Northof49 Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 Hi everyone - here is an inquiry I have received on our rescue dogs, and can't seem to get my head around drafting a reply without sounding rather rude, etc. Any help would be appreciated. :confused: They have three children altogether - ages 3, 11 and 13. Husband - holistic doctor/life coach Wife - Child Psychologist. Hi, we are looking for a border collie to herd our children and cats. We are moving to an acreage this month. Our 11 year old son, has been asking for a dog for years and we always said, only on an acreage where the dog has room to run. Well, the time has come. We need a dog who has either grown up with cats, young enough to grow up or is comfortable with cats (won't seem them as prey to herd and kill), gentle with children (our youngest is 3) and is trained but still precocious and playful. We also have 3 cats who are both indoor/outdoor cats. would one of your dogs fit the bill? Sex doesn't matter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSnappy Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 I answer these emails all the time. There is nothing rude about responding with fact (dogs do not herd kids and cats in a healthy way, a major percentage of the dogs we get in rescue are here for biting children, dogs are the responsibility of parents, not chlildren, and acreage alone does not exercise a dog). These things are not rude, they are truthful. I am a firm believer in supplying honest answers to honest replies. It may not be the answer the applicants want to hear, but by not addressing their big misconceptions, you aren't doing them (or their future dog) any favours! I say just point out why a border collie is probably not a good match for their living situation, the biggest red flag for me being this: if they did not have time for a dog when they didn't live on acreage, they do not have time for one just because they now do. Good luck RDM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northof49 Posted June 1, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 Ooh RDM - you are quick with the keys today!! I am not concerned that I am going to be giving them information that they don't want to hear - I just want to make sure that I don't come acress really rude. Just can't seem to find that fine line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dal & Mad's Mom Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 Hi, Cindy, we are looking for a border collie to herd our children and cats. possibly this is a joke but, it looks bad in email. Do you adopt with children that young? Can you ask them to further explain their bc experience? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northof49 Posted June 1, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 Originally posted by Dal & Mad's Mom:Hi, Cindy, we are looking for a border collie to herd our children and cats. possibly this is a joke but, it looks bad in email. Do you adopt with children that young? Can you ask them to further explain their bc experience? It's not a joke - I received an appilication from them via fax as well, so it is an honest inquiry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northof49 Posted June 1, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 Originally posted by Dal & Mad's Mom:Do you adopt with children that young? Can you ask them to further explain their bc experience? It really depends - if they are well experienced dog owners and their children are dog savy, we have placed child appropriate dogs with these types of families and have had no problems whatsoever. It is not my policy to place a Border Collie with a family with young children that have no dog experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaisingRiver Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 I am thinking that they meant that they wanted a BC that DOESN'T herd children or cats and that it's a typo. I think this because they go on to explain about thier kids and cats - and they don't explain WHY they would want to have them herded. I believe it to be a typo and would respond as if it was one - maybe even jokingly say 'you mean that you want a dog that doesn't' and if they really do- they will correct you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaisingRiver Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 As far as adopting to families w/ young kids... I personally (tho I don't do rescue work) would take each family in a case by case basis - and matching w/ an appropriate dog per family. I have children and no fence. Yet I have 2 very happy, safe & healthy dogs. I am VERY dog savvy - and wouldn't want to be considered unqualified because I have kids. I got my BC from a BYB because frankly, it was easier then trying to go thru rescue. But now that I have her, I'll have a very easy time adopting because I already have her. Upon inquiring about a BC in rescue before I got my BC, when a fence was required, the interviewer said 'well you already have one dog w/ invisible fence..' implying that obviously I'm capable of having dogs w/out an actual fence. What I don't like about this approach is just because someone has a dog already doesn't mean they SHOULD have another one (or the one they have!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allie+Tess&Kipp Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 It sounds like they expect the dog to be already trained and require no effort--just be playful, friendly, and not do anything they don't want like chew their shoes, etc. I think the "herd our children and cats" comment is a feeble joke on their part to show they know what border collies are meant to do. The entire email inquiry about getting a dog is not a joke, but that one phrase probably is. I wonder how they would respond to "Can you tell me who will be the primary caretaker of the dog in your family? What purpose will the dog have in the household?" Open-ended leading questions can tell you more, sometimes. One place where I inquired about an Anatolian Shepherd, years ago, when I was researching about various dog breeds (an ASD would NOT suit my lifestyle ), the breeder sent me her typical questionnaire along with some other information, in case I was still interested after reading the other stuff she sent me. There was a question on it that asked if I would use a crate or if I would tie my dog up outside. I wrote to her and asked if she really expected people to tie their dogs outside, as based on what I had read and experienced, dogs tied up outside are miserable and not part of the family. She wrote back and said I passed her "test"--it was a trick question. People who do not freak out over that question and the way it is worded never get a dog from her. She had several questions like that on her list, and if you missed the point of any of them, no dog for you. Allie + Tess & Kipp http://weebordercollie.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSnappy Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 Generally I just ask for clarification if something in the application strikes me as unappealing. I also borrow heavily from this: http://www.bcbordercollies.com/bc/kidmyth.htm When responding. I try to be blunt, straightforward and honest and don't interject emotion into my reply. The thing with applicants is that you can give some of them the nicest reply ever and they STILL get mad. I had some people apply for "any dog" as they simply wanted a companion for their very senior mix as their other dog had recently passed away. I asked them if they had experience with high drive herding breeds and if they had considered that a young border collie pup might be too active for their senior dog who was accustomed to living with another senior dog. The response I got was BRUTAL, and both the wife and husband sent me profane, angry emails wondering who the hell I was to ask them such questions. You just can't make everyone happy, so I no longer try. I never try to be rude, but I no longer worry about how they will feel about my replies because you cannot predict how someone will respond. So, I say just reply and don't worry. You will get your message across and they can take it for what it's worth! RDM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrisK Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 It sounds like these folks have never owned a dog, so I would take the approach that a BC is NOT the place to start. Of course, that's not going to stop them if that's what they have in mind. On a positive note, they did look at rescue but it could be because they want a dog that's been trained, etc. etc. etc. RDM's approach may not be exactly your approach but she knows what she's talking about (at least from what I've seen here) She's is definitely on target when she said people will get angry anyway. Good luck..I really don't think these folks sound ready for a BC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonun Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 Just reply: "Sex does matter...ask your wife/husband." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allie Oop Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 Just as a thought -- On the other side of the coin, when I sent the rescue we adopted Allie from the initial e-mail, and then filled out the application, I must say I was pretty nervous. I sheepishly admit that the comment Hi, we are looking for a border collie to herd our children and cats.sounds a little bit like something I would have considered putting to add a little levity to the e-mail (not realizing at the time that it was actually quite inappropriate). They don't indicate whether or not they have any prior dog experience, which is a problem, but you can always ask them. I have had dogs for many years, but had never had BCs before. I had also done what I thought was a lot of research and I desperately wanted a BC from the rescue. Fortunately, the rescue looked past any miscues in my introduction e-mail and we worked out a great relationship with both the rescue and our little Allie. A reponse back from you indicating that "you are sure that they were just making a joke and that they realize that it is not a desirable behaviour for BCs to herd either cats or children" will get your point across to them. I admire you folks that do rescue and appreciate the hard work you put into making sure that the dogs you have find good homes. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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