How did you become 'the' person to your dog?

[Maralynn]

At this point he probably likes you okay, but he doesn't really *know* or trust you.

 

Those things take time.

 

It will probably be a "slowly but surely" thing where one day you'll notice him making more and more choices to be near you.

[painted_ponies]

Aoife - 11 month old BC/pyr cross - has been with me about a month now. At first she was not all that into me.

 

I noticed I began rising in her estimation the more I showed her interesting things.. Her life before me was very sheltered - for example, she saw her very first lightning bug last night. So the more I take her places and expose her to things the more interesting life becomes and the better she likes me.

 

Sounds like your guy may not have been exposed to a lot of human-type stuff either. So maybe this will work for you?

 

Of course, you will probably also run across stuff he does NOT love, but I think this is also valuable knowledge. Lets you know what kinds of things he needs help with. For instance, Aoife does NOT love other dogs, so we're working with a trainer and her dogs to help Aoife deal better with canine interactions. Which is also making her like me better. I guess it's kind of a bonding experience, getting through stressful situations together. So long as those situations resolve successfully of course.

[borasaurus]

 

Borasaurus, that's EXACTLY how I feel. Like I'm not meeting all of his needs. He is absolutely obsessed with looking out the window because we have some baby rabbits in the yard. He'll come over and interact with me if I call him, but the moment we're done, he is right back to the staring outside. I can't shake the feeling that I need to be doing something more for him. But trick time, walks, and some treat dispensing toys only take up so much of the day (plus I don't want to overwhelm him). It's hard though, because I really feel like I'm not doing something right, which is why he'd rather look out the window!

Yea, don't sweat it! It's easy to feel upset or offended, but in the end he's just being a dog. The very first day I had to leave him for work, he got out of his collar when I took him out. I had to chase him and tackle him in these nasty bushes. Then, when I got home I took him out again. Guess what? He Houdini'd out of his harness (a different one). I had to tackle him again in the bushes. I hear this voice, "you got faster this time." Yup, some lady saw both times while sitting out on her balcony. Everything was more interesting to him back then, except me. He liked me, but if I let him choose, he'd probably go back to life on the street because it was all he knew. Nowadays, Kieran and I do agility and flyball. I don't have to worry that he'll just take off and never come back. It just took a little time to get that way. Same thing with Lucas getting more interested in life with you.

[chene]

Borasaurus, that's EXACTLY how I feel. Like I'm not meeting all of his needs. He is absolutely obsessed with looking out the window because we have some baby rabbits in the yard. He'll come over and interact with me if I call him, but the moment we're done, he is right back to the staring outside. I can't shake the feeling that I need to be doing something more for him. But trick time, walks, and some treat dispensing toys only take up so much of the day (plus I don't want to overwhelm him). It's hard though, because I really feel like I'm not doing something right, which is why he'd rather look out the window!

 

I have had Aed since he was 7.5 weeks old. He spent his puppyhood on a farm, surrounded by dogs, animals, and people, getting lots of attention and exploring with his littermates. Basically, the perfect situation. But I still remember the first time he lay down touching my leg. It was huge. Sure, he'd come lick you all over if you lay down, and jump up and squirm on you, but the instant you startied to pet him or show affection he'd be gone. He spent most of his time on our balcony, and usually lay in the other room when we were in the bedroom. He just didn't seem to care about us much. So I was sitting on the floor at one point when he was about 4 months old, and he came and lay down, just barely against the side of my leg, and I thought it was an accident at first. But when I move my leg just slightly, he moved too. Since then he very slowly became more and more affectionate. I remember the first time he cuddled with me on the bed, too, at about 6 months old. You couldn't touch him, still, but he'd lay pressed against you. When he was young I honestly thought we'd never bond, and he didn't even have any issues to get over.

 

He's 11 months now and one of the cuddliest, most affectionate dogs I have ever met. He is constantly squirming into my lap, worming his way into my arms as I sleep, settling down with his head under my chin, and pretty much constantly touching me if he is anywhere near me. He loves hugs, too. He still hangs out on the balcony and in the back yard (we moved) for as long as he can, and if there's someone else around he barely gives me a glance. He still lies on the other side of the house. When we go to the beach, he goes as far as he can before going out of sight. But he always waits for us. He loves my boyfriend and I equally, and I believe if we left he would quickly learn to love someone else. He's independent. He doesn't attach to people, but he's willing to share and receive all the love he can. He's my dog, and I'm his person, it's just more of an open relationship than a monogamous one.

 

Just a perspective from a totally normal, non-abandoned, non-abused, non-rescue dog point of view.

[WetBlackNose]

Maralynn, you're right and I have to keep reminding myself that while I'd been anticipating him coming to us for a long time, he's only just been thrown into the situation. He doesn't know anything about me - wish I could speak 'dog' to let him know it will be ok!

 

painted_ponies, loved your post. Aoife probably loved seeing those bugs light up! I'm trying to balance new, fun experiences with routine and consistency. It's hard! I would love to take him everywhere!

 

chene, those 'breakthrough' moments are special. I'm learning this is the case especially with dogs who are more independent, or just aren't into much touching. FWIW, I think this is based on a dog's innate personality, and not just how a dog was raised. Aed seems to support that. I think I took that for granted with other dogs I've had in my life. My shepherd was true velcro and loved to cuddle (just with me) and my basset mix is the cuddliest guy in the world and could never pass up a snuggle. Lucas lies next to me when I pet him, and I'm starting to notice more affection from him, little by little. It's just that he's also fine if I'm busy to go off and occupy himself. Some dog people would love that, I'm just getting used to it.

 

Aed sounds like a young guy who wants to see and interact with as much of the world as he can. I wonder if age, particularly the 'teenage' stage he is at right now is contributing. I bet as time passes and he matures he will begin to appreciate his relationships even more. Thanks for sharing

[RemsMom]

FWIW, I think this is based on a dog's innate personality, and not just how a dog was raised.

I think this is true. Natasha came to us as a nine week old puppy. The ranch where she spent her first weeks had a bunch of small children and we were told that the children loved to play with the puppies. I knew this was true because Natasha was used to being handled. From her first days at home we could play with her toes and her ears and hold her in our arms like a baby and carry her. But Natasha isn't what I would call affectionate. She loves interacting with her people. She plays fetch, loves to learn new tricks, and thinks agility classes are the best but she doesn't have time for petting and cuddles. There is too much work to be done!

 

On the other hand I have my rescue, Mattie, who has only been with me for a week. Mattie's life until she was around nine months in unknown and then she was with her foster for seven months. The foster mom said Mattie was really shy at first and made a huge amount of progress in the months she was with the foster. Mattie seeks out our attention. She will come up to me and get very close and if I pet her she eats up the attention. I have petted Mattie more in the last week then I have Natasha in the past six months.

 

By the way, Lucas is adorable!