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Scooter 12/3/04-2/19/11

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Oh, my dear, I can only imagine your pain to some small (very small) extent, but I will echo that you must not be too hard on yourself. I doubt I would ever have guessed a brain tumor, either, especially from symptoms so subtle. Head-shaking could be indicative of a number of things, as could other behaviors. It's only in hindsight, when you put all the shattered pieces together, that you realize the answer, but it's not your fault. It's just a terrible happen-chance, and you gave him nothing but love and happiness all the days of his life, right up to the end.

 

That end, I know, is the hardest thing of all. I understand the total, soul-deep love you felt for him. I hope, in time, the memories of the joy he gave you will help heal the scars on your heart. God bless you.

 

~ Gloria

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Ohhh. I do not get on the boards enough anymore... I saw this and, what a shock. :( I am so very sorry. What a beloved friend Scooter had in you, to be the one who saw him in his lowest moment, and help him through it, no matter how hard it was. I am sure that is not how Scooter wanted to show up in the world.

 

(Our bulldog we had years ago went thru something similar...the vet also concluded she was suffering a brain disease of some sort...but it is hard.)

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I know it's not going to ease your pain at the moment, but you have to realize that without having him in your life you would have never known just how much you can love nor how much a little black and white dog could have been devoted to you with his faithful love. With time, the whold in your heart will fill in with all his good memories. Let the tears flow, I think they help wash away the pain.

 

You and DH are in my thoughts and prayers. Don't for one minute think you could have done better. Buddy couldn't have asked for a more caring loving owner and he would want you to know your best was more than good enough.

 

(((((hugs)))))

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I have been thinking about you and your Scooter for two days, and loving my dog extra.

 

I've been reading up on canine brain tumors, and it sounds as though the symptoms could so very easily be mistaken for almost any other illness: epilepsy, old age, ear mites.

 

I wish it could have been diagnosed some other way. Poor Scooter, to be not himself in his final hours, and poor you to have to make this decision amid so much pain and confusion.

 

Mary

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Well, some well-meaning friend (not from the Boards) suggested he might have had rabies. He was totally up to date on his vaccines. Could this really be a possibility?! Lord, will the nightmare never end?

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Well, some well-meaning friend (not from the Boards) suggested he might have had rabies. He was totally up to date on his vaccines. Could this really be a possibility?! Lord, will the nightmare never end?

 

No. Rabies vaccines are highly effective for a long period of time. Dogs that are up to date on rabies vaccines don't get rabies. Period.

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After looking over the symptoms of brain tumours, there is no way you could have been expected to know that was likely his problem. Those sypmtoms are seen in vestibular disease, old dog syndrome (which can affect younger dogs like Scooter), epilepsy, and the list goes on. You did all you could for Scooter. Take time to heal and don't second guess yourself.

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No. Rabies vaccines are highly effective for a long period of time. Dogs that are up to date on rabies vaccines don't get rabies. Period.

Thank you, Maralynn. :)

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Condolences to you and your husband, may time bring peace and healing to you.

It is sometimes an awful thing, that hind-sight is 20/20.

There is no way you could have known that all the separate pieces you saw were

really part of a larger puzzle -

take solace in the good memories you carry.

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I just saw this - and wanted to offer my sincerest condolences. You've been through so much this past year. The real Scooter was there by your side through it all, helping you through the worst of it. The dog you saw the other day - the one that attacked you? That wasn't the real Scooter. It was the shell of a dog after the brain tumor had destroyed him. The real Scooter fought off the tumor until you got to the point where you didn't need him as much any more.

 

There was no way anyone could have recognized the warning signs. As others have said, hindsight is 20:20. Somewhere the real Scooter is running free, no longer in pain, waiting for you. Remember him as he was for virtually all of the time you had together. Let the last part go, and learn to trust again. The real Scooter would want it that way.

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I just saw this. I'm so very sorry. I could tell from your posts that you both had a great relationship. I always marveled at how smart he was. He will be sorely missed. Run free little guy...You were a good boy. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

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Thank you so much to everyone for their expressions of sympathy and words of encouragement. It has helped me get through one of the worst times in my life.

 

The bites are healing, but I'm now having pain and some numbness in part of my right hand and it hurts to type much because my fingers are still swollen and both wrists are swollen and sore, but I had to let you know how much each one of your notes affected me and I've read every one--sometimes more than once.

 

Mentally, we're not doing at all well. I can't close my eyes without seeing the attack and am having trouble sleeping. Dreamed last night that he was mauling me again. DH is heartbroken and feels like he betrayed Scooter by signing the paper to have him euthanized. Some images you just never get out of your head I guess. Twice yesterday when I saw a dog, I froze for a half a second. I have an appointment with a therapist in March. I go back and forth in my head all day about what a sweet, goofy guy he was, then I look at my hands and am horrified at what happened.

 

Eventually I hope to write a fitting tribute to our handsome, loving boy. But right now it's too fresh and too painful.

 

Thank you again. Your compassion lifts me up and keeps me going.

 

Pam & Terry

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Flash backs do fade in time. Grieving for a dog is just a really hard thing.

 

Puncture wounds do swell a lot and hurt and get stiff. You have antibiotics don't you? That's really important.

 

Can you do something in memory of him that will help you. I always plant flowers. Especially the kind that bloom im the spring. That way I have flowers every spring to help me remember.

 

When something awful like that happens it's important to get right back up on the horse before the fear can set in.

 

God bless.

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Pam, I'm not surprised this has knocked you both around. Sudden, terrifying events are hard to let go of - but it is true that time calms the nerves and softens the memories. I hope you can get to a place where the sight of a dog brings you joy, again.

 

Truthfully, I'm kind of looking at my dog out of the corner of my eye, thinking, "What if?..."

 

Mary

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Hi Pam,

 

I have been thinkging of you and am glad that you posted an update on how you are doing.

 

I can only imagine how you and your husband feel. But as others have mentioned, time will heal the wounds, both mental and physical.

 

Take care of yourselves.

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Oh Pam, I am so so sorry. I had a dog growing who had a brain tumor and it was a very similar snap at the end - thankfully directed at my dad who was strong enough to defend himself. It is so sad. I know how much you loved Scooter, and you have to know how he loved you. I really hope you can find a lot of comfort in remembering the 99.9999999% of your time together. Your family is in my thoughts.

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Hey Pam (and Terry),

 

I've been thinking of you guys these last few days. About three weeks ago, I tried to break up a dog fight and got bit on the hand (not nearly as bad as what you described but bad enough to need medical care). My thumb is still a little numb and it took almost two weeks for the swelling to go away entirely--so don't worry too much about your physical wounds--since you had it seen and got on antibiotics, that'll probably be fine with time. I also continued to have flashbacks to the fight--those have faded more slowly, but also faded. It really is time. And given the exponentially bigger trauma, it'll probably be a while before those fade for you and Terry. As long as you know you have places to turn for support, you'll both make it through.

 

Scooter *was* a big, goofy guy--that's still totally real. You can know that and still acknowledge your trauma--doing so doesn't take away from what you loved about him or how much you miss him now.

 

It's just awful for you and Terry. I wish there were something other than time to offer as help.

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