What Border Collies seldom understand...

[Malvie]

…is that the mere fact that the refrigerator door is opened is not necessarily an indicator that treats for them are forthcoming....

 

…is that a queen-sized bed will only hold so many large creatures…

 

…is that armrests on chairs are for resting arms upon; when an arm is thusly placed, it is not necessarily there because it needs a border collie nose on it…

 

…is that leather recliners are for people, not border collies…

 

…is that the dogs in the next yard will be there tomorrow, too…

 

…is that vacuum cleaners, in and of themselves, are not fatal to border collies…

 

…is that a 60 pound border collie, when applied suddenly, unexpectedly, and exuberantly to the midsection of a middle-aged man snoozing in a recliner can cause spillage of drink, breakage of computer and a sudden change from baritone to soprano…

 

…is that yelling because your team scored a touchdown is not the same as yelling because your border collie pottied on the carpet…

 

…is that loud, raucous, welcoming barking, tail-wagging, and running around upon the entry of “Dad” never fails to bring a smile to Dad’s face, no matter how tough his day has been.

 

 

[JohnLloydJones]

…is that armrests on chairs are for resting arms upon; when an arm is thusly placed, it is not necessarily there because it needs a border collie nose on it…

 

Then why, ask my sweet dogs, is the armrest exactly border collie nose height?

 

Also mis-understood (in this house, at least) is that people sleeping on a divan are not intended to be used as trampolines during a whirlwind "catch-me-if-you-can" play sessions.

[Jedismom]

...or just because I happened to walk in the direction of the back door, doesn't mean it's time to go out yet again..we just came in.

[geonni banner]

Or that just because the computer makes that cute little "ping-pong" sound when it's being turned off, that it isn't necessarily time for the dog to fly into transports of ecstasy about her imminent evening walkies.

 

or - and this is SERIOUS - that sometimes mom forgets to save the last bite of the macaroon for her...

[njnovice]

...that mom is allowed to go outside and smoke without bringing dogs along.

[Sue R]

Truer words were never spoken...

[bn_here_b4]

That you don't get an ice cube every time I get a glass from the cabinet.

 

That toll booths do not give french fries.

 

That mom can use the bathroom alone. I can't get out of the little room without you knowing it so it is ok to wait outside the door.

[njnovice]

...that putting on the charm for the lady behind us in Petsmart is cute, but spitting back the treat, then acting like you've been poisoned is just sort of embarassing.

[Beach BCs]

OMG! That's what Georgia does every time! Ha!

[PSmitty]

...or just because I happened to walk in the direction of the back door, doesn't mean it's time to go out yet again..we just came in.

 

Amen, sister! This is the story of our lives around here.

[Gloria Atwater]

Also mis-understood (in this house, at least) is that people sleeping on a divan are not intended to be used as trampolines during a whirlwind "catch-me-if-you-can" play sessions.

 

.... They're NOT?

 

 

That mom can use the bathroom alone. I can't get out of the little room without you knowing it so it is ok to wait outside the door.

 

Oh, I don't know about that. There's that little window above the sink and toilet, y'know.

 

Gael also doesn't understand that being asked, "Dogs wanna go outside?" is not cause for high-pitched yelps of hysterical delight. I'm pretty sure she can bolt the length of the yard without being bark-propelled.

 

 

~ Gloria

[urge to herd]

That barking with your mouth closed is STILL barking. (Shoshone)

That roo-roo-rooing from the moment my alarm goes off until we get back into the house from the yard for the first potty trip of the day doesn't make me wake up any faster. (Gibbs)

That humans need a little space around them to put their clothes on. (Gibbs and Buzz)

That paper products are not a dessert item. (Samantha)

[Christina]

...that putting on the charm for the lady behind us in Petsmart is cute, but spitting back the treat, then acting like you've been poisoned is just sort of embarassing.

 

!!

 

Mine do that. I warn people ahead of time that they aren't going to eat it.

[HoosierMike]

...that sitting in the direct line of sight, between me and the TV, and

"scoot-sitting", for lack of a better term, when I shift on the couch,

to get back into direct line of sight, will not get the ball thrown

any quicker.

 

Mike

[alligande]

 

That toll booths do not give french fries.

 

 

I would add that not all drive up windows are cookie dispensing devices, and the air tubes at the bank do not always make cookies when the whooshing noise starts.

 

Not all gas station attendants love Border Collies and have pockets full of cookies.

[Dal & Mad's Mom]

My dogs will not eat the cookie from the bank no matter how much it would make the teller happy. So I totally identify with the embarassment.lol

 

My add is: If I told you to go lie down I dont want to pet you right now. I mean for a few mins not untill I shift a bit for comfort in my chair.lol

[toney]

My dogs will not eat the cookie from the bank no matter how much it would make the teller happy. So I totally identify with the embarassment.lol

 

My add is: If I told you to go lie down I dont want to pet you right now. I mean for a few mins not untill I shift a bit for comfort in my chair.lol

[toney]

That just because I put my muck boots on doesn't mean we are going to the barn or pasture to work sheep. Sometimes, it's just MUDDY out there!

[Carson Crazies]

Putting on my socks does not necessarily constitute sheep forthcoming for the border collies.

 

Opening the front door also does not necessarily indicate sheep forthcoming for the border collies.

[mbc1963]

...that when a human achieves bare-consciousness at 4:30 in the morning and subtly shifts her position in bed, it is NOT NECESSARILY a sign that spooning and tummy-rubbing must ensue immediately.

 

Mary

[Gary M]

That Daylight Saving Time ends the first Sunday in November.

This means woo-wooing at what is now 4:30 am to get me up (when I set my alarm, haha, at 5:30 am) and 4 pm to get fed (when you get fed when the clock reads 5 pm) isn't going to work!

[Kelleybean]

Oh, and cats simply don't like having their butts sniffed.

[bn_here_b4]

That an essential component of fetch is the part where you give me the stick instead of carrying it in your mouth just out of my reach. Giving back the stick allows us to play the game over and ovr

[Jacks_Mom]

That staring at the ball then at me will not will me to throw the ball, nor will the ball throw its self if you stare at it long enough.

 

That tatteling to mom when other family members tell you no will not get the ball thrown for you either. (when the others in the house will not throw his ball he comes to me to tell on them he is a talker)

[bc4ever]

That staring at the remote, then me, then the remote, won't get me to turn off the t.v. at 10:30 at night because you want go to sleep. Neither will long, loud sighs.