Helping Rudder remember DH after deployment?

[Jexa]

OK, time to get creative! I need advice - my husband deployed when Rudder was about 7 months old, and is worried when he comes back that Rudder not only won't remember him, but will be scared of him at first. Though he understands, it would completely break DH's heart; he's pretty sensitive and absolutely adores Rudder and vice versa, but Rudder is still working through being scared of strangers. Rudder is making great progress with new people and will likely be over most of his fear by the time DH gets back, but it would be wonderful if Rudder actually remembered him and greeted him with his usual enthusiasm.

 

 

Any ideas? We rarely get to video skype and when we do the quality is spotty at best. Would having him send things back that smell like him help at all? I realize there's not a lot we can do, but I'm going to try!

[Sue R]

What I would advise is for your DH (Thank you for your service!) to ignore Rudder until and unless Rudder approaches him first. That will give Rudder a chance to remember (which he very well may) and/or get over being worried about not knowing who this person is and why is everyone so excited.

 

I find it quite amazing how animals can remember those that were close to them, even when quite a bit of time has passed. In this case, I'd advise DH to "ignore, ignore, ignore" and give Rudder the chance to figure things out, since he was quite the youngster when your hubby left for his tour of duty.

 

Many shy, reserved, or anxious dogs do much better when they are ignored until they initiate a greeting. It will be hard for your husband but I think it will probably work very well if Rudder is concerned.

 

Very, very best wishes!

[urge to herd]

Thanks to your DH for what he is doing for all of us!

 

Sue's advice is right on. Ignore, and don't be surprised if Rudder at first doesn't recognize DH, and then goes nuts with joy.

 

I adopted one of 2 siblings that had been in foster care for a year at least. When I would visit Shoshone, I'd pet Kip and play with him a bit. I also went to visit him at his second foster home a few times.

 

He'd been in his own real home for about 6 months when I went to visit. I wasn't sure he'd remember me, but Kip acted like I was Santa Claus AND had a winning lottery ticket for him. He was ecstatic to see me again. Kippy was very happy in his new home, but he remembered me just fine.

 

It might make DH feel better if he can send home a sweaty t-shirt or towel that Rudder can sniff and/or sleep with. Some digital recordings of DH's voice might help, too.

 

Let us know how it goes. When is DH expected home?

 

Ruth and Agent Gibbs

[Sue R]

It might make DH feel better if he can send home a sweaty t-shirt or towel that Rudder can sniff and/or sleep with.

Never underestimate the power of scent! This is a great idea, Ruth!

 

The first time I flew with Dan to California, I put a worn fleece of mine in the airline crate, and I think it made a big difference in letting him realize I wasn't deserting him. My Dad once lost a dog when he stopped along a deserted road and took off without her. He returned to put a sweater there and, sure enough, she was found with it. Stories of this sort are common, and it's a great idea to suggest in this case.

[waffles]

He will probably remember him. I know you have been working with him on his fear of strangers but I have gone a year in the past without seeing a dog I knew well and he definitely went nuts when he saw me. Let Rudder go up to him first and I am sure through sent, he will remember him.

 

Wasn't there just a story about a Pit Bull who went missing for 8 years or something and when found (through a microchip ) and reunited with his 1st owners, he went nuts. Dogs are amazing.

[Jexa]

Thanks for the advice!

 

 

Sue- that's exactly what we've been using to work on Rudder's stranger issues, and we've talked that he might have to do that when he gets back. We're also planning on bringing Rudder to meet him at the airport (as an aside, does anyone know most airport's stance on dogs in the terminal?), or basically somewhere besides home since Rudder is more sensitive there.

 

Ruth- I was thinking about having him send back a shirt or something, but didn't know if that was slightly crazy We will definitely try that too!

 

 

 

I hope he remembers him...Rudder goes absolutely nuts when he sees someone he hasn't seen in a while- non stop whining, wiggling, nub going berserk, running circles around them, the works. His self-proclaimed "aunts" at the barn get this treatment if he hasn't seen them in a couple weeks. I hope DH gets it when he gets back he gets it too.

[Sue R]

I have had a dog or two dogs at several airports and never had an issue with being told they shouldn't be there. BUT, an airport is full of excitement, anxiety, strange scents and sounds, noises, carts, strange people. I would not choose to bring him there at this stage in his life for an event like this. If he were a confident dog without issues with strangers, it might be very touching but I'd choose to leave him home and do the re-introduction there, or on neutral ground near home (like off your property but in a familiar or calm place).

 

I'm trying to think of what would pose the least stress for all concerned but especially Rudder.

 

Very best wishes!

[Jexa]

True most airports are very loud- I should've clarified that he flew out of a small regional airport that is usually mostly deserted, and would only bring Rudder if he flew back in to the same airport. At any given time there's about 5 people there

 

It still would be new to him however, so I'll look for a better place. Heck I think our front lawn would be a lot better than in the house. We joke that Rudder is like Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory- "people can't be in my house"

[Cody & Duchess]

I also want to thank you for your service ( as well as your husband) I know those left at home have a heavy burden to bear. My dog - Gracie - gets a visit about once a year from the gentleman (an real angel) who saved her from being put down. Gracie knew him from the shelter she was kept at - he worked at training her and played with her. Every year Gracie recognizes him and is over the top excited. I also think a tee shirt with your husband's smells helps.

 

Don't be surprised if after your DH is there about 10 minutes that your dog pouts. My dogs have a little attitude if they have been left for more than a day. Like - okay, I know that you are here now and I am happy, but I am going to pout to show you I am mad that you went away. They always get over it within the hour.

 

Get a video of the home coming - it will bring you smiles for years to come.

[Lewie'sMom]

I doubt that Rudder will forget your husband. However, if you're very concerned, you could give him something with your husband's scent on it, like an old tee shirt to have in his crate, bed, wherever.

 

My guess is that in the unlikely event that Rudder does forget him, just sensing your emotions when he comes home will be enough for him to accept him back without hesitation.

 

Hugs to you and your hubby for your sacrifice.

 

edit: Oh, duh! I just read your post again and see that hubby is already deployed. I thought he was getting ready to go. I still think the scent thing will help.

[Jexa]

Just hearing examples of these dogs remembering people after a long time definitely helps!

[Pam Wolf]

We kept 2 Aussies for a friend while he was deployed. Both were older dogs. We raised a BC pup for him also while he was gone (the pup was born while he was deployed). The two older dogs remembered him within a few minutes and the BC took a bit longer, only having seen him for a short time when he came back to the States for a week. But now she is VERY attached to him. Much depends on the bond he had with the dog before he left.