When a dog doesn't like its housemate...suggestions?

[Urban Borders]

Sigh. Only issue is that behaviorists have said that it may take 3 months or longer to see any improvement (even if I try meds, it takes 4-6 weeks for them to exert an effect). I've had Obs since she was a puppy, but because of her own issues (she never stopped moving and would eat things...like walls and floors and anything she basically got her mouth on), she was crated whenever I wasn't there or was sleeping. I always tried to pay attention to Mer preferentially when they were together, not because of dominance nonsense, but because I could see that Obs made her feel stressed.

 

But I HAVE been trying to have Obs out more, and I have noticed that the more I have her out, especially since she had her first heat, the more nervou Mer is. Actually, now that I think about it, that is interesting. Mer started getting really bad after Obs had her first heat. And the dogs that she is most nervous around in general are intact ones (usually males). I can't go back to keeping them separated all the time, that just isn't fair to Obs (although she tolerates it). I hate this.

[GentleLake]

I'm truly not envious of your situation. It has to be heartbreaking.

 

Wishing you the best in figuring out what to do.

[Liz P]

It is, unfortunately, very common for relationships between dogs to deteriorate once puberty starts.

 

Ultimately the decision about what is right for your dogs lies solely with you. Do what you feel is best for their welfare. We can only offer advice about our experiences.

 

I've been in the situation of one dog causing stress in my pack twice (they were bullying the other dogs). Both times I ultimately decided it was best to place the trouble maker. I don't regret my decisions, though at the time it was very painful.

[Gloria Atwater]

My heart also aches for you. What a miserable, bitter, untenable situation to be in. You love both dogs with all your heart, but they can't love each other.

If you've had Obs this long, however, and Mer continues to deteriorate, I can only say again: you risk doing Mer permanent harm, if it hasn't already happened. Please don't wait months. It's a sentence Mer does not deserve and from which she cannot escape. If you can't keep them separated and Obs' reaching maturity has triggered even increasing problems for Mer, what are you doing to Mer?

I can only imagine how painful this must be for you. But try to think how painful this is for your faithful Mer. You need to make a decision and I think the sooner it is, the better it will be for all concerned. Do it before Mer deteriorates further and while Obs is still young enough to bond readily to a new family.

I am so sorry. But I wish fairness and peace for poor Mer, most of all. Think of her, before you think of your own heat.
Wishing you well,

~ Gloria

[Urban Borders]

Hi guys: Just wanted to give you all an update, in case what we've been going thru helps anyone. We're not in a perfect place by a long shot, but have had some improvement. I realized one other change that had happened in Mer's life in the past year was that I started taking her to the office with me, where she did encounter other dogs in the hallways and spent time in a crate under my desk. She isn't a fan of being crated, and sometimes it seems as though she gets overstimulated when in a busy environment (like a little kid, or an introverted person). So I started leaving her at home most of the time, where she does not need to be kennelled (and where Obi has a very large VariKennel). I also walk the two dogs out separately, as we often encounter other dogs in our apartment building when exiting/entering (all of the other dogs are dog reactive, and Obi would usually give one little woof and set Mer off on a paroxysm of woofing).

 

Things seem to be going better with Mer's anxiety level. She is still nervous about other dogs, but seems to be less likely to react. We've gone to one trial, which admittedly was small, and she did great at coming and getting her leash on before exiting the ring (which we have also worked on rigorously in practice). Our big test will be a much larger trial this weekend, in which she and Obs are entered for only a few runs each. I think it will be very important to not walk them together, as Mer very much feeds off of Obi's arousal and anxiety. Also going to get a root canal done, as her one canine has become discoloured recently (don't want pain to make her less tolerant). And I also recently put Obs on medication, because her hyperness in the house seemed to have plateaued; she is like a different dog on it, still likes to run and play but is not manically searching for something to do all the time. It's early days yet, but I have my fingers crossed that things keep moving in a better direction.

 

Thanks again for all your help.