What now? (was: my bc died)

[Meg's mum]

Speaking from the experience of my life, I can say that necessary mourning is vastly helped by making an emotional bargain or plan if you prefer.

 

Spend time walking and talking together and recognize your need to honor and recover. Give your self a period of time like a season or more. Recognize your need to re-engage but with some remove (work for a rescue in whatever capacity you can involving as much of the family as you can). Put your son's growing up (sports, extra curricular activities, college) into the plan when you talk about adding another family member, and then when you're ready start your search - unless of course someone falls into your lap and adopts you.

 

Without a plan, it may be a decade. Too soon and you may not have made enough room in your heart for the newcomer. I've done both, and planning seemed the better course.

 

The funny thin about Border Collies is that they seem to ruin you for a contented life without them. Best of luck to all of you.

[Leigha]

When we lost our dog well all three that we have lost over the 6 years we have gone out and gotten another. Usually we get the ugly old not a chance in hell gonna get adopted type from the pound. Thats just the type of person I am and have always been. It works for me...and my 4 year old son seems to be the same way. When he lost his dog he was sad for a few days then asked for another dog. We were going to get a different breed but he wanted the same breed so off we went. Just thought I would tell you what I did.

[Hector]

I have been thinking about you and Pappy. It must be very difficult to lose a seemingly healthy young dog to a totally unexpected death. My heart goes out to you.

 

I got started late in life as a dog owner (age 49 when I got my first dog Pattycake). Pattycake was my loyal friend and companion for almost 13 years. I knew she was getting older but I expected another year or two with her. Then one evening she had a stroke and I decided to have her put down the next day. That was probably the hardest day of my life.

 

I don't think there is ever an easy time to part with a beloved fur-friend. The only way for a person to avoid that feeling of deep loss would be to never have a canine companion in the first place. Having lived without any fur-friends for 49 years and then discovering how great they are, I know that the best answer for me is to enjoy the time I have with my furry friends, while understanding that nothing in life is permanent.

 

Five days after Pattycake's departure I went to a local rescue group. I didn't know this until I arrived at their shelter but they had a litter of puppies available for adoption. One of those pups caught my attention, and he kind of "chose me" too. So I adopted him right then.

 

I knew that I couldn't replace Pattycake, but I knew that I loved dogs because they are such wonderful companions. Getting Bailey at age 8-weeks occupied my time and attention and he very quickly became a much loved member of our family.

 

It took me a year to get over being teary-eyed when I thought about Pattycake, but meanwhile I was very glad to have a new canine companion. I didn't find that dealing with the loss of Pattycake was mutually exclusive to having a new fur-friend. But I guess we all have to deal with our feelings in the way that best suits us.

[AWQH]

Good morning. As a mom of 6 human children and 4 dog children, we've been through the emotional wringer a few times. We believe in waiting a little while before trying to find a new addition to the family. Obviously, we do have other dogs, which helps.

 

1 mistake that I wanted to mention, that can happen is this. If there is a dog who looks amazingly like your deceased friend, you tend to want to adopt/buy it right away. I have seen that this does not usually work out. Just because this new dog looks like you lost loved one, doesn't mean he/she will be alike in personality.

 

Collin and Dianne

Chopper (lab/chow/beagle)

Hondo (BC)

Riata (catahoula or leopard cat)

Tango (BC)