How My Heart Aches

[Skyler]

I was looking at old photos of my late Skyler tonight. Im trying to gather them up to take the negatives in and have them placed on a CD, as I only had film cameras while he was alive. I'm of course a mess at this point, as he meant litterally the world to me. I tried taking a few photos of the photos to see how it would turn out. You all have heard me talk about him so much and what he meant to me, that I thought I would post a few of my favorite puppy pics. I vividly remember taking both of these about 14 years ago. Folks, it seems like yesterday. Don't take a single day for granted with your dogs as their lives are as short as they are marvellous. Love them like there is no tomorrow, as one day there won't be.

 

 

I miss you so very much my friend, my soul. You carried me through the roughest years of my life, litterally saved my life and taught me what it was to truly love and be loved. Thank you with all that I am for being my friend. We will meet again one day, I promise.

 

[Bo Peep]

He looks like such a happy boy. It's so hard to lose your heart dog. BUT, now you have others. They won't fill that void, but they will be there and really, I know how you are feeling, someday, you might be lucky enough to find another heart dog. I feel your pain, as I have every day since I lost my heart dog. Like I mentioned before, I have no clue what made her different from the rest. Just love at first site. A lot of my dogs pics are on "regular film" I don't even have a scanner. I hold the memories in my mind and in my heart. I hope you do too. ***Big Hug***

Dianne

[Skyler]

Thanks for the hug as I really needed one. Little Koda knows that Im upset for some reason and has been giving them to me all evening too - he's such a sweet boy. I too think about him every single day and the sense of loss never seems to get any better. I was a wreck for months after losing him and my wife was at a loss for what to do. Im really an upbeat guy but losing him just took all joy out of me for the longest time. My wife tells me that she was actually getting very worried for a while. Thats why she dragged my rear to get another. It helped for certain but there is no replacing Skyler. Im just glad Im able to not compare them and let my current pups just be who they are.

 

As for the photos, if you have the negatives you can take them to most photo labs and they can make a digital disc for you - just take it to a good place. I have a good place I trust to take mine. If worst comes to worst you can just do what I did and take digital photos of your old photos. Just use good light and angle it a bit to avoid glare from the gloss. I then dumped them into my photo editor, lightly enhanced them and cropped the edges to make them square. I dont think these two turned out to bad.

 

Thanks again for the kind words and friendship. I feel like dookie and appreciate the little pick-me-up.

 

Ryan

[Barb Scott]

Many Hugs to You... We still have 14 year old Blaze, but have lost Quest (age 10 to cancer of the spleen) and Skye (Blaze's full brother at age 11 and one week to bone cancer). I totally agree; time passes so quickly. Appreciate your guys for the short time they are with you!

Barb S

[Skyler]

Thanks Barb. I lost Skyler to cancer (pancreatic) as well...the silent killer they call it as you dont know until its too late unless you test for it. Skyler went from a happy dog to passing away in my arms in three days. I called his breeder to tell them the news and he just cried on the end of the phone. Apparently his momma died three years earlier (she had him at three years of age) from pancreatic cancer and she too was 13. She went from normal to passing in his arms within three days also. They apparently have other BCs to herd their cattle but said they didnt breed any longer as they felt they could never breed the same quality of ability, personality and brains as her pups. She was their heart dog as well.

 

The cancer must have been hereditary. After talking and sobbing together for awhile apparently there was a lot of stuff passed down personality wise too. <sigh>

 

Ryan

[Serena+Eluane B.C.]

I am very sorry to hear about your loss. I am thinking that this loss must have occurred some time ago but everything takes time to heal. I am sorry for having not seen/read of his original passing.

 

The wonder of pictures and photos, thank goodness we have them! You can also start like a memories journal (a few lines under each photo). I keep a journal for Eluane as well, but it's more like a life journal for special changes that happen in her and my life, but it's sort of the same process as well... Many hugs to you.

[Ms.DaisyDuke]

My heart goes out to you. Daisy is only 3 now, and the day we had the "talk" about what to do if certain things happened to her and how we'd handle it if her quality of life would be less than 100% both of us got all teary eyed and choked up, and that's only thinking about the inevitable, I couldn't even imagine what you are going through. It's nice that you have puppy pictures to remember skyler by.

[Skyler]

I am very sorry to hear about your loss. I am thinking that this loss must have occurred some time ago but everything takes time to heal. I am sorry for having not seen/read of his original passing.

 

The wonder of pictures and photos, thank goodness we have them! You can also start like a memories journal (a few lines under each photo). I keep a journal for Eluane as well, but it's more like a life journal for special changes that happen in her and my life, but it's sort of the same process as well... Many hugs to you.

 

Yes, Skyler passed last year so it has been a while but I have never gotten over the loss - I don't think I ever could. My wife dragging me to get Koda helped keep my mind occupied a bit and Im certainly glad she did - he's a real joy and such a little lovebug too. She had never seen me like that in our nine years together. It was going through all of the photos to get them transferred to digital format that just really made it hurt so much again and it hit me very hard.

 

I really like the idea of the journal and what a wonderful way to enrich the experience and memory of your dog's life. Im going to start one for the pups and thank you for the suggestion - very nice idea.

[Jedismom]

I had a little pug mix named Chin who died at 13 yrs in Nov. 2006. He was my first dog and was there for most of the major milestones of my life. I'll never forget the day he followed my daughter, who had wandered out of the yard even though he knew he wasn't supposed to leave the yard. He followed her down to the road and when we found them,

she was sitting at the edge of the road with Chin running circles around her trying to protect her. When my son was a toddler he learned to walk by pulling up on Chin. Chin would make sure he was up and then would slowly ease away so as not to make him fall.

 

Perhaps they only come around once in a lifetime these special dogs. I know that Chin was one. I still wish he was here...

 

Having Cadi and Jedi certainly helps. They are totally different dogs and I love them for their own unique qualities.

 

I know it's hard sometimes..ok...go give Koda and Zak a hug...right now!

[bc4ever]

I'm so sorry for your loss. A year is like yesterday to someone who is hurting. And, much the same as when people we love pass away, there are those who would say, "A year? And you're still grieving?" There is no timetable. Pictures are a blessing and a curse. Of course you treasure those snapshots, but they still stir up a lot of emotions. You'll never forget your precious Skyler, but some day you'll be able to look at those pics and smile. You were blessed with a special friend. They're amazing animals. When we got our Border Collie puppy, my brother, who has an Aussie said, "Dog spelled backwards is God." I hope no one is offended by that statement--just that they are a gift from God. They have the ability to heal, to comfort, to make us laugh, to be goofy and playful. So do whatever makes you feel at peace--be it a journal, a book, a scrapbook, planting a tree. (I can't imagine life without Scooter. I'm crying as I write this.) The healing will come when you least expect it. And it will feel right. Give it time. We're all here for you.

[WyoBC]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know the pain never goes away. No matter how long ago they passed. Me and my Mom lost our Golden/mix about a month and a half ago to pancreatic cancer. It was one of the hardest things I have had to do. But I guess it never gets easy, no matter how many times you go through it. I still have my Black Jack to keep me going and I pray that I will have him for a long, long time. Without him I would have gone down hill fast. He's my angel no doubt. I'm glad that you have a few pictures of him. It makes all the difference.

[Skyler]

The support here is wonderful and I thank you all for it. In some way being able to talk about it helps, so thanks for letting me ramble.

 

Jedismom WyoBC, I am so sorry to hear about your loss as well. It just flat sucks and I understand what it feels like. The only thing that keeps me sane is knowing I will see him again because Im one of those weirdos that believes all dogs go to Heaven. Honestly, he's the first thing I want to see when I get there. I hope I dont get struck by lightning for that one.

 

BTW Jedismom - I have always admired your pups name being a Star Wars geek myself. Wondering why I never thought of that one?

 

And BC4ever, I love the dog spelled backwards thing. If you ever watch any videos that I produce for myself or a rescue video you will notice that "wet dog productions" is actually, "Wet doG Productions" There isnt anything sacreligious about it. When you look into a dogs eyes like I did in Skyler's and see that kind of love and purity, its just another reflection of who his soul came from. Nothing wrong with that at all.

 

Ryan

[katchambers]

I am sooooo sorry for your loss! It is just terrible to lose a beloved dog and no doubt, your best friend.

 

I lost my german shepherd when I was 15 years old, and my heart still aches when I think of her, it's aching right now. The pain will never go away, but it will ease off a little in time, enough for you to move on with your life like she would want you to.

 

There is nothing that can be said, and unfortunately it can more difficult to grieve over the loss of a dog than a human sometimes because people who don't have dogs don't understand and find it weird that you could be that upset over a dog, taking time off work to grieve for a person who has died is permitted, for a dog it is not.

 

I am so sorry for you loss!

 

Kat x

[BustopherJones]

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond gilt on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush,

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand by my grave and cry...

I am not there... I did not die.

 

Robert Hepburn

 

Skyler waits for you at the Bridge.

[dali]

My heart dog, a german sheperd died more than 20 years ago. But I still feel the warmth of his cuddles and kisses and the gentle way he had that would always make me feel so safe and loved. His photo's are lovely to have now , but I must admit I couldn't look at them for a long time.

 

Luckily all dogs have their own characters so they never really replace each other . Our little BC puppy is a joy to have and I'm already sorry that we have to realize that he will not be around forever.

 

But what counts is what you had, the love you shared and the joy brought into your dogs life !

 

Enjoy your new puppies and be proud of the memories you have of Skyler. We wouldn't be sad and grief over someone we did not love ..so it's better to grief over a loss of someone who was loved , it means you've shared something special !!!

 

I'm usually don't hug people I don't know ...but I'm making an exception here . Because I remember the pain so well.

Big hug !

[Sassy Girl]

My heart goes out to you all...I'm in the same boat as many of you. It's been a month and half since my Sassy Girl passed. She had been my heart dog for close to 15 years. I have a meltdown in the car about once a week at this point. Miss her terribly. My other dogs are wonderfu, love them all for who they are, but really, none of them can fill the void missing from my life.

 

This week has been a hard one for me. A good friend of mine had to put her GSD down on Tuesday, the matriarch of her family, as Sassy was in ours. Brought back a lot of memories of that last day I had with Sassy that I just can't shake this week. I know it will get better and one day another will come into my life that touches my heart the way Sassy did.

 

Skyler's pictures are beautiful. All of the pics of Sassy I had of her as a pup were destroyed in our house fire back in 2006, but the memory of that gorgeous little tri colored puppy our safe in my heart.

 

Hugs to you all my friends...we must consider ourselves lucky to have had the chance to share our lives with such wonderful dogs.

[BustopherJones]

It is still too soon to be able to talk about Missy without becoming emotional. But she will never be forgotten. On the dresser in our bedroom, just above the spot where she slept every night, is a beautiful engraved box (a gift from the people at the vet's office) that contains her ashes, ashes that will ultimately be buried with DW. To compliment the box is a magnificent arched crystal plate, transparent glass with the "I Loved You Best" poem that I posted as a eulogy to Missy etched into it, with a picture of Missy in her glorious prime. The plate is more that a tribute to our beloved dog, for it was a surprise gift from a truly special fellow member of this board. And so this shrine has become not only a dedication to the memory of our heart dog, but also a testament to the love and caring of people who I have never met, but are members of my "family" nonetheless.

 

Missy will never be forgotten; and neither will any of you...