Could use some suggestions

[kaos]

Quite frankly I don't think Julie was rude at all, she just didn't say what you wanted to hear. This board is ALL about doing what is best for the border collie breed and all other dogs... seems to me that human education is one of the most important aspects of that. To laugh off your sons actions as so big hearted and and to rail on board members who try to point out the irresponisbility of his actions is ridiculous.

 

Good luck finding a pit bull rescue, I hope the poor pup can have a decent life and I would certainly have your son doing the phoning around and also scrounging the money ( a job is good but savings if he doesn't currently have one) to pay for her care to and offset his poor choices and the burden he is placing on the rescue system. Likewise I would probably march him through the pound or have him volunteer so he can gain some real world experience and perspective.

 

Sara

[Dixie_Girl]

No one said, jeeze what a lousy mama you are, and now look how your son turned out. You must be feeling some guilt to "explode" on one person, namely Julie. All that was given were "SUGGESTIONS" to maybe help your son AND the lil pup. Imagine for a moment that you took those suggestions and said gee, they may be right. And then went to your son, and tossed it out to him, and he said, yeah, your right mama, and then you came here and said, hey, I took y'alls suggestions, and he is actively calling and searching the internet looking for a good rescue, and he is going to drive the pup there himself when he finds one. We would have been happy for you, your son, and the lil pup. It still boils down to taking care that the pup ends up in the right place. At the end of the day, that is really the only concern.

 

And just FYI, I happen to be the only one with perfect kids on this forum.

 

Also, for AKB, uh, who's got the other half of your BC? And did you get the eating part or the other part?

[Guest LJS1993]

Why deal with the headache? If I was DH I would take charge and make sure that dog was not in my home.

[AKB]

Linda- Both, actually. We have the top half. We're hoping the legs get here soon because it sure is tiring to take her out for a drag four times a day.

[Dixie_Girl]

[AK dog doc]

Thank you for the imput....as I said I was asking for some imput on the puppy and appreciate everyone's response...as for the irresponsibilty of my son, yeah, well thanks for that too...already knew that...and didn't ask for opinions on that...sorry if that sounds harsh...this is a bc forum, not a parenting one...and sorry if I'm sounding a little snippy, but, oh well....lucky for you all that commented on that, you must have perfect children....

 

That said, we are a dog loving family and when he purchased the puppy, he wasn't thinking (obviously), all he was thinking about was giving a puppy a loving home, which he, my daughter, and all of our pets have always been raised in. I asked for advice not judgements, which is what seems to happen alot on this forum...

 

So thanks again, and I will probably go back to being a "lurker".....

 

You don't sound "a little snippy" to me. To me you sound defensive and sarcastic. Not one person here accused you of poor parenting - and not one said your son was a bad person or otherwise imperfect, either. They said your son's ACTIONS - not him, his actions - were an error with consequences, a fact to which YOU alluded in the beginning. That being so, I don't see how it should come as a surprise to you that you were agreed with and offered opinions - which you solicited, BTW, and if you wanted ONLY info on what to do with the puppy you should have so specified, and/or omitted the other information - but you included the info and asked for advice without specifying "I know this was an error in judgement on my son's part and I don't want to go into that, I ONLY want info on what to do with the puppy". I guess I don't get why you felt the need to jump down Julie's throat for pointing out (under the circumstances and, IMO, correctly) that he should have thought of the consequences BEFORE he spent the money, and perhaps, having had this valuable (and relatively inexpensive) life lesson, he will do his thinking BEFORE the fact the next time, rather than AFTER the fact, as he is doing now. I don't see how that's offensive, accusatory or rude.

 

Every single person who reaches adulthood will sooner or later have to learn to look before he or she leaps. Not one of us are born knowing that. Some of us learn it younger than others. Big deal. It doesn't make the early learners gods who walk among us and the later learners scum, and no one has suggested as much. I can't think why you seem to have leaped to the conclusion that we are all judging you and/or your son, but your reaction seems to indicate that you feel we are impugning your son's character and/or your own parenting skills, which has not been done here - not even once. TBH, the ONLY rudeness or sarcasm I've seen in this thread is actually contained in the post quoted above.... and it's also the only judgemental one (since it presumes that people here are judging you and your son, in the absence of any such evidence, and further that you are being "picked on" because you don't work your dog on sheep. I'm sorry, but that's a totally baseless assertion, and rather insulting, as it suggests prejudice on "our" part and ignores the true intent of those posting, which is to offer the help you asked for in the first place - a kind and generous impluse, actually, and maybe all the more so if you take into consideration the fact that this is not a pitbull rescue board, either - but not one person who posted even CONSIDERED withholding advice or suggestions based on that fact. Everyone tried to help, and they were repaid with what were, IMO, rather caustic and biting remarks.)

 

Anyway, it's up to you if you go back to lurking or if you go, "Hmmm, maybe I misinterpreted the comments offered, I guess I CAN see them from a different perspective" and continue on from there. But I still don't think jumping down the throats of those who have given advice or opinions at your request is the way to go, in either case.

 

JMO, of course.

[smileyzookie]

Hopefully the person who emailed that to me last year will not mind my using it on the boards. This is what I think of the current situation in one short and sweet sentence.

 

It's very unclassy and mean of you to ask a stranger for help and then turn on them when they offer you honest advice.

 

But I also want to add that buying dogs from backyard breeders is not a very responsible thing to do. Perhaps your son was not aware of the backyard breeders, unfortunately most people arent and that is why their horrific businesses go un-noticed much of the time. Maybe you could fill him in on some info about them. Also, I understand that you are looking out for your son and want the best for him with no tough lessons. Fortunately this lesson can be learned, didnt harm anyone (except possibly his checkbook), and you can move on with life. I agree about speaking to pit bull rescuers, and possibly local vets ect. Good luck.

[KellyR]

 

[BayouBC]

You might already know this and I'm not sure where in Maryland you live, but keep in mind that pitbulls are illegal in some Maryland counties. I know they're illegal in Prince Georges County since I lived in Laurel. And while I'm sure you wouldn't take the pup to a shelter, I'll also point out that many of the shelters in MD have standing policies to euthanize ANY pitbull that comes in, regardless of whether they're illegal in the county or not. Unless there have been some dramatic changes since I moved.

 

Those are things to keep in mind when rehoming the pup since you don't want to rehome her to someone that lives in a county with a ban. In PG County, all the police have to say is that your dog LOOKS like a pit or pit mix and they can seize the dog.

 

From a rescuer's perpective, if you can find a rescue to take this pup, I think it would be great if your family would also start the pup on vaccines and have her spayed. Even if you find a new home for her, I'd recommend the same anyway. There are some very ugly pit owners (aka dog fighters) in the PG/Anne Arundel/Baltimore areas. A spayed pup is going to be less of a draw for them, though there is the potential for those people to want the dog as a bait dog. So, again, just be very careful about placing this pup. If you'd like some help finding a low cost spay/neuter so you can spay this little girl, feel free to PM me. I think I still have some of the websites linked, and even if I don't, I remember some of the areas that had them.

 

Personally, I think the puppy's a hell of a lot better off staying with you instead of being returned to the breeder. At $100 price tag and with the response the "breeder" gave your son about returning her, it doesn't sound like someone that should own dogs at all.

[bettilu]

You might already know this and I'm not sure where in Maryland you live, but keep in mind that pitbulls are illegal in some Maryland counties. I know they're illegal in Prince Georges County since I lived in Laurel. And while I'm sure you wouldn't take the pup to a shelter, I'll also point out that many of the shelters in MD have standing policies to euthanize ANY pitbull that comes in, regardless of whether they're illegal in the county or not. Unless there have been some dramatic changes since I moved.

 

Those are things to keep in mind when rehoming the pup since you don't want to rehome her to someone that lives in a county with a ban. In PG County, all the police have to say is that your dog LOOKS like a pit or pit mix and they can seize the dog.

 

From a rescuer's perpective, if you can find a rescue to take this pup, I think it would be great if your family would also start the pup on vaccines and have her spayed. Even if you find a new home for her, I'd recommend the same anyway. There are some very ugly pit owners (aka dog fighters) in the PG/Anne Arundel/Baltimore areas. A spayed pup is going to be less of a draw for them, though there is the potential for those people to want the dog as a bait dog. So, again, just be very careful about placing this pup. If you'd like some help finding a low cost spay/neuter so you can spay this little girl, feel free to PM me. I think I still have some of the websites linked, and even if I don't, I remember some of the areas that had them.

 

Personally, I think the puppy's a hell of a lot better off staying with you instead of being returned to the breeder. At $100 price tag and with the response the "breeder" gave your son about returning her, it doesn't sound like someone that should own dogs at all.

 

Thank you so much for the info...we live in Carroll (it's pretty rural) and we don't have any "Pit Bull" laws here. My kids have been taking her around, so she is getting socialized...my neighbor took her the other day so that I wouldn't have to crate her too long while I was at work, and my son's girlfriend is doing puppy day care today. She will be well handled and exposed to other animals when she finally is in her new home.

 

I had already decided that I wasn't going to give her up to anyone but a rescue or good home....that is all I was asking from the beginning. I agree, she would be better off staying with us.

 

I appreciate everyone that responded with helpful comments. I think that a friend of ours is going to take her...he just has to clear it with his wife...which would be great because we could see her again.

 

 

 

My only point, and last point to everyone else is maybe you should read this thread from beginning to end...all I asked for was advice about a rescue....not what I should do with my 19 year old adult son. I did not find it cute or funny or was even non-chalant about him bringing home this puppy....you don't know me or my family. Maybe I shouldn't have used the word "rude", but guess what, that's how it sounds when your type it out. I felt attacked, not "guilty" (as someone so nicely put it).... and your advice what to "do" with my son was unsolicited and unnecessary......not to mention all of the other nasty comments.....as far as me being sarcastic?, well like I said read this thread from beginning to end.

[Kyrasmom]

I have read this post from beginning to end, and not to belabor a point, but I truly feel that your reaction was defensive to what was some good advice regardless of whether or not you asked for it. This is a public forum and everyone's first concern is going to be not only this puppy, but possibly also educating a potential lurker who has been or may be in the same situation. It's not always and only about the original post.

 

For example, as I read your last post about socializing the puppy, my first reaction is not one of "great, they're getting the pup out and about" but that a 7 week old puppy who does not have a complete immune system is being exposed to other animals and environments. That's not necessarily being critical of what you're doing because perhaps you're taking all the proper precautions and the pup is only being exposed to properly vaccinated animals BUT someone else may think it's a good idea to give a 7 week old pup and extensive social experience and not consider their very young, and vulnerable, immune system.

 

And if at the risk of your son taking a few very gentle knocks on a message board which in no way will afftect his life helps someone else to make a better decision.....is it really so bad? Nobody responded to you with anything but a desire to help the pup.

 

Maria

[nowwown]

I am amazed at this thread. The OP was asking for advice, and got it. Her son's role is an integral part of the whole story for which she sought advice. Yet as soon as Julie and others even MENTIONED the son and his role, the OP gets defensive.

 

Life is not a vacuum. The puppy coming to you was the direct result of your son's behavior, not divine intervention.

 

And IMHO, as a mom/stepmom of FOUR kids, ages 12-21, I believe strongly that it takes a village to raise children. In this situation, the village that the OP sought out for advice is the BC Boards.

 

If one of my children or a neighbor's child or a niece or nephew acted irresponsibly related to my dog or any other animal, and I posted something on this board about the situation, I would 100% expect for posters to address not just the dog's plight but the child's bad behavior, and offer suggestions on what should change with that child's behavior.

 

Your son is not a BAD person; he made a bad judgement and seeking advice on the situation will get you commentary on all aspects of the situation, including your son's actions.

 

There are NO perfect children. NO perfect dogs. And certainly NO perfect parents.

[Guest WoobiesMom]

 

 

Oh thanks Kelly, now you've gone and made me pee my pants! Sheesh! Ask for a giggle and get a belly laugh!

 

To the OP- Take what helps, ignore the rest. (You'll probably be wanting to ignore what follows)

 

If you don't feel your son should be responsible for his actions, at a minimum forfeiting the $$ he wasted, then I would question your parenting skills. Not only should he forfeit the money but, as an ADULT, he should be COMPLETELY responsible for fixing the MESS he put this PUP in with HIS ACTIONS. It's nice of you to want to help, but that's a little enabling, IMHO. He's a big boy, let him put on his big boy pants and do what is best for the pup, not what's best for his wallet. He will learn more from handling this completely on his own then he will with your assistance. If Mommy makes it all better, the only thing he'll learn is to come to you every time he screws up.