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OT - Sound like anyone you know?

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I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.


The reason:


"Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!


I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."


From Kingman, KS




My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.


He was a Chef?

Yep...From Kansas City!





I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, !


"Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?


To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"


He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Happened in Birmingham, Ala.





The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street.


I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.


She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.


I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.


Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"


She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS





At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker.


She was leaving the company due to "downsizing."


Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun We should do this more often."


Not another word was spoken.


We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.


This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.





I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.


A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no less.





When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!"


His reply, "I know - I already got that side."


This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!



stay alert


They walk among us ... and they REPRODUCE






God Help us!!!!

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I think the dumber they are, the faster they breed. Had an art teacher and biology teacher in high school (married to each other) that had at least 3 kids in 4 years - or maybe it was 4 kids in 3 years - they bred like rabbits, at any rate. The joke was that they didn't know how it was happening so kept trying to figure it out - sad thing was, besides it was probably true, the other teachers were saying it as well as the students.

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