Anyone ever have a problem not likeing their adoped Dog

[Jedismom]

I just wanted to chime in with something I noticed with my clingy submissive foster, Jake. He also did not play with anything in the beginning. One of the reasons was that he didn't know how to play, and the other reason was that he was intimidated by the other dogs. So I made sure I played with him one on one, and I picked toys that were not favorites of the other two dogs. Then when he started to get the idea, I would bring in only one of the other dogs and we would continue play. Eventually I could play with the 3 dogs at once but it was a process getting there. I watched carefully, and anytime Cadi (Queen dog)

would start to bully him she'd get crated. After 2 crating episodes, no more bullying. She's very smart. If we had not gone through this process, I would never have known that Jake had the ability to jump up and catch a frisbee the way he can now.

 

In the beginning, if he could have crawled into my skin, he would have. With consistency on my part, he learned that jumping up and nudging me earned him crossed arms, averted gaze, and sometimes walking away. A sit next to me earned him pets, massages and belly rubs. So he started offering the sit instead. I have also taught all my dogs a hand signal and the word "enough" for when I'm done. Otherwise Jake would think that a "sit" meant an all night petting session.

 

I am going to miss Jake when he goes...he's the only one of the three that seeks me out just for me...I would never have said that the first few weeks. Good luck with your decision.

 

Georgia

[Liz P]

Here is a question that my friend asked me when I was upset about not liking my BC that I eventually sold...

 

"Do you want to be friends with every person that you meet?"

 

My answer was no, that I didn't like everyone, even if they were perfectly nice, normal people.

 

So she said to me, "Then why would you expect to love every Border Collie that you meet?"

 

Made perfect sense to me.

[Elizabeth77]

Fascinating reading.

I never thought of not bonding with a dog one took on. Of course that was silly of me and now I see how it could happen. It must be so hard to face the fact and very brave in my opinion.

I was so lucky with my Meg, we just took to one another right away. I know I do things that annoy her and she can irritate me at times but she has brought such joy to my life.

I hope it works out for both you and Cody .

[herdcentral]

Well there are people out there that like clingy dogs! My young ACD likes to sit on my lap, snuggle up close on the sofa, head on my foot etc. I love it! she is a real snuggle bug and close contact dog. When I work with her she is all focus on me and is so keen to please me. However my dogs do understand when I have had enough of them and I can send them away.

 

What I didnt like about my BC was the fact that she wasnt like this at all - in fact I felt like for her I didnt realy exisit and she didnt seem to want to work for me either. This has changed after lots of work and she now enjoys my company and will often come for a snuggle and is now quite keen to work for me. I know she is a smart dog but was much harder to train initially than my ACDS because of the lack of bonding I had with her.

 

So I guess different people look for different relationships with dogs and Codee may suit someone perfectly. I personally find it hard to rehome a dog so I persevered with my BC and it has payed off.

[pansmom]

I'm not an expert or anything but Pan used to be that way about nudging my hand for attention and she would jump in my lap and be REALLY clingy and forceful about getting playtime when she was a pup. As it turns out it was pretty much my fault because every time she nudged my hand or jumped in my lap, I would pet her. I reinforced both behaviors so much that I had to start getting up and walking out of the room when she did it because she started to EXPECT me to pet her and if I didn't she'd shriek or play-bark and paw me. But as soon as I completely stopped reinforcing the pushy behavior, ignoring her if she was too pushy, and asking her to do a string of commands before I gave her the attention she wanted, she stopped. We're talking like one or two days, and this was fixed. So actually it doesn't really take that much to teach a dog to quit that kind of crap, if I'm understanding what you're describing anyhow.

 

ETA: Another thing you might be able to do that Dr. Haug has us doing with Pan is ignore the dog when she is within about a foot of you, body block her ouot of that radius or tell her "out" if necessary, and don't acknowledge her--don't even make eye contact--unless she is outside of that radius, basically teaching her that she cannot invade your space like that. Maybe if you can teach Codee not to be so pushy you will be able to appreciate him better.

[NW_MONTANA_BC]

I am finding this thread really interesting reading because I've had experiences all across the spectrum in terms of how quickly or slowly my dogs and I have "taken" to each other. My three current dogs are all foster failures, so I obviously did not intend to keep any of them. However, at some point, I realized that I couldn't adopt them out. Although none of them is a dog I would have gone out and picked for myself, I've been fortunate that it's worked out for the best. And, as others have noted, it sometimes takes quite awhile to feel a connection to a dog--my Kate, who arrived as a puppy, and I were at loggerheads for the first couple of years we lived together.

 

However, this part of your recent post really stuck out to me (I've added the emphasis):

 

I think there's an important distinction to be made between "not liking" a dog (as in, the two of you just don't connect for some reason) and and "not liking" a dog's behavior (the way it acts). The behavior, after all, can be changed! I remember, shortly after you got Codee, that you posted about his behavior on the rescue board. At that time, Mary (of Starfish BCR) gave you some information about resource guarding and ways to address it. I wondered, then, if you'd tried any of these or other strategies to help Codee behave in ways that are more acceptable in your home?

 

Codee behaves very well in the house as I believe he was never allow in the house from his last home. In talking with the people they kept him out side all the time. His only problem acorrding to them was he was killing their chickens. In the house Codee is really good but seems to be stepping on egg shells all the time with the other 2 female in the house with him. Codee wants to be with me in the house but the girls have some say in this. Outside is where I have the problem with Codee. He seems pretty independant and just sneeks off if he is not watched real close. I have been working with him with a long line. He has such a prey drive he wants to take out after anything that he find might amuse him like deer, squarls, horses,etc. In the house you could not ask for a better dog.

[elegy]

It took me a long time to really bond with Mushroom, and still he is not a dog I'd want to own again, but at this point I can't imagine sending him away. He's part of my life, and part of my heart.

 

He's just not my style of dog. He's a good dog, mind you. He's a very nice pet dog- happy to hang out on the couch and just be with you all day, but always up for a romp or a hike. He's as sweet as could be. He just lacks the spark and intensity that I like so much in my dogs. And he's very insecure (though much better than he was initially!) and that leads to all kinds of annoying behavior (resource guarding mostly, but he's also very leash reactive out of fear).

 

Once I understood that I was disappointed in him because he wasn't the dog I wanted, I was able to set that aside and appreciate him for the dog that he *is*. And it was at that point that I really started to bond to him and truly love him.