see it...Folks tend to focus on dogs when they are out of control and tend to forget the low key praise when they are 'being good'.

[Root Beer]

One thing you might want to look at is Dr Karen Overall's Protocol for Relaxtion.... (Google)

 

Make sure you reward calm, quiet behaviour when you see it...Folks tend to focus on dogs when they are out of control and tend to forget the low key praise when they are 'being good'.

 

Good suggestion! If you do that, here's a hint - you don't get the dog up in between every directive! The dog stays in the sit or down the whole time! That is usually not clear to most people. In fact, I think the first time I tried it, I got the dog up in between every directive. It doesn't bring forth relaxation that way.

[Ringo's Dad]

I so appreciate this board and all the great people. A friend of mine who runs A Cattle dogs in agility says they don't get a brain until they art 2. We have seen such progress in Ringo since the turned 2 in Oct. But then there has been a lot of hard work. I would recommend the book Click to Calm. It seems like one of the most important things BC'S need to learn is how to be calm. I play exciting games combined with required downs. Stay calm get to play. I also use the word "Ready.........." to transition him from calm to Go. That way he can relax completely until he hears the signal that the games are about to start again.

Good Luck