Conversation With a Stranger

[Laurelin]

People seem to take extreme offense when a dog doesn't immediately warm right up to them and want to be best friends. My youngest papillon is very aloof with strangers and wants nothing to do with them. She's not even fearful at all, she just ignores them. No barking, no tail tucked, no response at all and yet people interpret that as fearful. And thus I get all sorts of comments about how she's so timid and scared (she's not) just because when a stranger makes kissy noises at her, she doesn't look at them and try to run up to them. She must be a rescue they ask. Then they find out I bought her and raised her and of course I am a bad owner. If I was a good owner my dog would be more outgoing.

 

And then people get offended. 'All dogs like me!' and seem to need to prove that they can make my dog like them too. That makes her even less likely to pay you any attention. The funny thing is she's the most affectionate dog I've owned and warms up very quickly to people that let her instigate the first interactions.

 

Why would I expect someone else's dog to pay any mind to me as a total stranger? I do not understand this thought process at all. Dogs are not public property.

[Carson Crazies]

I think a lot of times people are just so entrenched in their own thoughts and worldview as it applies to dogs that oftentimes it just doesn't sink in. Yeah, I think some folks are just willfully rude, but I think a lot are just ignorant and have trouble when the information they're receiving isn't matching up with what their dog experience has taught them.

 

One day I had Zippy in the vet's office for something or other and the vet tech had taken him off to weigh him and such. When she came back she was carrying him. Though I've warned them frequently to NOT do that, sometimes they just don't get it. She came in with the Small Dog under her arm, and I could see him start paddling and could see that he was about to start vocalizing. If paddling and vocalizing didn't work, Zippy would resort to teeth. He wanted D-O-W-N, and Zippy didn't play around about that.

 

I looked at her calmly, and said, "You really should put him down. He's getting ready to bite you."

 

Her: "Hunh?" as she continues to hold him.

 

Me: "You need to put him down. He's getting ready to BITE you."

 

Her: blank look, and keeps holding him.

 

Me (enunciating clearly): "Put. My. Dog. Down. Or. He. Will. Bite. You."

She finally put him down right as he was getting ready to turn around and take a vet tech snack.

 

They find it very difficult to assimmilate the idea that a small dog might not want to be carried around. Even though I've told them.

 

It's frustrating, but on some level I get it. One day I met a friend's cat. She said to me, "Don't try to pet her, she'll bite you." What do I do? Barely fight off the urge. It was all I could DO to not pet that cat.

[terrecar]

It's frustrating, but on some level I get it. One day I met a friend's cat. She said to me, "Don't try to pet her, she'll bite you." What do I do? Barely fight off the urge. It was all I could DO to not pet that cat.

 

I am mildly afraid of cats. I was bitten by a cat as a 4 year old. I don't know why he bit rather than scratched, maybe he was declawed, but I probably deserved it. I don't remember.

 

Then I was bitten by a bat that required me to go through rabies shots, and I swear that bat screeched and hissed just like a cat (though a bat bite feels more like bee stings), solidifying my skewed perception of cats.

 

I recently saw a cat in the middle of the road that had been hit by a car. I stopped for it because everyone else was just passing it by, but I had a police officer put it in my small dog carrier so I could take it to the ER vet. I was grateful.

 

In my defense, I don't mind if a friendly cat jumps on my lap when I'm visiting--I don't dislike cats and it's not a phobia--but I'm too afraid to pet one otherwise.

[juliepoudrier]

Bless you for helping the poor cat, even though you are afraid of them.

 

J.

[Gideon's girl]

I had someone with a Lab on flexi run up to my dog. While they were still approaching, I asked them to control their dog because mine doesn't like strange dogs in his face. They pulled the "but he's friendly" line on me. My brain was saying "This could be a potential law suit" but my mouth said "Are you stupid?". That stopped them in their tracks. BTW our leash laws require a lead that is 8 ft or less and a dog under control. My dog was a 90 lbs GSD K-9 trained. No wonder "Are you stupid?" was what popped out.

[brady's mom]

FYI, years ago when PetSmart opened in our area, two of my students went to apply for the trainer's job...as did two other people I knew from the local dog club. All four had been in obedience for at least 5 years (maybe more) and had multiple obedience titles on multiple dogs. All four were turned down; two were told that they were over-qualified. I was curious, and so I called PetSmart about this. I was told that their policy was to hire someone with NO dog training experience...because....they had a book that they wanted the person to read and then train/teach from that book. oh well.

 

So that explains your story.

 

That would explain everything! Also explains why their pet classes are so...bad.

 

I had someone with a Lab on flexi run up to my dog. While they were still approaching, I asked them to control their dog because mine doesn't like strange dogs in his face. They pulled the "but he's friendly" line on me. My brain was saying "This could be a potential law suit" but my mouth said "Are you stupid?". That stopped them in their tracks. BTW our leash laws require a lead that is 8 ft or less and a dog under control. My dog was a 90 lbs GSD K-9 trained. No wonder "Are you stupid?" was what popped out.

 

I think having a broken filter is better in these cases than having a working one. Being nice doesn't seem to get the message across to 75% of the pet owning public. I mean, the majority of people at the dog park we used to frequent thought that raised hackles and generally aggressive stances meant "oh! he just wants to play!!"

 

Can't say I blame you!

[MommaLove]

They pulled the "but he's friendly" line on me. My brain was saying "This could be a potential law suit" but my mouth said "Are you stupid?".

 

Hahaha! I love it! I'm bound to say something like that one of these days, I'm just getting so fed up with the general populace. In terms of my dog *and* my kids (who are more and more frequently asked, "Why aren't you in school today?" as they get older - we homeschool).

[Dylandog]

Dylan's bottom jaw is too short meaning that his bottom canine teeth make holes in the roof of his mouth, so we spent a lot of time making sure he was ok with us messing with his mouth. When he was a pup a man grabbed him by his bottom jaw with his hand in Dylans mouth and kept it there for ages. It took months to fix and we still have issues 3 years later.

 

The worse people we have to deal with are at our dog training club. Dylan is not friendly with dogs on lead so I make sure we are far enough away that other dogs don't bother him and the whole class are told to keep their distance, and still people let their dogs get too close It makes training really hard because I have watch Dylan like a hawk and watch what everyone else is doing or not doing with their dogs.

[Tommy Coyote]

If I'm going to someplace like Petsmart I just figure there are going to be a lot of people who might just walk up and pet the dog. And there are going to be children. I never take in a dog that can't handle that situation - don't want trouble. Don't want someone to get bitten and don't want my dogs to be put in a situation that is dangerous for them.

[Beach BCs]

I was at a trial last year with Tex for a CBCR fundraiser. Tex was sitting in a camping chair and someone asked if they could pet him. I walked the man over to Tex he he petted him nicely. I looked away for a moment and looked back and the man was holding Tex's chin in his hand examining his teeth. I told him to "Let go now." I asked him what he thought he was doing. He said just wanted to see his teeth. I told him "Well, you almost got a demonstration on how they work. Never do that again, to my dog or any other dog you don't know." Granted, I shouldn't have looked away.

[scullywags]

Yesterday I was with my dog and my kids at a War of 1812 re-enactment festival. There was a "skirmish" with muskets being fired. My kids sat up at the front of the crowd to watch, and I hung out under a tree in the shade with Juno and the baby. Of course, being with a pup and a baby seems to be an open invitation for strangers to approach and start conversation.

 

It wasn't long before a woman closed in on us. She swooped down over Juno, stroking her ears as Juno backed up and put her tail between her legs.

 

Woman: "Ohhhhh!!! What a sweet puppy! Oh, the poor thing is afraid of the gunfire!"

 

Me: "No, she's actually fine with loud noises. She's shy of people getting in her space."

 

Woman: "I don't understand why you people bring your dogs to things like this. It's just cruel to expose them to these sounds. Look, her tail is down!"

 

Me: "Her tail is down because she doesn't like strange people in her face."

 

Woman: "I was at the fireworks last month, and I just couldn't believe all the people bringing their dogs down there. Oh, the poor things. I can just imagine them shaking with fright over all those loud bangs."

 

Me: "Some dogs don't mind the sounds. Juno's fine with fireworks."

 

Woman: "And look at that black coat of hers. You really shouldn't have her out on a day like today, it's way too hot to be out with a black dog."

 

Me: "Well, we're relaxed here in the shade and she's got drinking water. She's not even panting."

 

Woman: "Oh! You have a baby there too!" (The baby was in the sling on my chest) "That baby is going to overheat with all the fabric draped around her. It's so hot today, you shouldn't have that baby out here, especially under that fabric."

 

Me: "If she was uncomfortable, she'd let me know."

 

At this point I was highly irritated and my tone of voice was not friendly or inviting. I had stepped between the woman and Juno, because Juno was visibly bothered by her - ears held back, tail down, backing away. The woman stepped around me to try to pet Juno again, and Juno backed against the fence. I stepped between.

 

Woman: "Look how scared she is of that gunfire. Oh, poor thing. Is she a rescue puppy?"

 

Me: "No."

 

Woman: "You bought her?"

 

Me: "Yes."

 

Woman: "I hope you didn't pay much for a mutt. What's this lab crossed with, anyway?"

 

I gave the woman a pointed look, gathered my stuff, and walked away with Juno. Ugh, some people feel so entitled to dish out their opinions to complete strangers! And usually they have no idea what they're talking about, either.

 

(As far as fireworks and loud noises go - we live across from a vineyard. They have those poppers to scare the birds away from the grapes, that sound like guns going off. We hear them all day, every day. When Juno first came to our home, the sound frightened her. It took all of two days for her to get used to it, and now she isn't bothered by sounds at all. She's gone to the fireworks three times this summer without any negative reaction whatsoever, and was fine at the skirmish until that woman set in on us.)

 

 

Juno lab mix thats funny look at that face REALLY!! my motto is ya cant fix stupid so no worries over wing nuts if we all did the same thing life would be dull do as you see fit for your animals and child and phooey on others.....

[scullywags]

When i got my toy aussie i spent alot of time defending the fact I had a toy

til one day i said i feed him i paid for him and hes neutered so back off and that zipped some lips

I choose my dog because I wanted him I was not out solicting toy aussies had no idea they existed

when i saw him my heart stopped he was my heart dog i had been without my full size aussie for 5 yrs

and his eyes filled that hole in my heart of losing my 18yr best friend.

 

I also have a BC that yes I paid for from a breeder because I wanted to know where he came from

mind and health wise an i get lots of IMo on that

 

I tried to take a rescue dog and since i do not have a fenced yard and a bleeding heart they

turned my away too bad for the dog it would have had a good safe fun life for him

 

So the other BC I have was given to me hes been given my love and training and care I know

how it is in my house so phooey on those that judge

 

let he who is without sin cast the 1st stone!

[arf2184]

Most people around here are fairly dog savvy and will listen when I say no, they can not pet my dog.

 

A few times though, I would not have blamed my dogs for biting someone. At a park once, a little girl, age 6-7, came up and started petting Matty without asking. Matty liked kids, so this was ok, but I tried to tell the girl anyhow that she needed to ask first. As I'm doing so she starts to climb on her back 'to ride her'...Her stupid dad just stands there and watches!?! I pull the confused Matty forward closer to me and girl falls down because Matty moved while she was trying to get on her. She starts crying and of course I'm the bad guy. Well, I probably saved her from a well deserved bite (though Matty would probably not have).

 

Another time Bear and I were out somewhere and while I had my head turned (shame on me) an old man came up (probably in his 70s or 80s) and started petting him. He did ask if he could pet him but not until AFTER he had already started. Bear seemed alright with it and was interested in how the guy smelled, so I allowed it but warned the guy that Bear was a bit nervous of stranger. Then suddenly the old guy leans over the top of Bear, lifts his nose, and plants a kiss right on his lips...umm...NO!! I just about had a heart attack. Twice prior to this Bear had snapped at people (friends/family) for getting in his face...wasn't trying to hurt them, just wanted them to go away...and he had to be muzzled at the vet when they looked in his ears. At that time, he did not like people in his face and he'd do what he had to to get them to go away. Fortunately, Bear was just as stunned as I was and didn't do anything though he was clearly uncomfortable. I stepped back and called Bear away from the old guy and said we had to go. Gave lots of praise to Bear as we walked away. To be fair, I think the old man was hard of hearing and may not have heard my warning AND Bear was not acting shy, but still...you just don't do that with a strange dog.

 

Meg doesn't like to be pet usually...not even by me sometimes. Bear has gotten much more relaxed and open to strangers in his old age, but its just not worth the risk. Now I don't allow people to pet my dogs at all. I try to carry treats and let people give them a treat if they feel they must interact with them (encouraging them to throw it to the dog...both my dogs like to catch), but no petting. Its enough for most people (adults and kids).

[terrecar]

I'm always amazed at how proud some people are to show off their lack of knowledge...

 

Not saying it is, but if this were directed at me, I would invite anyone who feels I have posted out of turn to call me on it.

Edited October 9, 2012 by terrecar

[Maralynn]

Not saying it is, but if this were directed at me, I would invite anyone who feels I have posted out of turn to call me on it. I have learned quite a bit on this board, and I would rather not come off as a know-it-all myself, or propagate information that is misleading or damaging. A polite rejoinder would be more than welcome!

 

FWIW, the comment I made wasn't directed at anyone in the thread. Just a general response to the theme of the thread.

[terrecar]

FWIW, the comment I made wasn't directed at anyone in the thread. Just a general response to the theme of the thread.

 

Right, but the invitation still stands.

Edited October 9, 2012 by terrecar

[SS Cressa]

 

 

...I mean, the majority of people at the dog park we used to frequent thought that raised hackles and generally aggressive stances meant "oh! he just wants to play!!"

 

 

>.< that is how Troy greets all dogs right before he goes into a play bow. He has greeted other dogs that way since puppyhood. Always have to warn/tell the owners before we see if we can say hi that Troy is quite rude in his greeting. Fortunately most dogs are not offended and immediately start playing. Of course since we ask we are generally able to avoid the not so tolerance dogs.

[terrecar]

>.< that is how Troy greets all dogs right before he goes into a play bow. He has greeted other dogs that way since puppyhood. Always have to warn/tell the owners before we see if we can say hi that Troy is quite rude in his greeting. Fortunately most dogs are not offended and immediately start playing.

 

Hannah does this with some dogs, particularly if she has first spotted a dog while she is on lead. I consider it an inappropriate greeting, but I am at a loss at how to rectify it. I simply manage it by not allowing her to play off lead with a dog to which she has displayed this sort of body language unless I am sure of the other dog.

[juliepoudrier]

Not saying it is, but if this were directed at me, I would invite anyone who feels I have posted out of turn to call me on it. I have learned quite a bit on this board, and I would rather not come off as a know-it-all myself, or propagate information that is misleading or damaging. A polite rejoinder would be more than welcome!

I think in general when people make comments like Maralynn did on threads such as this, those comments are directed at the general dog-owning (or even non-dog-owning) public, who presume they know more about a particular dog than the dog's owner, and aren't afraid of saying so....

 

I think if someone disagrees with you here, they will simply say so. No worries there.

 

J.

[terrecar]

I think in general when people make comments like Maralynn did on threads such as this, those comments are directed at the general dog-owning (or even non-dog-owning) public, who presume they know more about a particular dog than the dog's owner, and aren't afraid of saying so....

 

I think if someone disagrees with you here, they will simply say so. No worries there.

 

J.

 

Thanks Julie. I worry about the oddest things (lol's at self).

[Tea]

I have never been to a dog park, but my worst experience with someones dogs was at a big field that I was leasing for my sheep. I had gotten out of the truck and had Sweep at my side walked to the gate and a lady ran up to us with some kind of large red dog who was growling. When she was about 20 feet away I politely said, please just stop. She said she wanted her dog to get used to other dogs and lets her dog go who promptly jumps on TOP of Sweep.

I went berzerk.

 

Later she apoligizes etc etc......And I explain to her it is not my job to get her dog socialized but to gather my flock and do my job.

 

I couldn't believe this whole thing. Really shook Sweep up. Thankfully I was right there and got the dog off of him. Sweep was not injured.

[BCScot]

Simple fact. It's human nature, for some humans: They don't take correction.

[border_collie_crazy]

thankfully I dont get too many issue with stupid when I walk 6 dogs together, people have a habbit of suddenly getting more resepctful when they see a small teenager(I'm not a teen, but people think I am) with 6 med-large dogs all together, all of a sudden they leash their dogs and hold their kids back and ask before allowing anything, its great lol

 

>.< that is how Troy greets all dogs right before he goes into a play bow. He has greeted other dogs that way since puppyhood. Always have to warn/tell the owners before we see if we can say hi that Troy is quite rude in his greeting. Fortunately most dogs are not offended and immediately start playing. Of course since we ask we are generally able to avoid the not so tolerance dogs.

 

 

Gem and Gyp often have their hackles up when preparing to play as well. nothing however beats the day that Gyp randomnly decided that greeting new dogs at the dog park was a waste of time before the playing started, better to just skip the formalitys and welcome new dogs to the park by way of charging at them full speed and tackling them that was so embarrassing I have not been back since lol

[SS Cressa]

 

 

Gem and Gyp often have their hackles up when preparing to play as well. nothing however beats the day that Gyp randomnly decided that greeting new dogs at the dog park was a waste of time before the playing started, better to just skip the formalitys and welcome new dogs to the park by way of charging at them full speed and tackling them that was so embarrassing I have not been back since lol

 

Troy reserve his pounces for certain people. :-/ don't get me wrong he loves all people but sometimes there is just that one person that one must drag owner over to right before you "hug" them.

 

I think I would of harm troy if he took into pouncing other dogs. With how big he is I am sure he would knock something out chiropractic speaking.