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How do you say Goodbye?


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I got the news today that no one wants to hear. I have to say goodbye to my Missy girl far sooner than I ever thought I'd have to. She has hemangiosarcoma. In a way I've known there was something wrong for the past couple weeks. I've seen it in her eyes. But I've been chalking it up to stiff joints and construction noises. Yeaterday I felt the mass in her abdomen. Today the vet confirmed my suspicions.

 

But how do you say goodbye to your best friend? Your constant shadow for the past nine years? The dog that was always waiting to greet you when you came home (if she wasn't along - she rode over 100,000 miles with me in the car)? Your chore buddy that was always ready to go help with sheep chores?

 

It's retorical question. I'm spoiling her and trying to stay upbeat for her. But this is sooo hard :(

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I'm so sorry to hear this. I think we all know what your going through. They just don't live long enough for us. Love and spoil her while you still can.

 

My husband lost his German Shepherd to hermangiosarcoma. The only good thing about it was that it was quick, and for him seemed to be painless until the end.

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I'm so sorry to hear the bad news. :(

 

There is no good way. The last 2 BCs I have lost have both had hemangiosarcoma (both 11.5 yrs old). The first had his primary tumor in his heart, the second in his liver. Duncan lasted 10 days post diagnosis. I think Flyboy lasted about 10 days as well. If I could go back and do it all over again, I would have let them go sooner.

 

Spoil Missy rotten, treat her with dignity and try to make the end as peaceful as possible.

 

Duncan spent his last day sitting in his favorite hay field. He liked to watch the bugs and birds fly past. Mostly he wanted to catch the bugs.

 

Flyboy spent his last day laying along the fence of the goat field watching them graze. That was where he was happiest.

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I am so sorry it is so hard to face losing a friend. I suppose it is the greatest love you can give her to let her go when life is too difficult. Of course there will be a huge void but I am sure you will recall all the happy times you had together and all the miles you travelled and maybe this will help a little. I will be thinking of you.

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You just do it. I lost Ross in December to the very same thing, and it was a shock of one week fine, the next week a sick dog that my vet advised to let go before he suffered anymore. It breaks your heart, but you do what is right and find a way to make it as unstressful as you can.

 

I am so sorry, Mara.

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We made it as painfree for Mac (our 15 year old Aussie with a massive hemangiosarcoma on his spleen and spondylosis that made it hard for him to get up and down) as we could, spoiled him, helped him - and the day that the light went out of his eyes, we knew it was time.

 

I feel so sorry for you. God bless you both.

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Mara, I am ever so sorry. I know all too well how terribly hard it is. I don't think there's anything in the world harder than making that decision and seeing it through. You'd do anything not to have it be true and there's nothing you can do. I have been there and my heart goes out to you. I will be thinking of you and your lovely Missy and sending you my love.

D'Elle

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Oh golly, I'm so sorry to hear. The only thing I can add is probably the hardest. When the time comes, try to be as calm as possible for Missy's sake. I will always regret that we were so emotional when it was Lucky's time. Sometimes you have to hurt, so they don't have to.

 

Thoughts are with you...

 

Liz

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For me, when I had to make that decision for Boy last fall, it was about being there for him at the very end. I held off his vein and I held him until his heart stopped beating. I still cry thinking about it, but I felt like it was the last best thing I could do for him, to make sure he was at ease at the time of his passing.

 

I'm so sorry you're going through this. As others have said, now is the time tos spoil the heck out of her and create as many more happy memories as you possibly can.

 

J.

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Man, it sure is tough. And hard to decide what and whether to do.

 

If she isn't in pain, spoil her, do things for her (we carried Fergie out to the yard when the two steps from the kitchen were a problem), and love her a lot. With luck, she'll go like Ferg did, in her sleep with you close by.

 

If she's in pain, you'll do what you have to do. My sister-in-law and my cousin had control of the morphine drips when they were in hospice care, so they were able to control the pain. A dog can't do that. So we have to do what we can.

 

But I'll pray that Missy just fads away, as Ferg did. Ferg lasted about a month, and the decline was constant but gradual. It gave us time to accept the truth. She never showed any sign of pain, wandered in the yard and slept in the sunny grass, and enjoyed all her meals and treats until the last day. Even then, she licked any soft food we offered and enjoyed cuddling, although she mostly wanted to lie on her poofy pillow. Eventually, that evening, she just didn't wake from a nap.

 

We still expect her to greet us at the kitchen door, take off and run ahead when there's a squirrel or goose at the pond, be snoozing in her chair in the den....

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Difficult as it is every single time we must make that decision, in many ways it is one of the most unselfish and loving decisions we make for our companions. We will feel pain at their death, and loss every time we turn around and they are not there. Every time we go out to work sheep, or go to the post without them. But, in accepting that pain and loss, we take it from them. They have given us their unconditional love their entire lives. We give to them this final mercy of sparing them needless pain and suffering. These dogs take such joy in life, that the moment it leaves their eyes we know they are ready.

 

Pearse

 

 

 

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But how do you say goodbye to your best friend? Your constant shadow for the past nine years? The dog that was always waiting to greet you when you came home (if she wasn't along - she rode over 100,000 miles with me in the car)? Your chore buddy that was always ready to go help with sheep chores?

 

It's retorical question. I'm spoiling her and trying to stay upbeat for her. But this is sooo hard :(

Mara,

 

I'm so sorry to read this. I don't think there is a good way to say goodbye.

 

Losing Scooter so suddenly and violently in February was a shock. I'm still haunted by the memory of how poorly the vet handled my boy's last few minutes on this earth. I had read so many posts about cradling one's dog in their arms and whispering quietly to him until he passed, but that's not how it happened for us. I'm sorry I wasn't able to be calm for him--it always upset him when I cried.

 

But, as horrible as it was, sometimes I think we were spared the agony of watching him deteriorate and trying to make the decision no one wants to make. In our case, the decision was taken out of our hands.

 

You will do what you have to do, what is best for Missy, when the time comes. And it will hurt like hell.

 

I wish I was there right now to put my arms around you and wipe away the tears. Praying for you tonight. Courage and peace.

 

Pam

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Mara - there's a space in your heart that says "Missy" over it, and that's why your heart feels like it's breaking right now ... she's making her way in there. And when it's over, your heart is a fuller for the experience. As painful as it is to lose them, the treasure trove of memories they leave behind, in your heart, are worth it ten times over.

 

I know it doesn't feel like it now. And I don't know how to tell you how to say goodbye. I wish I could tell you to take a lesson from Missy; she's living in the now, and she doesn't know that you're about to say goodbye to one another. She just feels joy to spend time with you. The greatest gift you can give her is to return the favour. But that's a lot easier said than done.

 

It's been over 3 years since I lost Briggs, and I think you all know how special he was to me. It was hard to lose him, but I can't imagine how those 11 years would have been without him. And when I think of him now, it's with fondness and real thankfulness that I was lucky enough to have those years. In time, you'll feel the same way about Missy.

 

She's a loved dog, so she's blessed. And you're blessed too. Your heart knows it, and it will heal with that knowledge. And that knowledge will give you the courage to say goodbye.

 

But my heart aches for you. I'm so sorry.

 

RDM

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I lost my Jazz to hemangio last year. I was hoping for surgery so I kept him as quiet as I could. Had I known that he would die before the surgery, I would have played frisbee with him, one more time...

Do the things that Missy likes to do...love her and hold her close..

 

I am so very sorry that you must go through this...

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Oh Mara,

I'm so sorry to read this. I feel exactly as you do. Sometimes I find myself thinking if there is anything, anything I can do to keep my Gilly with me.

Iknow it is unrealistic but sometimes a girl's gotta dream :/

 

Realistically, Julie has given great advice. As a tech I have helped probably thousands of animals pass-usually under very trying circumstances at the ER. You have the blessing of being able to plan the end so that the stress for everyone is minimized. See if your vet will come to your house when the time comes so Missy can go to sleep in the comfort of her own bed.

 

I'll keep you both in my thoughts.

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I am so very, very sorry for you. We had to let 3 of our old girls go in the space of 2 years. It never gets easier. Love her, enjoy her, spoil her rotten. You know when it's time. Our last to go, Della, simply went outside to sleep under a juniper bush, and never wanted to come indoors again. That from the dog who wanted to be constantly at our sides and by our feet, and who pined if one of us was gone overnight.

 

Blessed be. My hear aches for you.

 

~ Gloria

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I am SOOOO sorry to hear about your sweet dog!! I had to put down my 14 year old a month and a half ago and I still cry at the sound of his name and when I see any dogs who look like him!!!! I have been told that it gets easier, but do not have that kmowlage yet so can not tell you that!! However I can say to take advantage of every single moment you have together!!! Take TONS of pictures and make LOTS of memories!!! I still treasure the picture I have of him and my puppy playing, I just wish I would have been able to have gotten more my short 2 weeks with him after being apart for 2 years!!!!

 

Again I am sooooo VERY sorry for your sad news!!!!

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Thank you for all the kind words, comfort and advice. They really mean a lot to me.

 

Last night I took her over to do chores as usual and then we just wandered around the farm a bit. Found a cat to pester, checked out the chickens. I have more sheep to shear so I'll probably do that today. She loves spending time in the barn and she likes laying there staring at sheep while I shear :rolleyes: I hope the lambs are born soon - she loves them.

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I enjoyed reading this - with Mac, the day he lost interest in the things he loved the most, we knew it was time.

 

Our vet always gives the option to stay and hold the dog, or to not be present - we stayed and held and petted him until the end. They all deserve to be surrounded by love when they go.

 

You will know when it's time for Missy, no matter how hard that will be for you. God bless you both!

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Mara,

 

I'm so sorry you're joining the ranks of those of us who have lost dogs to hemangiosarcoma.

 

All I can do is second the comments of others about spoiling Missy, in essence providing hospice care, and if necessary, help her comfortably leave this world. Having lost 2 dogs in the last 4 months, I know how devastating it is to hear that there's nothing more you can do to give a quality life to a long time friend. It's just never easy.

 

Shirley

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