Jump to content
BC Boards

O/T - Christmas dining suggestions


KrisK
 Share

Recommended Posts

I, for one, plan to follow this to the letter :rolleyes:

 

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday

buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact,

if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where

they're serving rum balls.

 

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine

single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than

single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year

but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories

in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an

eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one

for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

 

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole

point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make

a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy.

Eat the volcano. Repeat.

 

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with

skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother?

It's like buying a sports car with an automatic

transmission.

 

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort

to control your eating. The whole point of going to a

Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots

of it. Hello?

 

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now

and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have

nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which

you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a

10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

 

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet

table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size

of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have

as many as you can before becoming the center of attention.

They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them

behind, you're never going to see them again.

 

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of

each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and

one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have

more than one dessert? Labor Day?

 

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with

the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all

cost. I mean, have SOME standards.

 

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave

the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying

attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is

just around the corner.

 

Remember this motto to live by:

 

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the

intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well

preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in

one hand, martini in the other, totally worn out and

screaming,

 

"WOO HOO what a ride!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh stop it!! I mean, I love it, and this:

 

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the

intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well

preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in

one hand, martini in the other, totally worn out and

screaming,

 

"WOO HOO what a ride!"

should be plastered all over the place, Christmas or not, but dang am I hungry now! :D And there isn't a single cookie in this place right now (and there's no point in trying to change this state of cookie-absence long-term, believe me, I would win :rolleyes: )!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by KrisK:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the

intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well

preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in

one hand, martini in the other, totally worn out and

screaming,

 

"WOO HOO what a ride!"

Now I know what my new motto is! :rolleyes:
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey, I love fruitcake! Maybe it's because my mother made the best moist dark fruitcake. And our traditional Christmas bread is Pyraga - an eggy Lithuanian white bread made with honey, currents, and lots of dried and candied furits. Virtually identical to Italian Panatone. And, as "pyraga" it is technically not a fruit bread (duona) but a fruited yeast cake.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One thing you forgot to add on that list....Chocolate Covered Cherries!!!

 

Like eggnog, they only come around this time of year and believe me, I eat at least one box a night. Can't get enough of them!!

 

My mom asked me the other nite if I was gaining weight (which I can definitely stand to add a few more pounds) and I told her probably so w/ all the Cordial Cherries I've been eating lately. I'm just glad my mom and I are the only ones in the house that like them :rolleyes: More for us!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I haven't seen an episode of "The Simpsons" in years but all of a sudden I find myself sitting here thinking, "Oooooo, rum balls" in a Homer Simpson voice.

 

I am not so sure this is a good thing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...