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Why is it that it's the BAD things that dwell in my head?

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Today I took Odin to his daily trip to the park. Exept for another incident with the Froo Froo dog lady, everything was perfect - More that perfect!!


First it was Just me and Odie. We walked through the park, spent some quality time together, and had a great time.


Then came Trigger and his owner and him and Odin played for awhile. Great so far, right?


Then came the froo froo dog lady :rolleyes:


You would think that after the last incident she would have given up her little "Odin needs a big dog to play with" mantra, but Noooo! Now, on top of her sickening mantra, she said that "the last time I let Odin near gumper he rolled him over on his back and scared him".


First of all, that's BS because she has never let Odin within 2 feet of Gumper, except for a quick sniff which I witnessed and there was no dog flipping going on.


Anyway, I basically told her that if she didn't want to have Gumper near Odin then it was because of her own issues and it had nothing to do with Odin's behavior. Odin was playing with a dog Gumpers size RIGHT then and there!


Sigh. Anyway, she left, obviously miffed but not more so than me.


Then something happened that I thought was going to be just as bad . . . this lady went to meet some friends who had 3 small children. If I were to guess, I would say the girl was about 2 years old, and the boys about 4 and 5. They ran up to Gumper and hugged and kissed and played, yadda yadda.


But then the little girls eyes saw Odin and I think she fell in love. She waddled over yelling "Big dog like Gum-puh! The two boys followed.


At this point I got really nervous, because the only child Odin has ever been around is my 9 yr old sister.


So, I let myself have one quick bad thought directed at the kids parents and/or guardians for being halfway across the park and playing no mind to their children who were running at full speed toward a strange, large dog (Trigger and his owner left and everyone else drifted across the parc, leaving me alone with Odin and the children) . . . and then I started thinking positively. I held Odin's halti right where his lead attaches to it, gave him a little reassurance and flashed the kids a big smile.


I introduced them, trying to keep my mind positive the whole time and BOY did it pay off . . .


Odin was wonderful with them. No, he wasn't like lassy or even gumper, but for a dog who had never seen a human so small he was incredible. I feel like this was such a HUGE step for him and for us as a family. I didn't let go of his leash, but he was really tolerant of them, even letting the little girl, Sophie, lay her head on his back and give him a hug and a kiss.


I nearly cried like a baby. I was so proud of Odin, so grateful to these little kids and so thankful to whatever it is that gave me this blessing. Odin came to me at 3 months and my husband and I didn't know any children except my sister, who didn't visit often. I blamed myself for not trying harder to socialize him at a younger age with children, and I thought that it was a lost cause.


But today . . . today was beautiful. To see that cute, chubby faced, curly haired girl wrap her arms around my Odie and lay her cheek on his back . . . and to see him lay there, calmly, as if it were an everyday occurance It just made my heart sing.


But for some reason, now that we're back home, I find it hard to concentrate on that little miracle. Instead I keep thinking about that incident with Madame Froo Froo. I want to just forget it even happended but it keep coming back. I keep worrying that she'll hate me now and my husband's family will scorn me forever over this. Her hate I could deal with I suppose, I just don't like my dh's family thinking ill of me, it hasn't been very harmonious for me as it is.


Anyway, so I came here to get the bad off my chest and to share the good . . . and to ask, am I the only one who can't stop dwelling on the bad, even when awesome things happen within minutes of the bad things?


ps...sorry in advance for any typos, I typed this quickly

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This is NOT dog related, but I hope it helps somewhat. I absolutely ADORE my inlaws and vice versa. Well, I'm the only daughter in law they have, the others are son in laws. I love everyone in my husbands family just like they are my blood because I'm an only child. They are the ones that have given me neices and nephews. BUT...I've learned that I can love them w/o always having to please them (the brothers and sisters in law that is). I used to keep my mouth shut out of respect for my hubby and because they are as old as my parents (DH was unexpected at a late age for his parents). But in the meantime I was the one who got hurt by comments and such because they didn't agree w/ something I did or said.


An incident happened and that was the last straw for me. (Long story so I won't go into it). Basically they said and did some things that hurt me deeply and from that point on it didn't matter to me what they thought as long as DH loved me and my MIL and FIL love me as if I am one of their own. I care deeply for his family even to this day but I don't let them get me down and tell me how I should or shouldn't act. I figure they can except me the way I am or not at all.


It's hard not to worry what others think of you sometimes, especially when its someone close. But you can't live your life according to everyone elses wishes.


As for the Froo Froo lady, well she apparently didn't learn her lesson the other day, and had to be told again. That is her right to not want her dog around Odin, but not her right to keep making comments about such things w/o being expected to have comments made back to her.


On the upside, I think it's wonderful that Odin was so well behaved around those little children. That is definitely one of those "proud doggy moma" moments. Way to go Odin!!!

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Instead of being confrontational the next time w/ FrooFroo lady how about using her 'methods' with her? Perhaps something like "Well that's ok because I don't want Odin playing with a dog that...(insert behavior that could be seen as a bad thing here)" - Perhaps that will show her how her comments feel and would cause less conflict.


On the family thing - I get along well with my fiance's mom and his dad and dad's fiance, but I still don't let them walk on me. I do the same with my family too lol. Generally I've only had to deal w/ dog issues in my fiance's family oddly enough, but everyone seems to do well when respect is shared and info presented in a way that everyone can related to rather than "I'm right and you're wrong."


People can be tough to deal with, but how about trying a modified clicker method with the FrooFroo lady? Then you can get joy out of knowing that you trained her rather than getting annoyed! :rolleyes:

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You guys, thanks so much for the helpful replies! (as if I've ever gotten any other kind around here! :rolleyes: )


I've made a decision to have a *nice* conversation with this lady the next time I see her, and try to make her understand where I'm coming from without being confrontational. I truly don't think she realises how rude she seems.


As for my father in law, who is the person who doesn't think well of me because of what I said to madam froo froo, I'm going to tell him as tactfully as I can, that I don't agree with everything he says or does either but I don't shove it in his face.



Thanks again!


EDIT: Also, I don't think he really sees it from my point of view, so maybe I should explain it for him. I usually cannot go outside on my own without having a panic attack becuse of my anxiety, and i've been trying really hard to go out and be strong for Odin. So I cannot have this woman or anyone else setting my progress back. Everyday is a struggle and the last thing I need is to put up with her. I would much prefer it if she would just avoid me altogether instead of coming over to me all the time.

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Kee...those panic attacks can make it hard to live life to the fullest....I know firsthand. And coming from someone who knows exactly what your talking about, it is possible that the anxiety is making the situation even bigger (so to speak) than it really is (for people who don't deal w/ anxiety). Also, it makes it harder to tell someone how you feel when they treat you that way w/ anxiety.


I think its GREAT that you are getting out more even if it is for Odin. It does you more good than you realize. Just remember, you CAN speak your mind in a nice way and not be offensive. And if you do prefer her not to come over to you at all, just ask her politely to stay away from now on. Don't stop getting out more w/ Odin because of what someone else thinks of you hun. It's not fair to you or Odin.

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Kee, I send big hugs to you and Odin. I also know what it's like to deal with anxiety. I've been pretty anxious lately myself because of car and money issues. It sounds to me like you are taking the right steps to do what you have to do.


We don't always act the way we'd like to in situations, but you made a decision that was right for you at the time. The only thing to do is focus on the present and future. If she ends up not understanding after you talk to her and ends up hating you like you fear, well then it's her loss. You are a good dog owner and you seem like a good person. Just ignore her and focus on the good people in your life and family.


Dealing with anxiety is tough, but there are ways to cope. If you want, you can pm me and I can tell you some things I've done to help cope. Good luck!

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