HCBell Posted June 26, 2006 Report Share Posted June 26, 2006 PET RULES To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height. Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent p ossible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years * canine or feline attendance is not mandatory. The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough! To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door: To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets 1. They live here. You don't. 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furnit u re. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.) 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they: 1. Eat less 2. Don't ask for money all the time 3 Are easier to train 4. Usually come when called 5. Never drive your car 6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends 7. Don't smoke or drink 8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions 9. Don't wear your clothes 10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dixie_Girl Posted June 26, 2006 Report Share Posted June 26, 2006 That was posted here a couple months ago. But is still funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catu Posted June 26, 2006 Report Share Posted June 26, 2006 Thanks, now I'm going to really do what I should have done before... translate it and post it in my blog Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HCBell Posted June 26, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 26, 2006 Sorry for the repeat then, I did not remember seeing it. It still made me smile though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat's Dogs Posted June 26, 2006 Report Share Posted June 26, 2006 That one is Soooooo funny! I love it! I remember it from some other site but I don't remember the whole thing (Pet rules, to non-pet owners, and pets are better then kids) all being posted at the same time here. Or maybe I just forgot. Either way - it is funny no matter how many times you read it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AWQH Posted June 27, 2006 Report Share Posted June 27, 2006 LOL thanks for posting this. It was hilarious. Since I wasn't here months ago, I never saw it before, so don't worry about it being a repost Dianne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WyoBC Posted June 27, 2006 Report Share Posted June 27, 2006 I never saw it before either. It was really funny. And true too. God Bless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoku's mum Posted June 27, 2006 Report Share Posted June 27, 2006 Very Funny!! It was a first for me, too. Thanks for the giggles! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iluvlucy Posted June 27, 2006 Report Share Posted June 27, 2006 Ny first, I'm e-mailing it to my niece who pwns a alpha cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melly Posted June 28, 2006 Report Share Posted June 28, 2006 This is so funny and so true. My queen bed is too small for all of us, so I guess I'm going to buy a king. I'll still probably sleep hanging off the edge, while the furkids strech out all over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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