Party at Home

[bexie]

I'm not sure what to do. My BF and I are getting married in September and we're having a small party here at home. I hadn't thought it would be a big deal with Molly but now I've got people saying we should dope her up for it. So I'm asking for recommendations here.

 

Molly will be about 10 1/2 months old then. She should have had some obedience training by then. We've never felt a need to crate train her, so she doesn't have a crate. Usually the kitchen is her territory but it is going to be a high traffic area that day with people going through to the bathroom and with food carried in and out and people making coffee. The party is in a tent in the yard. We don't have a fence on the yard. We had gotten an invisible fence but it quit working (AARGH!) and we can't figure out the problem (they're not easy to get over here so it isn't like we can easily get a new one). She doesn't have a run or anything either. Usually we have her with us or stake her out, but this is going to be a very different sort of event.

 

We'll have 16 guests plus the two of us. We cannot rely on all guests to greet her as at least one of them is dog shy I've now been told. Usually Molly settles down pretty well if people talk to her first, but now it turns out I can't rely on all doing that (I wanted to stake her out in the tent so she could just reach us but now we're getting a tent with a floor and it turns out my BF's SIL is dog-shy and we're going to have 6 square dancers as well [the other two are on the guest list]). And the caterers will also be delivering the buffet about the same time as guests start arriving.

 

So what's the best thing for Molly? I wanted to do the whole thing at home so she could be with and now people are saying it is cruel. I'm confused. It will be a hectic day. I want to try to get Molly down to the beach to burn off some energy and play a good bit of ball too (I am thinking of recruiting my dad to help with this some too. My 'rents are coming). What would you do if you were me? I am even considering if I should go out this week and buy her a crate, despite my BFs objections, so she could be in a crate in the tent or here in the house instead of drugging her. I hate the idea of drugging her. But we've never felt a need to crate train her before.

[Brandon M]

Well in my oppinion if you think there could be a problem then maybe you should get a crate and start crate training her. I've been to many parties where dogs didn't bother people. Its all about training. And if she isn't at the point where you can trust her at the party she should be in her crate since you have no other place to keep her. I dont think sedation is even remotely a good idea. Unless she is deathly afraid even inside the house or whatever of whats going on outside. If you dont feel the need to ever crate her, or have a real fence, then she sounds like a pretty calm normal dog to me. My dog gets hyper when people come over so I often will put him in his crate and he is calm and just waits to be let out. And when I let him out it's past the hyper stage.

 

Congrats on setting a date for your marriage! I hope it turns out great and wish you best of luck.

[bexie]

She isn't afraid--just excited. She wants to talk to people. She isn't perfect about not jumping on people yet. We've made a lot of progress. She knows she's supposed to sit, but she just can't keep it and tends to be too energetic and springy. (She'll try to sit then jump out of it then sit then spring then sit then spring....) We were thinking of jsut putting her in the living room, but she isn't used to being alone in there and with all the traffic in and out of the house, she is likely to go into guard dog mode and get barky and excited.

[mbc1963]

Hmmm...

 

Do you have friends the dog is familiar with, who could keep her at their house for the day? Crate training her just for this seems a lot of work, especially if you're not going to use the crate in the future. Although, part of me wishes my dog was crate-trained just FOR occasions like this.

 

I'm having my bathroom redone, so there have been men tracking through the house for 2.5 weeks. Rather than subject Buddy to the constant stress, or shutting him in the bedroom, I've just been taking him to my parents' house during the day. Calmer for him AND the workmen, who would otherwise be subjected to endless barking at every noise!

 

Good luck!

 

Mary

[Guest pax]

So your concern is that your dog may jump on people? It's not a noise or stress or timidity or aggression issue?

 

 

If your only concern is that she may jump on people, well, it's your wedding and if you've planned it around her being there. Can you have a dog babysitter? Someone whose only job is to keep her content on the day? Keep her on a flower bedecked leash and let her be a controlled part of the festivities? And if it gets too wild, retreat to your bedroom with her? (I say bedroom, I'm thinking a quiet part of your house.)

 

 

 

Heh. My first wedding I was out in the barn in my wedding dress showing people the horses. At my second wedding my chaos child took every item out of the lectern at the minister's feet until my friend Tony (who was part of the wedding party) picked her up, and let her ride on his shoulders. Yes, during the wedding.

 

It's your day. Do what YOU want.

 

 

Edited to add:

 

I was vehemently anti-crate for a LONG time until I got a dog who came to me crate trained and I saw how much she liked it. I think it's a good tool. It might not be a bad idea to find one and let it become her safe haven in the event you really, really need it.

[Root Beer]

I would approach this situation from a standpoint of implementing training and management. Train what you can in the time between now and then and manage what you can't. I would not, however, use sedation as management.

 

My first suggestion would be to start training her now. You have a whole month. You won't be able to train your dog to perfection in a month, but you can make a lot of progress in that time. Based on what you've said, I would crate train her (you never know in the future when that might be beneficial to you, even if you don't use the crate all the time), I would work on her social skills, and I would work on conditioning her to be OK in a room by herself. Again, you don't know when that will come in handy.

 

Would it be possible for you to get someone who is dog savvy to be in charge of her that day? Someone to maybe keep her on leash until all of the guests arrive and she is settled in. That would make any dog-skittish guests more comfortable. Someone to maybe remove her from the room when she is being inappropriate and let her back in for calm behavior. Someone to make sure she isn't getting tired or stressed and to remove her from the situation if she is.

 

Since it's your wedding party, I don't recommend that you try to do all of that yourself, but if there were someone you could trust and who could work with her a bit beforehand, it could be a good solution.

 

If something like that isn't possible and you couldn't confine her satisfactorally, I would try to find someone to watch her that day.

[Pat W.]

You could get an ex-pen if you dont want to crate, she can be in the tent in a corner where she can see all the goings on but not be under foot or crated for the whole day. In the house I would get a baby gate and gate off a bedroom. Either way make sure she has her toys, access to water, maybe a kong or two.

 

My dogs are part of my family, my sister just advised me that she would be getting married again and they decided they wanted to get married on the beach...they picked Florida so the whole family could attend...the majority of the family lives in Pa. vs. Bermuda. When we advised them that we would have to rent an RV to drive down with the dogs she was shocked and asked if we couldnt kennel them or leave them with a petsitter. My ans was a resounding NO, first the thought of kenneling 4 dogs for multiple days is financially a scary thought, plus 3 of them are high drive dogs they need to run at least an hour every day. Wont happen at a kennel, I feed raw- wont happen at a kennel, I have a 14 yr old dog-reguardless of whether I could afford to kennel or not he would come with us. What will more than likely happen is that I and the kids will fly down and my hubby Matt will stay home and work

[bexie]

The friends with whom we could trust Molly will be here. I don't care if Molly hops on my dress or makes noise. It might be annoying if she knocks over the table. But a friend and my BF were trying to tell me last night that it will be too stressful for Molly and I just don't see it. I can see her getting stressed out being left out of things. I can see sedating her being very hard on her system. I just don't believe in sedating a dog because she is inconvenient!!! If the problem were something scary--fireworks or something--I'd understand sedation, but not for a party. I think I'm going to put my foot down and go for either the X-pen or the crate idea, even though I am primarily against them and my BF is as well.

 

The living room will be quiet and we do have a baby gate, but will it be quiet enough when she can hear people going through the kitchen and talking? She'll want to be involved. She knows almost everyone coming. I want her with! The horses can't fit in the tent but she can!

 

Unfortunately we can't rely on the tent to remain closed because smokers need to go out to smoke and the bathroom is in the house. Also not everyone in attendance is dog smart and will think about what she is doing.

 

I think I will talk to my BF about the crate and look into that. I am sure crate training could have other advantages. She is already calm and well-behaved in the back of the car so a crate is just a bit smaller. Then maybe she can be out to be involved and greet people then come in while eating and while the square dancers are dancing (although she is fascinated by it and was very well behaved watching it once in town) and have her crate in the living room where it is quiet.

 

Thanks for the responses and for confirming my gut reaction that sedation was just wrong for this occasion.

 

Any suggestions on what training I should focus on beyond how to greet people and crate training? Also her recall in case she gets off the leash somehow (although I doubt she will go away from the people. She's so social).

 

Thanks everyone!

[Guest LJS1993]

Bexie, as that old song goes......... "It's your party you can have a BC if you want to, BC if you want, you would have a BC too if it happened to you!!!!!!"

[Lenajo]

But a friend and my BF were trying to tell me last night that it will be too stressful for Molly

 

Too stressful for her, or for BF and friend? I really think they are trying to hint that while you don't mind her being a happy puppy with guests, they do.

 

My advice is to crate train her - she needs to understand that anyway. She may still try whining and barking, so some dry runs to teach her that's not a rewardable behavior should be done.

[painted_ponies]

You said you stake her out sometimes - would that be an option for during the party? My brother and SIL brought her GSD Dylan to their wedding reception. Dylan had fancy gold sparklie netting tied in a pretty bow on her collar, and I think they just looped her lead around the base of one of the garden statues. If your dog is restrained, I don't see how your SIL could be frightened of her.

 

Anyway, it's your day and if you want your dog at the reception, then everybody else can just get over themselves.

[Tassie]

My first thought was ex-pen, like Pat W suggested. They're quite handy to have anyway. I would also encourage you to get Molly used to a crate anyway - soooo very handy to have a dog who loves going in crates (although mine go to extremes - they don't care whose crate it is - and don't always wait to make sure it's OK!

[MickeyDogs]

Here's info on crate training -> LINK . The x-pen idea is a fine one too as long as your dog wouldn't jump out (Oscar has in the past )

 

My dogs enjoy parties. The one worry I'd have is that your yard isn't fenced and your dog could slip out a door and get lost in the commotion.

 

Like the other said, start the training now and enjoy your day!

[NorthfieldNick]

It's your wedding. You will NOT want to be worrying about your dog. Trust me. My sister got married in my backyard last year- I coordinated the whole thing. Of course, it was open to the community, so we had 300 people, but still.

 

My dogs were crated- they slept the whole time. I'd come & let them out every few hours into the orchard, which is fenced & was away from the party. The other BC went to "Camp" at as friend's house because he's so high-stress in large groups. My sister's two dogs (one who is ancient) were loose in my house. My dogs are NOT trustworty loose...

 

Put Molly somewhere, anywhere, where she will be scure and you won't have to think about her. Trust me, unless she's carrying the ring (which my cousin's dog did), you will not want to be worrying about Molly on your wedding day.

 

I kept my sister's dogs overnight... I mean, it was their wedding night! They didn't need to worry about dogs barging in... LOL!