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Seeking advice from fosterers


sluj
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Hi,

 

I'm fostering for the first time (a mixed non-BC, but wonderful nonetheless). Logically, there are many reasons why it makes more sense to foster than adopt, but i'm getting awfully attached. My boyfriend keeps making excuses for why she shouldn't be adopted yet, whenever someone calls about her, and I half agree with him. Hope some other fosterers could share their thoughts or stories on this (even if you kept them, 'cause I'm dying for some more Skittles pics). Thanks!

 

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I think of my self as a buffer between what was bad(a shelter, etc.) and what will be great. As long as the girls are here, I can't take any more in, except in extreme emergency. I love these girls, but I want them to go on to a home where they will be loved and cherished. And I can take in another dog, and work with it to get it to the point where it can go to its forever home. Sometimes a dog will come along that just simply steals your heart, and you keep it. But if EVERY dog you get, you get that attached to that you can't let it go, you aren't doing rescue work, you're collecting! I love these girls, but they aren't mine, they have someone out there that will need them, as much as they need them.

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Someone described forstering to me as "Remember your taking care of someone else's dog. You just don't know who that is yet." We are taking care of our first foster dog. It kind of feels like watching the neighbor's or relatives dog while they are on vacation. You can have enjoy their company, but when vacation is over its time to go home...and teach a few doggie manners along the way.

 

mobcmom

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There are always going to be temptations when you're fostering. Always going to be dogs that just really click. And no one can ever tell you when that's a click that you should listen to and keep the dog or let it go. That's just something you have to trust your gut on.

 

I suppose that I've technically failed at fostering once, since Pith started out as a foster...just for the vet as opposed to a rescue. And technically I didn't fail. It was my ex-boyfriend. :rolleyes: Pith just ended up really being my dog, no doubt about it. I've never had the same attachment or connection with another dog.

 

There have been plenty of fosters that I could have seen staying and fitting in well here. However, I'd say there have really only been two that I was truly tempted to keep. Both dogs came very close to staying. Each time in the end, though, just about at the point where I was going to decide that way, great applications came in for them. And having seen and heard how they are with their new owners, they definitely went to where they were supposed to go. They would have been happy here, but they are perfect where they went. So...I'm kind of at the point where I think that if one is meant to stay, it will stay. If they're not, the right home will come along to tell me otherwise. Letting go can be really hard, but if you think it's the right thing for the dog, it'll be a lot easier.

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Until you've done your first adoption, it's hard to imagine the genuinely awesome feeling of giving a dog their new person and giving a person their new dog. Truly, once you see a match made, it's like an addiction that you want to keep doing again and again. For me, that was part of what made it a little less hard to let them each go and easier to take in the next one.

 

We were very lucky in the placements we did and none were ever returned (though we would have taken almost all of them back in a heartbeat). It also helped us that the first dog we fostered was the one we would have been the least likely to keep since he was a pit bull mix who wanted to eat our cats rather than a border collie mix. We still loved him and were overjoyed at his placement (where he is now a completely pampered only dog with a single young man as his person).

 

In the end, you really have to ask yourself. Is this foster *your* dog (and how do you know) or are you keeping her for someone who is looking for her.

 

It's never particularly easy, but it is very rewarding at every stage of the process, I think

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I was truly surprised at how spectacularly I "failed" at fostering my first BC. That would be Faith, pictured in my avatar at left. :rolleyes:

 

In my misspent youth, I was a handler at ACK shows and had client's dogs come and go all the time. Some I was happier to see the last of than others, but I never missed one of them after they left. I thought foster would be the same. And it might have been had I started with an adult dog, or one that didn't require intensive nursing care for the first couple of weeks. But Faith had only been at my house about a week when I knew she wasn't going anywhere.

 

My decision might have been different, though, if I hadn't already had the idea of another BC in the back of my mind. And given how soft Violet is, a female puppy was really the best candidate for successful integration into my household.

 

No law says you have to give them up, y'know. :D

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I have my share of foster failures that my husband would not let me place (under threat of divorce) but the single best motivation to place them is knowing that you can save another. It doesn't mean that you have to place them all but you need to be able to distinguish between what is a decision made me a tender loving heart (not saying it's wrong) and what is a decision made because this dog really is perfect for your home and would have been even if you weren't fostering.

 

But remember, if you fill your home with dogs and can't foster anymore, others can't be helped.

 

Maria

 

PS: There's also great fun in keeping in touch with the new owners, getting pictures, and knowing that a dog you've placed is in a great place!

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Thank you all for your advice. I think

 

Until you've done your first adoption, it's hard to imagine the genuinely awesome feeling of giving a dog their new person and giving a person their new dog. Truly, once you see a match made, it's like an addiction that you want to keep doing again and again. For me, that was part of what made it a little less hard to let them each go and easier to take in the next one.

 

was exactly what I needed to hear. The couple who are looking at her now actually seem to be a great fit (well, I only met half of them, but Allie loved their current dog). I'm sure I'm getting overly sentimental about her as I haven't had a dog of my own in so long, that and how fond my non-dog-person boyfriend is of her. It also helps to remind myself of how many other dogs need help, since that's the main reason I got into this! Once again, thank you all for taking the time to reply.

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