Nikita4ever Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 As I write this the tears are streaming down my face and I hope I am wrong. It may be time to say good-bye to my princess. Last night her eyes were tired and sad. She has been a warrior not feeling well then a couple of days later bouncing back to a happy girl enjoying life. But last night I think she was telling me Mommy I am tired and I want to rest. Nikita has not been feeling well since Friday. On Sunday she appeared to be feeling better. She was alert, wanted to play and was barking, wagging her tail enjoying life. I think this may of been her good-bye to her family. On Monday she got sick again unable to hold anything down and I think she may of had another seizure while I was at work. She looked like she had given up. All night and this morning she just laid there no energy no motivation for anything. I tired to get her to take a sip of water and that was a challenge along with trying to get her medicine down her. I just hope I am wrong and within the next couple of days she will be back to her ornery self. There were a few times in the past I am glad I waited before I decided to make the decision because she bounced back. But her eyes were different then. Something about them this time was telling me Mommy I am tired and don't feel well. I laid on the floor with her all night in hopes that would help her recover and make her better. But I am afraid my time with Nikita is coming to an end very soon. I need to think about her quality of life the next couple of days and make the decision I dread. I will be losing my best friend, the only one who never judged me, loved me unconditionally and the list goes on and on. I called our vet and he said when the time comes he will come to our house so Nikita can be in her house and comfortable. I also have it set up for her to be buried at a Pet Cemetery by the beach. Nikita loves the water. She loved to swim in Big Bear Lake, pools, run through the sprinklers, bite the water from the hose and she just could not wait until bath time. Sometimes when I had the water running in the shower she would jump in eager for a bath. Everyone here has been wonderful and I really appreciate it especially in this difficult time. Thanks to everyone here I have been able to come to grips and deal with Nikita's brain tumor much better. I am still a mess but before all the wonderful people here I was to the point of not functioning. I have begun to mentally start preparing myself for the reality that my princess does not have much longer left and to enjoy every second I have with her now. I will keep everyone posted on Nikita. I sure hope I am wrong about how she is feeling and I am not reading her correctly and she will bounce back and be her happy perky self again. Lets hope. But time is of the essence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lewie'sMom Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoseAmy Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 My heart goes out to you. I know this is so hard. Try to remember that she will always live on in you with all the wonderfull happy times the 2 of you have shared together. Please stay in touch with all of us we really do care and understand what you are going though. Hugs and prayers to both of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pansmom Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 I know how hard this is. My heart goes out to you. It sounds like you will make the right decision for Nikita, whenever the time does come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juliepoudrier Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 Sending healing thoughts and prayers your way. I'm wishing Nikita an soft passage when the time comes and you the strength to help make her final moments easy for her. She knows how much you love her and that she will live on in your heart. J. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrisK Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 I'm so sorry to hear about Nikita. She sounds like she is a wonderful companion. When my Brandy was 16 1/2, she too, let me know she was tired. The morning I decided to let her go, she rallied a bit, walked around the yard, sniffing, and taking in all that was around her. I thought - no - maybe today isn't the day. But then, I looked in her eyes again and I knew the decision was the right one. My vet came to my home that evening and Brandy went gently.... that was 10 years ago...she lives with me always. My thoughts are with you at this most difficult time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth77 Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 I know how hard this is for you. I too shed a few tears reading your mail as it reminded me of the hard decisions I too was faced with so I really can empathise with you. It helped me to feel I was showing just how much I loved my dog by allowing him to find peace. So difficult . I send hugs to you both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BustopherJones Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 I have been through this too many times in my life, and my heart breaks for you. I hope these words might be of some comfort: If it should be that I grow weak, And pain should keep me from my sleep, Then you must do what must be done, For this final battle cannot be won. You will be sad, I understand. Don't let your grief then stay your hand. For this day, more than all the rest, Your love for me must stand the test. We've had so many happy years, What is to come can hold no fears. You'd not want me to suffer so. The time has come, please let me go. Take me where my need they'll tend And please stay with me until the end. Hold me firm and speak to me Until my eyes no longer can see. I know in time that you will see The kindness that you did for me. Although my tail its last has waved, From pain and suffering I have been saved. Please do not grieve it must be you Who had this painful thing to do. We've been so close, we two these years, Don't let your heart hold back its tears. ~ Author Unknown Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Journey Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 Hugs and prayers to you and Nikita. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aljones Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 I am so sorry you and Nikita are facing this, and I will keep you in my thoughts. I do know it made things much easier for me and for my Kate last fall when our vet came to the house, so I hope that will allow both of you to be as comfortable as possible when the time comes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
urge to herd Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 I'm so sorry that Nikia is fading, we all know how hard it is to say good by. Nikita will live in your heart. That's not much comfort now, I know, but it will help you in days to come. Tender thoughts coming your way from us. Ruth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaileytheCollie Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 I am extremely sorry! I know this is going to be hard for you! My heart goes out to you! Also bustopherjones- wonderful poem Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bc4ever Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 Gentle, healing thoughts being sent your way. Peace be with you and Nikita. Pam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PSmitty Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 Just heartbreaking. My thoughts are with you and Nikita. Letting them go is the hardest thing, but when the time is right, it's also the kindest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
esox Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 I have tears streaming down my cheeks as I reply. We're with them such a short time compared to our lives. It doesn't seem fair, but she will live forever in your memories and your heart. Esox & Alex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmyd65 Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 My thoughts are with you an Nikita... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Izzysdad Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 Best wishes to you. It's one of the hardest things a dog lover can do, and these border collies hold a different place in our hearts than other dogs I believe, so we all know how you feel. Just remember you're doing what is best for her like you always have. Tim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy Coyote Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 Ah shoot. Everyone is crying because we've all been there and know how hard it is. God Bless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegy Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 Adding my tears and my good thoughts as well.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue R Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 Be strong for Nikita and choose what's right when the time is obvious. Then feel free to cry and grieve all you need to and know that many, if not all of us, understand and have been there ourselves. Prayers, thoughts, and sympathy to you both at this most difficult of times. Be comforted that she will always live in your heart, as all good dogs do in the hearts that loved them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MicheleS. Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 Your girl knows you love her. We all feel your pain. You're in my thoughts. Michele & Hughie & Gypsy & Chase Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam'smom Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 Oh my I read your post and feel your loss, it's amazing how attached we are to our furry family, I am so so sorry for what you are going though. it's heart wrenching... Big hugs to you both... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ooky Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 Old companions like Nikita, who aren't just another pet but are so a part of YOU, are so, so, so hard to let go. You both love each other so much. You will know when it is time, just listen to yourself but most of all to her. She will always be with you. <<<<<HUGS>>>>> to you and Nikita. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuthBelle Posted June 10, 2009 Report Share Posted June 10, 2009 My eyes are welling up as I'm typing this, as I know how I felt when I finally made the decision to let Ruth go. My heart aches for you and Nikita. Ruth declined rapidly towards the end of her life, and while we could have possibly prolonged what time she had left (with no guarantee of success) considering different veterinary options, my worst fear was that she would die, alone while Bob and I were at work. The final day we took her to the vet, I got down on the floor with her in my lap, dear Bob (who I only knew a few months at that time) sat with me and we both hugged her while she slipped away. I still miss my Ruthie. I'll be thinking of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LyndaB Posted June 10, 2009 Report Share Posted June 10, 2009 As I write this the tears are streaming down my face and I hope I am wrong.It may be time to say good-bye to my princess. Last night her eyes were tired and sad. She has been a warrior not feeling well then a couple of days later bouncing back to a happy girl enjoying life. But last night I think she was telling me Mommy I am tired and I want to rest. Nikita has not been feeling well since Friday. On Sunday she appeared to be feeling better. She was alert, wanted to play and was barking, wagging her tail enjoying life. I think this may of been her good-bye to her family. On Monday she got sick again unable to hold anything down and I think she may of had another seizure while I was at work. She looked like she had given up. All night and this morning she just laid there no energy no motivation for anything. I tired to get her to take a sip of water and that was a challenge along with trying to get her medicine down her. I just hope I am wrong and within the next couple of days she will be back to her ornery self. There were a few times in the past I am glad I waited before I decided to make the decision because she bounced back. But her eyes were different then. Something about them this time was telling me Mommy I am tired and don't feel well. I laid on the floor with her all night in hopes that would help her recover and make her better. But I am afraid my time with Nikita is coming to an end very soon. I need to think about her quality of life the next couple of days and make the decision I dread. I will be losing my best friend, the only one who never judged me, loved me unconditionally and the list goes on and on. I called our vet and he said when the time comes he will come to our house so Nikita can be in her house and comfortable. I also have it set up for her to be buried at a Pet Cemetery by the beach. Nikita loves the water. She loved to swim in Big Bear Lake, pools, run through the sprinklers, bite the water from the hose and she just could not wait until bath time. Sometimes when I had the water running in the shower she would jump in eager for a bath. Everyone here has been wonderful and I really appreciate it especially in this difficult time. Thanks to everyone here I have been able to come to grips and deal with Nikita's brain tumor much better. I am still a mess but before all the wonderful people here I was to the point of not functioning. I have begun to mentally start preparing myself for the reality that my princess does not have much longer left and to enjoy every second I have with her now. I will keep everyone posted on Nikita. I sure hope I am wrong about how she is feeling and I am not reading her correctly and she will bounce back and be her happy perky self again. Lets hope. But time is of the essence. Thinking of you. This is painful for me to read - I lost my darling, darling boy with a brain tumour just 6 months ago. I have a hole in my heart which is only his and will never be replaced. I really feel for you. :flowers: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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