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I am concerned about the attachment between my bc and I . She is a 12 week old puppy and I have had her since she was 8 weeks, but she still doesn’t care much when I am around. She does get excited of course to go outside, or work on tricks, but I’m not seeing the “attachment” you always hear about, for example bc’s never leaving their owners side. She also extremely laid back, her sister loves to run around and play but she would rather sleep all day.. is this normal? 

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  • 3 weeks later...

The reason you haven't gotten any replies is that "ASK AN EXPERT is a forum for questions about training dogs to herd livestock ONLY.  So I'm going to move your posts to the GENERAL BORDER COLLIE DISCUSSION forum.

In the meantime, I want to give you some reassurance.  Puppies will usually follow a moving person, until they get distracted by something else interesting, and an insecure pup will be hesitant to leave its person's side (not really a good thing).  But the kind of "attachment" you're talking about rarely comes in the first year or two of puppyhood.  It comes (in varying degrees, depending on the pup's individual personality) with maturity, as a bond gradually forms between the two of you from the time you spend together and the things you do together.  As the years go by, the attachment that forms between a good border collie and an owner who has shared its life and won its confidence and trust can be huge, and one of the sweetest things in life.  But it doesn't come instantly.  Compare it to your kid's first day of daycare or kindergarten.  You shouldn't feel bad if the kid runs eagerly to meet the other kids without a backward look at you.  If he hangs back and clings to you, that's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's not as promising as a youngster who is focused on its exciting new world rather than on you.

Dogs vary also in their natural activity level.  Some are much more laid back than others.  But if your pup really sleeps most of the time, it wouldn't hurt to take her to a vet to see if there is any underlying health cause.

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Attachment and bond building is not just a one way street - it is about interactions and making yourself someone and something that is interesting and rewarding.  You build your bond by having frequent interactions that are rewarding for the puppy.  Quick little sessions of trick training (even as simple as luring her into sitting, rewarding and making a fuss about her) several times a day, gradually adding in new tricks (e.g.down, roll over, give a paw, sit pretty, bark on command and so on) where you reward for success and always always end on a positive. Talk to your puppy, even if you are not really asking her to do anything.  Play with her, but keep control so that she does not get obsessive.

You do not need to give her constant attention, that builds up to a new potential problem, and dogs need to learn to handle time outs and alone time, as like toddlers they can get overwhelmed and throw a tantrum, but attachment is a thousand little interactions, communications both verbal and by body language.  It can take time, so do not expect it to happen overnight.  Work on a gradual build up of trust.

And we have BCs who like to sleep all day, but will still follow us around as we go from room to room and sleep in the room we are in, or keep us in sight where they are sleeping, and wake up when we move.  This does not necessarily mean they are not attached.  For example, all four BCs were in the same room as my partner yesterday, but all asleep and not all in arms reach.  The one by himself and furthest away is incredibly attached to my partner.  You may have been lucky enough to get a puppy with a natural off switch, rather than the stereotypical constantly hyperactive BC.  She will still be active when out, but switch off when there is no 'work' to do.

1585033978732.thumb.JPEG.31cdb75a77bb1b22ae9a9ff78edcdcfe.JPEG

1585033978758.thumb.JPEG.6c1f544674cd48befcb2df4cbc60b385.JPEG

PS we had to get an extra larger couch because of our dogs.

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12 hours ago, Lawgirl said:

Attachment and bond building is not just a one way street - it is about interactions and making yourself someone and something that is interesting and rewarding.  You build your bond by having frequent interactions that are rewarding for the puppy.  Quick little sessions of trick training (even as simple as luring her into sitting, rewarding and making a fuss about her) several times a day, gradually adding in new tricks (e.g.down, roll over, give a paw, sit pretty, bark on command and so on) where you reward for success and always always end on a positive. Talk to your puppy, even if you are not really asking her to do anything.  Play with her, but keep control so that she does not get obsessive.

You do not need to give her constant attention, that builds up to a new potential problem, and dogs need to learn to handle time outs and alone time, as like toddlers they can get overwhelmed and throw a tantrum, but attachment is a thousand little interactions, communications both verbal and by body language.  It can take time, so do not expect it to happen overnight.  Work on a gradual build up of trust.

And we have BCs who like to sleep all day, but will still follow us around as we go from room to room and sleep in the room we are in, or keep us in sight where they are sleeping, and wake up when we move.  This does not necessarily mean they are not attached.  For example, all four BCs were in the same room as my partner yesterday, but all asleep and not all in arms reach.  The one by himself and furthest away is incredibly attached to my partner.  You may have been lucky enough to get a puppy with a natural off switch, rather than the stereotypical constantly hyperactive BC.  She will still be active when out, but switch off when there is no 'work' to do.

1585033978732.thumb.JPEG.31cdb75a77bb1b22ae9a9ff78edcdcfe.JPEG

1585033978758.thumb.JPEG.6c1f544674cd48befcb2df4cbc60b385.JPEG

PS we had to get an extra larger couch because of our dogs.

Love that shot, brilliant 

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I have a BC that's almost 14 weeks old and she seems more excited to see my wife and son than me. That said, she spends a lot more time with me so it's to be expected. I think you will see more of a bond as your dog passes through puppyhood, but then again sometimes you end up with a dog that prefers a bit more space. My Aussie would go crazy when I came home, but then she would go lay down somewhere away from me, but always keep me in her sight.

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