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I bet some of y'all have heard this before. Person is interested in adopting a rescue dog. Transport will be involved, although potential adopter is willing to meet the transporter half way. Person requires, however, that her older bitch "like" the young dog before she will agree to take the young dog home on trial. Do y'all actually try stuff like this?

 

I envision the older bitch feeling she must put the youngster in his place right away, and quite rightly. Personally I prefer young males to be slightly afraid of me, too. :rolleyes: If the potential adopter decides the initial posturing means her bitch doesn't like the young dog, then I've wasted most of a day and a fair amount of gas.

 

But maybe I'm being too pessimistic. Anyone had similar experiences? Tips for increasing the chances of a successful introduction?

 

Or would you figure that, no matter how well introductions go, that there will be some snarking at some point in this canine relationship and the dog is likely to be returned? He needs a home, of course, but he's also done a good bit of moving around lately and I'd hate to set him up in a situation where the initial commitment is lacking.

 

Or is this potential adopter's requirement a reasonable and/or common one?

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I'd say due to distance and your time, it's entirely up to you if you want to take the 'risk' of the dogs getting along or not.

 

I totally agree with the lady that the dogs get along - so I can't fault her. However, if it was me (and it has been me before) I'd be the one to go the whole way to see the new dog since I have such requirements. Both Diesel, 6hrs each way and Aero, 3hrs each way through the snow, were dogs who had to fit in my with other two dogs (River specifically). And I was totally willing to take them all the way back if something didn't work out (thought to be honest, I wouldn't take Aero back to that specific shelter, I'd have find a home for him).

 

So I'd say it's up to you whether you want to spend your day that way - or if you think you can place closer to home, or more definitively.

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I have a dog-reactive dog who LOVES some dogs at first sight. I can tell by his posture and his interest when it's going to be a love match. If I were to ever get another dog, it would be partly so my dog could have the company of his own kind. (I do think he's incredibly happy when he's with another dog; even if we're on a trail and they're ignoring each other, I think Buddy likes feeling like he's traveling with a pack.)

 

So... if I decided to get a second, I would definitely take Buddy to the shelter or foster home and check out his reaction to potential housemate. If it seemed like a tense meeting, I would predict future tensions, based on my dog's history. If, though, it was one of those random love-fests, I'd feel very good about brining the dog home.

 

On the other hand, I would NEVER expect a foster person to travel a great distance to transport me a dog that I might not decide to take. As a potential adopter, I can say that I think that's asking too much. Seems reasonable to ask the possible new owner to do the traveling if this is only a "maybe." (And on the other other hand, I live in an urbanish area, where the number of potential sibling dogs for Buddy is very high, and wouldn't require me to look far from home.)

 

Mary

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You have to ask the applicant this, but subtly. You have to ask her how she would handle something the dogs getting snappy with each other over a high value item, and ask her what her expectations are of adding a second dog, and ask her what her limit is when it comes to degrees of aggressive displays amongst dogs, and from that you need to try to infer what she is likely to do if the dogs aren't immediate best friends.

 

To be completely honest, I have not had the best luck with applicants who have a Love-At-First-Sight qualifier. My dogs don't love any other dog on first sight, but they have successfully lived with dozens of other dogs in their lifetimes ... but IME, a lot of applicants wanting a second dog are expecting something out of Lady and the Tramp. It really depends on what her multi-dog management experience is like.

 

We rarely, if ever, travel to meet an applicant - it's just not practical. I have had people come from very far away to get their dogs (hello, Alaska!) and we just try to make sure we have covered all the bases first, so that we are more certain the dog is likely to be adopted. But we do a lot for rescue, and one thing we ask applicants is to make the effort to come to us - this does not guarantee anything, but it is more successful at weeding out people who think maybe they might possibly want to sort of consider maybe possibly having another dog :rolleyes:

 

If she is not willing or able to come the whole way, maybe it was not meant to be.

 

RDM

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As someone who was looking at adopting...I think it is a bad idea. You commit a lot of time and effort with perhaps a 50:50 chance of success.

 

Also, there is no way the dogs can meet somewhere and know within a reasonable time if they will like each other. When my older, normally submissive dog first met our new Aussie, he wasn't happy at first. A bit snappish, and a bit of 'Let's explain who the Boss is'. A few hours later, it was, "I might accept your presence." Two days later, it was "Let's chew on each others faces and run around the yard!" Now it is, "If you REALLY want that rawhide stick, go ahead and take it".

 

Our daughter brought their somewhat mean & possessive Dachshund over for Thanksgiving. It was all snap and bark for about two hours, then the weiner dog began to accept the puppy - not that Rusty gave him much choice. :rolleyes:

 

The adopter should assume risk and be glad to accept the dog on trial. If it doesn't work out after a couple of weeks, they should return the dog to you. Just IMHO. I may have some mixed feelings about rescue, but the rescuer shouldn't be taking all the risk.

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As a recent adopter (from a shelter so it is a bit different), i definately think that the person wanting to adopt should do all of the travelling and incur all of the cost. We had certain criteria when we were looking to adopt. Originally we wanted a young (but not a puppy) female. However, we evaluated the situation with our current dog (a 10 year old alpha female) who doesn't love other dogs but will tolerate and even dain to like a few, and adjusted our wants/needs. After careful consideration we realised that our best chance for success was a male puppy. After searching locally for a while, we ended up driving 10 hours to get Orbit. Why should the rescue incur costs for something that this person wants? If you want to buy a tv and decide to comparison shop, no one is going to bring the tv to your house to see how you like it. I realise that it is different but i think it is even more absurd that someone would expect a volounteer organization to do that. Wow, that almost sounds like a rant!

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I'd ask her to come to me. I'd point out the fact that I'm trying to do rescue on my nickel, and with travel costs being what they are these days, it's only fair that it be on her. Plus, I have this policy now anyway, that all potential adopters or purchasers of dogs come meet me and see the place, after an adopter who never saw my place made a lot of assumptions about what goes on here.

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I'd ask her to come to me. I'd point out the fact that I'm trying to do rescue on my nickel, and with travel costs being what they are these days, it's only fair that it be on her. Plus, I have this policy now anyway, that all potential adopters or purchasers of dogs come meet me and see the place, after an adopter who never saw my place made a lot of assumptions about what goes on here.

 

 

I agree if you require that a love at first sight thing then (adopter) you do the leg work. We find people with that expectation dont adopt.

 

I told a very realistic adopter today with an older female to expect hostility, that the dog she was adopting doesnt always know his place. He can be a general pest although it's improved with age. They liked the dog and were willing to work with it.

 

For an example of what happens when you do part of the driving mom was swapping transports with another rescue.

She was supposed to stay home today.

Some one called, great references, loved the Chi he saw, convinced mom to drive to the transport area to meet. So loss of time and gas and "they have to think about". "They researched other dogs in the meantime of her meeting them" "They'd like to meet them all first before commiting." :rolleyes:

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Years ago, when I added a third puppy to my very first two, I did what all the books and trainers told me to do: introduce them on neutral territory. So I took my dogs up to the kennel - that would be neutral for them and I felt an 8 wk. old puppy wouldn't even care about neutral territory. My dogs loved the puppy, and played with her all afternoon. And when I put them all in the station wagon to go home, my two dogs backed up and said, "What the he11 is SHE doing in here!" And then we had two rough weeks at home. First week they ignored her and pretended she didn't exist; second week they tried to eat her and make her disappear. And then... it was just fine.

 

Back in July, I took Stormy with me to meet Kylie on neutral territory for both of them when I went to pick her up at a designated spot. She was supposed to have loved other dogs, but she hid behind her mother's legs and snarled and snapped at my dog. He thought she was just fine; his tail wagged and he really seemed to like her. Hmmm. Got them home and the first four days she wanted to eat him, and he wanted to play. After four days, she decided she might like him, but then HE decided that she wasn't leaving and HE snarled and snapped and wanted to eat her. (This really blew my mind; I never expected that from him!) After four days of the shoe being on the other paw, everything calmed down....and now it is also fine.

 

My point is, I don't know that anyone can tell at an initial meeting if the dogs will get along. You have to work at that a little bit. The dogs may seem fine until you get them in a home situation and then they start working out who's dominant; who's toys are who's; etc. etc.

It seems to me if you want to bring ANY dog into your home with another dog (whether it's a puppy or adult or rescue) you should be responsible enough to realize that it is going to be something to work at and a very BIG responsibility. And as with my dogs, I don't think the first impression really tells you anything about how the dogs are going to get along.

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On further inquiry, it appears the potential adopter is pretty committed to getting another dog, and willing to work with some training issues like jumping on people. But has a very low tolerance for any type of posturing at all, let alone outright aggression. I dunno - Possum is reported to be a very submissive fellow, and he has always lived with older bitches. It might work - or might not. I guess there's only one way to find out. I suppose I'll be Possum-portering at some point this week. *sigh* But only because this dog's had kind of a rough time, and I volunteered to help transport already (before I knew about the love-at-first-sight requirement). After this, I agree, I'm letting the adopter come to the dog.

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I wouldn't take Aero back to that specific shelter, I'd have find a home for him

Hey, I thought we already settled that! :rolleyes:

 

Ponies, I wonder if you don't want to probe a little more into WHY this person is so sensitive about posturing? A little posturing goes with the turf when you live with dogs, doesn't it? Did she have a Really Bad Experience? Does she not know how to handle it (i.e be the leader)? I'm not saying you should conduct an inquisition, but maybe you can increase her comfort level with being able to handle minor posturing, and with being able to tell the difference between that and a genuine problem.

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On further inquiry, it appears the potential adopter is pretty committed to getting another dog, and willing to work with some training issues like jumping on people. But has a very low tolerance for any type of posturing at all, let alone outright aggression. I dunno - Possum is reported to be a very submissive fellow, and he has always lived with older bitches. It might work - or might not. I guess there's only one way to find out. I suppose I'll be Possum-portering at some point this week. *sigh* But only because this dog's had kind of a rough time, and I volunteered to help transport already (before I knew about the love-at-first-sight requirement). After this, I agree, I'm letting the adopter come to the dog.

 

I've been following Possum's story. I think it's worth it for him. I'll keep my fingers crossed. Please let us know!

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Alaska has a good point. Even if the 2 dogs get along initially, there's still going to some posturing eventually. When JJ & Jake met for the 1st time, you would have thought they were long lost brothers! After about a week, JJ started getting tired. I swear JJ gave me a look that said "Mom, this has been fun but when's this guy going home???" When he realized Jake was home, the posturing began.

 

Now JJ and I are in the process of teaching Josie doggie manners. She's way too loving and affectionate. Any dog she meets, she wants to get in their face and lick them. JJ will growl at her and when she keeps it up, he'll snap. DH thought JJ was being mean. I told him that's not it. JJ's just trying to teach her getting in another dog's face is not acceptable.

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I've been following Possum's story. I think it's worth it for him. I'll keep my fingers crossed. Please let us know!

 

I decided to listen to my waters, which were telling me that home just wasn't right for Possum. But another family, a mother and her seven year old son, turned up who will, I think, be just perfect for him. They picked him up yesterday, and he bounded into the car without a backward glance.

 

So y'all please keep your paws crossed that Possum is home at last! :rolleyes:

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  • 4 weeks later...

*sigh* Possum will be rejoining our rescue. It turns out the home had a kind of Timmy-and-Lassie vision for him and the kid - but Possum preferred the company of the Mom. She says he pestered the crap out of her for attention but ignored the kid. I suggested remedial training, using a crate for time-outs when he got annoying and having the kid let Possum earn some treats for tricks - but no go. Possum's got his walking papers.

 

Just thought I'd update those of you following the Possum saga.

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I sometimes get a bit overwhelmed at the negativity on these boards...but this is a perfect example of why it exists. The stupidity and ignorance of folks must be overwhelming for those deeply involved in Border Collies and/or rescue. All I've ever dealt with have been my own dogs. I haven't had to see the harm ignorant people do, let alone the malicious.

 

Very sorry to hear this. It must get very painful to see.

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You know, this is very annoying to me.

 

Here's how my parents raised me: If you make the decision to bring it into the house - it's yours till it dies. There is no shirking of responsibility. Nothing is a throw away. You love it; you take care of it; period.

 

Unfortunately, this seems to be a throw-away society anymore.

 

I wonder if that mother realizes what kind of a lesson she is teaching her child. I suggest remedial training for her.

 

sorry...it just p's me off. :rolleyes:

 

ETA: hope the kid understands what might happen if HE pesters too much!

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Thanks, bsms99 and beachdogz, for commiserating with me. I feel a little better now. :rolleyes:

 

It does get frustrating, but that was our deal with the adopter - same as with all our adopters - if the dog doesn't work out, we take him back. That's one reason why people adopt from rescue instead of from a shelter or buying from a breeder - they get a failsafe guarantee.

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Argh! How frustrating!

 

Here's how my parents raised me: If you make the decision to bring it into the house - it's yours till it dies. There is no shirking of responsibility. Nothing is a throw away. You love it; you take care of it; period.

 

Same here. My little sister started feeding a stray cat last winter. Then the ungrateful cat kittens, of course :rolleyes: . And so they got the whole family (4) vaccinated and spayed/neutered. Now my 10 y/o sister buys at least half of their food with money that she earns. She even helped pay the vet bill when they got spayed/neutered. And I have no doubt that she will always be very responsible when it comes to animals that she takes on.

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They didn't have him for very long did they? There are several things they could have done to help that relationship develop. I'm sad for Possum. I'm thinking she'll have to go through alot of dogs to find this instant connection. The other woman that was interested in him wanted no posturing between Possum and her dog. Where do people get these ideas?

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