Physical affection: Nature or nurture?

[sogj]

I like really cuddly dogs. My Golden isn't really happy unless his face is in my lap, he likes laying next to me on the couch, etc. He goes everywhere I go. I know that's annoying to some people, but I love it.

 

I got him when he was a puppy, right at 8 weeks, and I put him on a leash tied to my belt as I went anywhere in the house. For the first few months of his life, he lived next to me, trained next to me, was always getting affection from me (as well as me teaching him how to be appropriate in the house).

 

My question is, obviously having a male golden retriever means he's gonna naturally be a very affectionate dog, but can the way you raise a pup affect its level of physical affection? I'm considering getting a female BC, and I hear they aren't as cuddly and I'm wondering if a dog will be more cuddly if you raise it that way. In other words, how much of it is just breeding and genes and how much is what they experience in their first few weeks/months of life?

[Liz P]

I think a lot of it is nature. Obviously a pup that is ignored and neglected will be less affectionate, but I've had pups raised like yours that never became super cuddly and hated to be held or hugged. A quick pat on the head was the most you could get. You just have to love those dogs for who they are.

 

ETA: That dog would have done anything for me. He was the most honest, loyal, hard working creature ever to walk the earth. I miss him every day.

[Oko]

I think it depends on the individual dog. FWIW, I have a female border collie (4 m/o) that is very into physical affection, always wanting to be near me, touching me, cuddling, etc. She really just adores being petted and touched by anyone she meets, and actually loves getting her tummy rubbed. She will throw herself at me, 'hug' me, etc. Loves being picked up and carried around. She came like this when I got her at seven weeks old.

[urge to herd]

I think it's nature mostly, but can be influenced heavily by nurture.

 

Ruth and Agent Gibbs, who likes affection kind of.

[Sue R]

Like Ruth said, I believe much is nature but nuture influences to one degree or another. But if it's not in the nature, I think the most nuture does is increase or decrease the outward display of affection that the dog feels naturally.

 

The dog of my heart does not like to cuddle with me, although he is quite amiable to cuddling with my husband. Why? I don't know but I do know he is more responsive to my husband in a number of ways, even though you can see that he is devoted to me. For instance, he listens and responds more rapidly to Ed in a number of ways but if there is a choice between being with me and being with Ed (even if Ed is doing the "fun" thing like taking the dogs for a walk), he will choose to be with me. He does not haunt Ed's movements like he does mine, particularly when we are about to travel and the dogs feel less secure and don't want to be left behind. His nature is just not overtly affectionate.

[gcv-border]

I agree with the general observations above. Mostly nature, but can be somewhat modified my nurture. My current male BC is also of the type that a pat on the head or body is enough. His preferred interaction with me is some sort of game/hiking/agility. If I try to get him in my lap for some petting (I am sitting on the floor), he will come on my lap and tolerate petting for 5-10 seconds, then you can tell he wants to leave because he would prefer to play with me. I did a lot of playing with him as a pup, but even as a pup, he wasn't into cuddling.

 

But he goes bonkers over greeting new people and will lean into their legs and let them pet him for ages. I get a little bit jealous sometimes.

[D'Elle]

Definitely nature in my opinion, although that is possible to modify with nurture, no doubt.

 

I am a cuddler with my animals, and love to pet whoever is close by. My female border collie, Kit, eats it up. My male, Jester, has never been affectionate with me on my time schedule, although he will occasionally come get up on the couch next to me and lean in for some petting. Maybe 15 seconds worth and he has had enough most of the time. He's like the dogs described above who would rather be active, playing. So I just figure that the way to tell him I love him is to play with him every single day.

 

Interestingly, my "border cat" is just like Jester. Won't sit still for petting, but loves it if I throw a little ball for him to retrieve.

My other cat, inherited last summer when my partner died, is Mr. Love Bug.

 

go figure.

[Maralynn]

My female is a huge cuddle bug. My male is affectionate, but not nearly as in your face cuddly. My first female was much more serious but loved attention here and there for a couple minutes.

[alligande]

I am throwing in behind nature as well, my current dog is devoted to me but is happy to lean on me, and get a pet. He does not want to cuddle on the couch/bed he might touch me just a little. When he wants to engage with me it's to play or do something. He is usually somewhere he can keep an eye on me.

I know it's not us, we have had house guests and fosters who cuddled watching telly and non of the residents have cared.

[GentleLake]

But he goes bonkers over greeting new people and will lean into their legs and let them pet him for ages. I get a little bit jealous sometimes.

 

 

I so get that!

 

Bodhi, my therapy dog (BC), doesn't want to cuddle with me unless there's a thunderstorm. But he'll happily cuddle with kids who read to him at school or in the libraries, and with some nursing home residents. With others he's very much a drive by greeter, though, in for a quick hello and then on to the next person. I do ask him to wait to let them pet him, since that's why we're there, and he's usually very accommodating.

 

He does like to come and lean in to me for petting sometimes, though. Seems like he's been doing it more lately. I always take advantage of what I can get, since it's not his usual MO with me.

 

Tilly, the BC/spitz-type mix isn't into cuddling either. She squirms and fidgets so much when I ask her to come sit with me on the couch that I have to make her get down.

 

Tansy, the lurcher, though, inherited the piling gene that I see in so many sighthounds. She loves to cuddle.

 

But, yeah, I agree that it's mostly nature.

[juliepoudrier]

I have many and those who were raised from puppyhood were raised the same way. I also have several that came to me as adults, rescue or otherwise. In my experience, limited by the numbers in my own pack, past and present, it's largely nature. My males have tended toward the upper end of the affection bell curve and the females are sort of all over the place, FWIW.

 

J.

[juliepoudrier]

Oops, phone (operator) malfunction, resulting in double post....

[geonni banner]

My female was really raised under poor conditions for her first 6 months. No socialization, not enough food, etc. But she is the only dog I ever had that loves bear-hugs. She's moderately affectionate with most people that she knows well, stand-offish with those she doesn't and very sweet without being clingy to me. But she loved getting a full-body squeeze from day one. The first time I gave her one she gave me such a look of astonishment, and then started sproinking around, dancing up to me and patting me with her forepaws and "laughing" with her mouth open. The harder I squeeze her the better she likes it - I can't squeeze her any harder for fear of cracking her ribs! And every time she goes into transports of joy.

[Root Beer]

I'm going largely with nature, as well.

 

Tessa is the world's biggest love bug. She snuggles like a teddy bear. But only with me. It's obviously there, but she needs a huge amount of trust to be able to let it through. But it is definitely her underlying nature.

[Gideon's girl]

Nature. Both of mine are the same about cuddle time as they were as 8 week old puppies. Gideon likes to lie down near by but not touching, but it's just fine if you reach over and scratch him. Micah wants to be ON TOP of you for about 5 minutes of cuddle then he will go away and want to be left alone for a while, no touching.

[Hooper]

Nothing much to add to everyone else's posts, except to say that Liz P's ETA could have been written by me. I like a reasonably affectionate dog, but the dog I miss every day was one who had about a 4 square inch area that was reserved for blissful butt scritches. Other than that, he patiently tolerated me petting him anywhere else, but disdain for my sissy girl displays of affection oozed from his every hair follicle. I had him from the time he was 7 weeks old and he just never cared for petting or physical contact of any sort except for that one special scritch spot.

[TEC]

Just train it, like you would anything else. On cue, Josie jumps-up and sits on my knees. She hugs, too, if I ask. In order to maintain her tough girl persona, she looks around first to be sure nobody is watching. She wouldn't want dogs/sheep thinking she is soft. I say, make use of their intelligence. Nature vs. nurture...C'mon? -- Happy Holidays, TEC

[MrSnappy]

Tweed has never been cuddly. Piper disdains all snuggles. Dexter and most of his siblings LOVE to hug people, any people. My Aussie mixes both want snuggles all the time. My whipjacks won't get out of my lap and the IG lives in my sweater. They is who they is, methinks.

 

RDM

[sandysfarm]

My female bc was a bait dog without an owner for her first three years. She has zero trust issues and is the sweetest cuddler I've ever owned. So it seems to me that must be just who she is.

[Gloria Atwater]

I'd say it's as much nature as nurture. My boy, Nick, is my shadow and pal and right hand. He's faithful to a fault and follow me everywhere. But cuddle? Snuggle? Hug? Curl up in my arms? ACK! Horrors! He's most comfortable just lying on my foot where I can pet his big head, and sometimes he'll sit at my feet and let me give his head a good pet, but that's about it.

Now, his younger sister, Gael, is getting snugglier the older she gets. She's kind of busy, so pinning her down for loves is a bit tricky, but ohh, she loves being petted and snuggled and loved.

Border collies are very funny critters, and each have their own ideas of propriety, I think!

~ Gloria

[urge to herd]

Just train it, like you would anything else. (snip) I say, make use of their intelligence. Nature vs. nurture...C'mon? -- Happy Holidays, TEC

snip They is who they is, methinks.

 

RDM

You can train the behavior, but you can't train an emotion, such as happiness. Buzz and Shoshone had very different demeanors when approaching new people. Buzz LIVED to meet new people. Every one remarked on how affectionate he was with total strangers. Shoshone would approach a stranger, tail wagging a little bit, to get a cookie. Once she had her cookie, she was no longer interested, would move away from a hand reached out to pet her.

 

We had to teach Buzz to not throw himself at his new best friends, to restrain himself. We had to teach Shoshone to tolerate being touched. They were very different emotionally.

 

Ruth and Agent Gibbs, who falls in the middle of the spectrum.

[TEC]

 

You can train the behavior, but you can't train an emotion, such as happiness...

Well, I know it makes me happy when my dog hops up on my lap. And I'm pretty sure I see her wink and smile after she's back on the floor -- TEC

[Tilly's Handler]

My border collie bitch has gotten more cuddly with age she never used to sit still for a pet or a hug for more then a minute now she want to be petted and will seek it out on her terms of course

[Root Beer]

My border collie bitch has gotten more cuddly with age she never used to sit still for a pet or a hug for more then a minute now she want to be petted and will seek it out on her terms of course

 

My least cuddly dog, Speedy, has gotten more affectionate with age, as well. He will often come up wanting his head scratched, and will occasionally snuggle right in.

 

But yes, it is on his terms. If I call him over, have him jump up, and pet him, he will accept it. But he really only loves it on the rare occasions when he comes asking for attention.

 

If he were an only dog, I would drive him nuts because I do enjoy snuggly dogs.

[NJSwede]

Well, I thought our three Cavalier King Charles Spaniels were the cuddliest dogs in the world (after all, they were bred to be cuddly companions), but our BC rescue takes the cake. And we believe she didn't have the best life before we got her. So my vote is for mostly nature.