A question about re-homing dogs

[geonni banner]

So, I’ve been thinking about this since the subject came up tangentially in another thread.

 

I know a woman who had three dogs, a Pug named Pearl, a Chesapeake Bay Retriever named Bonnie and a German Shepherd Dog named Zander.

 

Zander is the oldest of the three and a rescue, adopted at the age of three. The Pug was a gift, and is the youngest. The Chessie is in the middle and was purchased from and AKC breeder who field trials and shows in conformation.

When Zander turned six or seven he began having serious allergy issues. My friend took him to the vet numerous times, put him on special food and still the allergies persisted. He ended up wearing this suit – it looked like a wetsuit – to prevent him from chewing on himself, and he was in and out of the suit for two or three years, and treated with various drugs including prednisone. During this time he also became anxious and nervous, and was very sensitive to tone of voice, becoming upset if he sensed disapproval.

 

From about the time he turned eight, my friend became rather disenchanted with Zander, and I noticed that her voice tended to take on a querulous tone when she spoke to/ about him. She was very annoyed with him when he showed anxiety about this tone of voice, and complained about it quite a bit. This feature of their relationship became more pronounced as time went on until the dog was in a perpetual state of unhappiness.

 

I advised her to re-home the dog, as he was a handsome, well-behaved fellow, and I felt that an owner could be found for him that would not take his sensitivity and special needs so personally. But she would not let him go, though she readily admitted that she was sick of him. She had two girls, aged 13 and 16, and she maintained that “the kids would miss him.”

 

Zander lived to be about 12 or 13 years of age, and was eventually put down when he began to have failing health. I could never understand why my friend refused to let him go. I felt that he deserved a chance to be with an owner that would make him feel loved and wanted.

 

Was I wrong in thinking she should re-home the dog? He was given good care as far as food, exercise and veterinary care were concerned, she never struck him and rarely yelled at him, but he knew that he was disliked, and he was miserable. Of course, my friend should have simply “gotten over” her annoyance with the dog and treated him with more love and kindness, but when it was clear that that would not be the case, then would not the best course for everyone have beeen to re-home the dog?

 

Sadly, the scenario is playing out again with her Chessie. The dog is in good health, and otherwise well cared for, but the same dynamic of anxiety and annoyance has developed between her and Bonnie. Interestingly, it has not happened with the Pug - even though the Pug has cost a fortune in vet bills, what with luxating patellas, etc. - but my friend is clearly just as besotted with the Pug as she was when it was a puppy, and there is no sign of the dynamic that occurred/ is occurring between her and the other two dogs.

 

Everyone understands that dogs sometimes need to be re-homed because of an owner’s financial situation or physical health changing. But what about the dog that is chronically unappreciated and unhappy?

 

I think that my friend is unable to let these dogs go because she feels guilty about giving them away. I have heard her be critical of others who re-homed their dogs for a variety of reasons. She cannot abandon them, and yet she does not want them. What do others think about a situation like this?

[rushdoggie]

I guess I am more concerned that she has now had 2 dogs that she no longer "likes." Kinda weird.

 

Is rehoming a dog wrong? I say no. If here's a reason why your home isn't the best place for a dog, and you can find a place where he fits more comfortably then everyone benefits.

 

Theres a huge difference between dumping a log in rescue or a shelter and knowing that you can't provide the right environment for that particular animal and finding him a place where he fits.

[jrid]

I believe you can love a dog but not like them a whole lot. I had a border collie bitch who made my other dogs lives miserable because she was so freaking hateful to them. She was great with me but snarky with my other dogs her whole life. She did not cause dogfights, she just broke up any activity the other dogs were enjoying. I loved her but I really did not like her alot of the time. She went to the bridge a few weeks ago and on the last day of her life she snarked one of my other dogs. I missed her for a couple of days, but my household is so much happier w/o her, I don't think I miss her anymore.

[Liz P]

I sold a dog that I didn't like. We never got along. We argued constantly when I worked her (she obeyed but her body language said that she did not agree with my commands). She had some habbits that drove me mad, like ramming her nose up, well, you know where. No amount of correction could fix it and she only did it when people's backs were turned. She hated my other dogs and constantly bullied them. Life was so much more pleasent after she left and I stopped missing her after a few months.

 

She was happy in her new home because there was mutual love and respect. I think that was a much kinder solution than keeping her for 12+ years in a relatioship that clearly wasn't working.

[Gloria Atwater]

I think that re-homing a dog from unhappy circumstances to happy ones is not a bad thing. If it best serves the dog's needs and well-being, if it relieves both the dog and the owner of an unpleasant and/or anti-productive association ... why not re-home?

Cheers ~

 

Gloria

[The Good Shepherd]

I agree to a point.

One local woman, she belong to a local Aussie Club, is trying to rehome a dog.

The dog has all her ASCA Novice Agility Titles, is really nice and superfast. BUT she has no herding instinct.

Her owner now wants to do herding! To me this is NOT a reason to rehome a dog! To me that amounts to throwing out a dog!

[geonni banner]

I agree to a point.

One local woman, she belong to a local Aussie Club, is trying to rehome a dog.

The dog has all her ASCA Novice Agility Titles, is really nice and superfast. BUT she has no herding instinct.

Her owner now wants to do herding! To me this is NOT a reason to rehome a dog! To me that amounts to throwing out a dog!

 

I agree that it amounts to throwing out a dog, but if that dog is going to be viewed as a burden - possibly even resented, I think it would be better to rehome it to a place where it will be loved and valued for itself, not for whether it can work stock, make it around an agility course in the desired interval, or simply "be like 'Old Spot' was."

Dogs know when they are no longer wanted or loved. It's a sad thing to see a dog trying to please an owner who has lost interest in it. Better to find a new home, and have a happy dog.

 

Too many people acquire dogs for frivolous or selfish reasons. Dogs get old, sick, "ugly" and have personalities. Adjustments must be made. But If the owner refuses to accept the consequences of the choice they made in picking a dog, they should me big enough to at least give the dog a shot at being wanted. And they should either choose more carefully the next time around, or find a self-gratifying hobby that doesn't involve living things.

[juliepoudrier]

Claudia,

I think you also have to consider what kind of life the dog would have if it stays in its current home. If the owner really wants to work stock and this particular dog won't work, then she's going to get another dog anyway. The time she spent training and putting agility titles on the first dog will now go to training and trialing the new dog. It's quite possible the original dog will get very little attention compared to what it used to get before the second herding dog came along. Would the original dog be happier in a home where someone will continue its agility training and trialing? The answer just might be yes.

 

This coming from someone who has 10 dogs because I can't bring myself to rehome any....

 

These thoughts are based on the assumption that the original dog is still young and has many good years ahead of it for someone else to train and trial. I feel differently about dogs of retirement age, especially working dogs. Personally I think that after they've given you their best years working and trialing, then they haved earned a right to retirement in the home they're used to. But a lot of other folks feel differently, and I think this is a case of different personalities and what an individual is comfortable doing WRT their own dogs.

 

J.

[The Good Shepherd]

Hi Julie

 

I know all about dogs and retirement.

My 7 year old GSD Kati is retired do to her health!

My hubbies 8 year old GSD is retired - again due to health ( he is almost completely blind)

My 9 year old rescue Spyder is semi retired due to his obsessive behavior

 

All my retired dogs enjoy living indoors, sleeping on the bed watching TV and eating icecream with me!

 

Would I EVER rehome them NOT in your life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

But then I am also glutton for it!

 

It has now taken me 3 years to put the first CD leg on the GSD Duke!

And Bandit to this day can not hold a "stand for exam"

 

But still this is NO reason to rehome them

[geonni banner]

These thoughts are based on the assumption that the original dog is still young and has many good years ahead of it for someone else to train and trial. I feel differently about dogs of retirement age, especially working dogs. Personally I think that after they've given you their best years working and trialing, then they haved earned a right to retirement in the home they're used to. But a lot of other folks feel differently, and I think this is a case of different personalities and what an individual is comfortable doing WRT their own dogs.

 

J.

 

 

Julie,

I agree that " they have earned a right to retirement in the home they're used to," but what if they are going to start being treated like an "ugly step-child"? I have known several dogs that, when they had reached "a certain age" were shoved out in the back yard, ignored and even resented. I don't think that an owner who would treat an aging dog like this deserves to have any dog - young or old. And while it would gall me to give that person an "out," I would rather counsel re-homing that see the dog live out its days feeling miserable and abandoned.

I would take the dog for placement, if I was able, but I would never place another dog or pup with them.

[juliepoudrier]

Let me be clear (I thought I was clear, but maybe not). I am *not* opposed to re-homing a dog, especially if the dog will be better served by going into a new home. I just could never bring *myself* to re-home *my own* dogs, which is why I used the word *personally*--I just don't feel comfortable that someone else would care for them as well as I do, and I know that's not necessarily rational thinking, but there you have it; they are my dogs and I want to make sure they are cared for in their twilight years the way *I* would care for them (I have two good friends who I think would treat my dogs as I would, but beyond that, you really just don't know how an animal will be treated once it's out of your control). I try not to judge others who do choose to rehome, though, and if the dog's best interests are being served, then that's what is most important. For myself, I make an effort to be sure my retirees get individual attention from me, and they are always included in group activities (unless they choose not to). But the very nature of the work is that the working dogs will get more attention. I think that as long as I am not completely slighting the retirees, they are happy staying here with me, in familiar surroundings among dogs they know and with a routine they know and a human who still loves them.

 

J.

[The Good Shepherd]

Since I travel a lot more in the Obedience/Rally crowd I can tell you there are people out there who get dogs, put title on them, and then give them away so that they can get another dog for more of the same! I know of one where "someone" put an OTCH on a 2 year old dog and promptly gave the dog away to get another dog to start over! The same "someone" now doing herding because she has no herding title!

[geonni banner]

Since I travel a lot more in the Obedience/Rally crowd I can tell you there are people out there who get dogs, put title on them, and then give them away so that they can get another dog for more of the same! I know of one where "someone" put an OTCH on a 2 year old dog and promptly gave the dog away to get another dog to start over! The same "someone" now doing herding because she has no herding title!

 

And these are the people that I object to. Why don't they get into bicycle racing or mountain climbing? Let them gratify their competitive streak and ego trip by buying the next, best, fastest equipment. Leave the dogs to someone who cares about the dog first, instead of the winning it can do. Julie has the right idea. Raise 'em, work 'em, and love 'em 'till they die. They deserve no less for all the joy they bring us.

[The Good Shepherd]

I think you hit it right on the head - Its mostly for their own ego, the dogs be dammed

What kind of live did a 2 year old OTCH dog have - I shudder to think!!!!!!!!

 

I watched her herding at the most recent AKC trial - it was not pretty. I call it herding by obedience!!!!!!

[juliepoudrier]

I watched her herding at the most recent AKC trial - it was not pretty. I call it herding by obedience!!!!!!

Well, that's largely what it is.

 

J.

[The Good Shepherd]

It was really pathetic! She looked like she was doing a heeling pattern in the arena. I actually felt bad for for the dog! And it was a Border Colie on top of that!!

[Liz P]

It was really pathetic! She looked like she was doing a heeling pattern in the arena. I actually felt bad for for the dog! And it was a Border Colie on top of that!!

 

 

The truly sad part is that some judges will penalize you if that isn't how your dogs work. So, if you enter with a good farm or (USBCHA) trial dog you don't stand a chance against the AKC herding followers.

[MicheleS.]

In the case that Geonni describes, I feel the dog should have been rehomed. Nothing sadder for me to imagine than a shepherd, who are typically devoted to the extreme, being shunned by someone he probably adored. How sad.

 

And I can't even imagine what the life of a 2 year old otch dog was like. Either that was some incredible dog or an incredible trainer (sorry but it sounds like the dog is pretty incredible). I also can't imagine that an owner of any otch dog could just simply rehome it after going through the journey of taking it to the otch level. My gosh, after that you're partners and have to have some kind of bond. What's wrong with some people

[Alchemist]

For an interesting perspective on rehoming a dog: you may find some of the recent entries on Patricia McConnell's blog of interest (see, especially, the Aug. 31 entry, as well as some of the "comments" made).

 

Situation in a nutshell: her 4-year-old Border collie, Willie, has alway been (from the time he was an 8-week-old puppy) reactive toward other dogs. She could have returned him immediately to his breeder, but chose to work with him. Although she concedes he's never going to be the "dog park" kind of dog, she did accomplish an incredible amount with him, to the point where he was happy to play with many (but perhaps not all) other dogs.

 

This past winter, her older Border collie, Lassie, passed away. Willie seemed to be pining, missing his playmate. As he seemed to play best with smaller, younger dogs, she got a puppy, from strong working lines (in hopes, also, that she'd be able to train it to work her sheep). The first puppy almost immediately started displaying behavior that seemed to make Willie nervous, so she exchanged it after the first weekend for a second pup from the same litter, which she named Hope. All seemed well (for the most part) until Hope hit adolescence (just before six months of age), at which point he developed "juvenile onset shyness".

 

What happened from here is that Hope and Will were bringing out the worst in each other. Every time Hope got frightened of some strange object or sound, Will lost confidence; and faced with an unconfident older "leader", Hope became even more shy. Within a short period of time, Will regressed considerably. Both dogs were miserable.

 

Anyway, she devoted several posts to the issues she was struggling with, and to the question of whether she should rehome Hope. She's rehomed all of two dogs in 25 years. Here's how she describes how she makes that decision:

 

"Here’s my criteria for doing so that I shared with clients for over 22 years: the new home has to be better than the home the dog is in now. Period. Pure and simple." (Emphasis added by me).

 

In my opinion, it takes a lot of courage for someone in her position to blog about these sorts of decisions. The easier route would have been either to never write about her own dogs (sweeping problems under a convenient rug), or to stick it out and pretend everything was perfect. Personally I admire her for seeking out what was best for both dogs. If you follow her blogs, it was a heart-wrenching decision for her, but it seems to have worked well for both dogs.

 

I think hers is not a bad criterion. As for me - I'll always strive to make my home the best I possibly can for any of my dogs. I can't imagine giving up a dog (a family member) just because it no longer fits my image of what I want of a dog. (I ask, would this give my kids license to dump me in a nursing home and throw away the key when I get old and batty?). But if you end up in a situation where things just aren't working for one of your dogs, for whatever reason, and a better situation does emerge, I think hers is not a bad criterion for rehoming the dog.

[Maralynn]

"Here’s my criteria for doing so that I shared with clients for over 22 years: the new home has to be better than the home the dog is in now. Period. Pure and simple."

 

I would agree with that 110%

 

At times I've thought about what my criteria might be if say I had some tragic accident that left me crippled and couldn't get out and do much with my dogs. I know with certainty that Missy wants to be with me. Period. The other two? It would depend on a few different things - they are quite fond of me but I could also see them being quite happy with someone else in the right situation.

 

I don't have an issue with working dogs getting rehomed/sold if they are going into a place where they can work and feel fulfilled and be well taken care of. Or if a person needed a working dog and the current dog was not able to handle the job. But a 2 y/o OTCH just so you can focus on another dog? Hello? you've got to be kidding me. That's just feeding the owners ego with little regard for the dog that made it possible. But the sad reality is that dog is probably better off going to another home.

[Gloria Atwater]

I agree to a point.

One local woman, she belong to a local Aussie Club, is trying to rehome a dog.

The dog has all her ASCA Novice Agility Titles, is really nice and superfast. BUT she has no herding instinct.

Her owner now wants to do herding! To me this is NOT a reason to rehome a dog! To me that amounts to throwing out a dog!

 

 

I agree. I see discussion following your post and yeah, if someone wants to be competitive, get a darned mountain bike! Yet if the alternative is that dog is cast aside, consigned to a kennel and a life of loveless benign neglect ... then in the interests of the dog's happiness, maybe it *should* go to a new, loving home.

 

But I do find this mindset despicable.

Cheers ~

 

Gloria

[Gloria Atwater]

Let me be clear (I thought I was clear, but maybe not). I am *not* opposed to re-homing a dog, especially if the dog will be better served by going into a new home. I just could never bring *myself* to re-home *my own* dogs, which is why I used the word *personally*--I just don't feel comfortable that someone else would care for them as well as I do, and I know that's not necessarily rational thinking, but there you have it; they are my dogs and I want to make sure they are cared for in their twilight years the way *I* would care for them (I have two good friends who I think would treat my dogs as I would, but beyond that, you really just don't know how an animal will be treated once it's out of your control). I try not to judge others who do choose to rehome, though, and if the dog's best interests are being served, then that's what is most important. For myself, I make an effort to be sure my retirees get individual attention from me, and they are always included in group activities (unless they choose not to). But the very nature of the work is that the working dogs will get more attention. I think that as long as I am not completely slighting the retirees, they are happy staying here with me, in familiar surroundings among dogs they know and with a routine they know and a human who still loves them.

 

J.

 

 

I'm with you, Julie. Our house has been full of retirees for several years now. We had my old BC girl, Rose, with hip dysplasia who was retired at age five. She lived with us, loved and pampered, until lymphoma took her at age 11. After she passed, we still had two Aussie/BC sisters, our retired cow dogs, who took up floor space until they died of old age.

 

At present, we have our 11 year old corgi mix and my 11-1/2 year old BC, Jesse, still occupying our home and hearts. (I ran Jesse in what may be his last AHBA ranch trial this weekend: physically he's in great shape, but he's going steadily deaf.)

 

So our three youngsters, my Gael and Nick plus hubby's now-4-month-old Aussie are taking up our training time, but the old farts still get their full ration of love and attention. There's no way I'd get rid of them, and hubby has often said that we'd live in a tent in the desert rather than give up our dogs. Even the old and goofy ones.

Cheers ~

 

Gloria

[geonni banner]

I think one thing that people have in their minds is, "Oh, my dog could never be happy with anyone but me - he/ she would never adjust." It's a fondly held fantasy. In 12 years of Collie rescue I handled a couple hundred dogs. More than a few came from happy homes that for some reason were forced to give up a pet that was loved and wanted. Not one of these dogs ever pined away or had more than a little trouble making the transition to a new home. In fact, those that came from happy homes made the smoothest transitions - they had the courage and solid temperaments of well socialized and well-loved dogs. Yes, they would have a period of adjustment - but they did not mope, get depressed or refuse their food. In ten days they would be "up an' at 'em."

 

I think Patricia Mc Connell is right. You must choose what it best for the dog. Dogs should be able to live out their old age in the homes where they grew up and are happy. That is best. But sometimes things don't work out that way. People, situations and dogs change. You may love your dog very much and still need to rehome it. And whether you believe it or not, the dog will probably get on splendidly in a new home that is chosen with care.

 

18 months ago I rehomed a dog, a Lurcher, of 7 years. She was a good dog, and I loved her. But in spite of that we were never very close. She had some friends at the dog park that had three Lurchers and a whippet. Gracie would just light up when she was with them. They got wind of my health and financial situation which was pretty grim at that time, and asked to adopt her. I worked with them for several weeks to make a smooth transition for Grace. I wept when she left for the last time. But her life is so much better with her new owners. She's a different dog. She had been sliding quietly into sedate old age, and she has become young again. She is always pleased to see me when we meet, but there is no doubt where her loyalties lie. She is happy and well. That is what matters.

[PSmitty]

I do believe that it's sometimes in the dog's best interest to be re-homed, if it's really not a good fit for either human or dog. For me, it is only about what's best for the dog, and if it would be better off in a home where it got more love, attention, work, or pack-mates that got along better, whatever the case may be.

 

I will never understand the type of people who give away their retirees to make room for the next young, big thing, though. That makes me kinda sick.

[Laura L]

<<I will never understand the type of people who give away their retirees to make room for the next young, big thing, though. That makes me kinda sick.>>

 

I can understand the situation when an older working dog is given/sold to an up and coming handler who can benefit from the dog's experience. I did find a home for a middle aged experienced dog. He went to someone who had a young dog but not much experience and it was a great match. I'm happy that I did it, she was happy that I did it and the dog was also happy (happier than he was when I had him). But having said that, I have 2 retired elderly dogs and one elderly rescue and none of them will be rehomed. It depends on the dog and the situation.

Laura