Nervousness

[mjgrant]

My border collie, Kenzie, is almost a year and a half and has terrible Nervous Issues. She is nervous around new people and won't go near them. She gets really nervous when we are walking alongside a busy street (cars and people). But generally it is mainly around new people that she gets super nervous. She is not nervous around dogs at all. She is usually good with the owners of the dogs as well, as long as the dogs are near.

 

I have been socializing her since she was a puppy, but it doesn't seem to be really helping.

 

Do you guys have any advice on what I can do to help her through this?

Thanks!

[G. Festerling]

One of mine is a bit that way. She settles in nicely but does not just love everyone straight up. But since she is not at all aggressive, I just don't worry about it. She gets to meet them at her time. I have found socializing not to make much of a difference at all. Although I admit that I don't make it my life's mission either.

 

But I am not sure I would call her nervous either. She just does not need strangers. Unless they will pitch a stick or kick the ball....then it is negotiable!

[Camden's Mom]

I had the same thoughts at G. Festerling... maybe she just isn't that into meeting new people. Honestly, there are times I wish I had that "problem" with mine...

 

You specifically described her as "nervous" but can you give us more details? Other then not readily going up to meet new people, what is she doing? Is she shaking, trying to flee, peeing, growling? It might help us understand her situation a bit better if you can give us an idea of her reaction to strangers.

[Shetlander]

My first Sheltie, Rory, was morbidly shy from the day I brought him home. I also did lots of socializing. You really need to go at your dog's pace, with a careful balance of patience and persistence. You don't want to overface her, but you do need to give gentle encouragement and nudges. Expect and accept bad days and what feels like backsliding.

 

Look for activities that your dog really enjoys. In addition to having fun, those activities can also build confidence in a shy dog. Agility was one of the best things I ever did for Rory. The other great thing for him was getting a female Sheltie puppy when he was a little over a year. Rory was too nervous to play with other dogs but with "his" puppy, he had a playmate and boon companion. I wasn't doing clicker training at that time, but if I had another shy dog, I would definitely do a lot of that.

 

It is important to know your girl's cues, recognize what works for her and what makes things worse. For instance, I had to tell people not to slowly approach Rory like he was a bomb about to detonate. It just made him more alarmed, as did people who crouched low to get to his level. Strangers ignoring him helped him relax. Every dog is different, but they do let you know their preferences.

 

Rory made take ton of progress in his short life (he didn't quite make it to 7), but he was never your normal, average dog. My mantra was "He'll always be who he is." And who he was turned out to be a very cool, sweet, dignified dog with a courage all his own. Rory had many admirers, but he remained at heart a shy dog. The two of us, through trial and error, found a way for him to thrive and shine. His successes were all the sweeter for the struggles involved.

 

Shy dogs take more effort, patience and care than outgoing dogs. They can be frustrating and discouraging, but watching them gain confidence and trust is incredibly rewarding. And the bond you build with a shy dog can be truly remarkable.

[Gloria Atwater]

I would also like to know more about what she's doing that is "nervous," so that we can better think how to help you.

My girl, Gael, was very shy and anxious about strangers up until she was about 2-1/2 years old. She got the very same socialization and training as her older brother, went to sheepdog trails and feed stores and Home Depot and the works. However, she was just not comfortable in busy, noisy situations or among a lot of people.

At age 4, Gael is still not nuts about any of it, but she's come a long way. Some dogs just aren't social with new people or busy situations. Sometimes all you can do is continue working with them and let time take its course. Make sure you are supporting her when she's worried and allow her the chance to retreat if she's overwhelmed. Never force or urge her into a situation that makes her nervous or worried, Back her up, help her out, but never push her past her threshold.

She will change as she matures and by the time she's 3, she should be more settled. But she may never be a social butterfly. Not all border collie are. It's just the way their minds are wired. Hope this helps!

~ Gloria

[mjgrant]

When we go for walks, she will get nervous when people are walking up to us on the same side of the street. She will want to get away from them (pulls off to the side) and she tucks her tail.

 

When she meets new people at the house, she will usually hide behind the couch and not come out until they have left the room. After a while she may come out and start "observing" the strangers. She does eventually warm up to most people and stop hiding.

 

Gloria, Kenzie sounds an awful lot like Gael. She does not like going to stores, I am assuming, because of all of the hustle and bustle of the people.

[bcnewe2]

^{I think some dogs just have a more high strung personality. My Faye whom I didn't get till 4 months old is one I would call nervous or high strung. I see it in certain people too. I don't hold it as one of her faults, just a personality trait.}

^{I also don't expect her to go out and meet tons of new people. She doesn't need to in order for us to be good. Some people she likes and some she doesn't care to be around. When she likes you she's all squiggly, still high strung. Again just her personality.}

^{If she doesn't like you, she just never moves into your area. I don't push her except to like my sister who loves her and from day one Faye just doesn't like her. Go figure.}

[Gloria Atwater]

When we go for walks, she will get nervous when people are walking up to us on the same side of the street. She will want to get away from them (pulls off to the side) and she tucks her tail.

 

When she meets new people at the house, she will usually hide behind the couch and not come out until they have left the room. After a while she may come out and start "observing" the strangers. She does eventually warm up to most people and stop hiding.

 

Gloria, Kenzie sounds an awful lot like Gael. She does not like going to stores, I am assuming, because of all of the hustle and bustle of the people.

 

 

I'd say the best thing you can do is just take time, be patient and help her along. Don't ask her to do anything that's too much for her, don't let anyone else accidentally force her past her threshold of tolerance. If you take time with her, she'll continue to grow. If she does eventually warm up to people, then letting her set her own pace is possibly the best course.

 

Gael surprised me today by sidling right up to a total stranger for pets, and sitting there gazing up in adoration. Granted, she's 4 now, but seeing her go from the growly, cringing scaredy-cat to a sweet shmooze was worth the wait.

 

~ Gloria