Shall she stay or go?

[Dog Lady]

I reading but biting my lip.

[Meg's mum]

"So, what are you fixing for supper? Got rabbit on the mind? Or did I miss something? "

 

LOL! I was responding to Dog Lady's comment

 

"I wanted a companion for my older dog, have wanted one for years, now went ahead and got one,free from paper ad, and wanted a furry friend for me, as Lucy sleeps lots. Had a rabbit which died recently."

 

This wasn't meant to be disrespectful AT ALL.

 

My husband's kids were incredulous when I told them there would be no rabbits in our house, not even if they 'kept them outside'. We only have the kids 4 days a month and two weeks a year!

 

Rabbits are incredibly entertaining, soft and full of personality if destructive. But I have boundaries and I'm absolutely unmovable about this. So we don't have rabbits. But if Dog Lady's DH doesn't have that boundary then rabbits are lovely companions should Sophie need to find another home.

 

Dog Lady, I suspect that the depth of your concern here reflects the resolve you've made to rise to the occasion, adapt and make the best choice for all of you. Good luck.

[Dixie_Girl]

LOL okay, I DID miss that! It just seemed like it was outa left field! (sitting here laughing at myself!)

 

Dog Lady, ya know, marriage is one of the strangest relationships we humans have. It is all other relationships rolled into one! We have so many things going on at once! Sometimes we learn to deal with these sometimes we don't. You say you have had the dog three wks. Was DH in on the decision to get the dog? Was he like, okay, get the dog, but I don't want to be involved or bothered? If he is absolutely against the dog, you will have nothing but probs. BOTH of you have to have some kind of common ground with this. Seldom will both be on the same page. But there can be compromises that can work. If your first priority is your DH feelings, and he is not budging on this, you really have no choice but to rehome the dog. Even though the dog is 2yrs. old, without training, he is nothing more than a puppy. And the training will take time and he will screw up during that training. If you really want a dog, and if DH is okay with a dog, just not one that needs training and so much attention, there are many dogs in rescue or at humane shelters that will fit the bill. They will have already gone through the training and you and your family can just enjoy the dog. There has to be a passion associated with training dogs in general and even more so with BCs in particular. And a commitment. A commitment of no matter what.

 

If you want to commit to this dog, you will get loads of info on training tech. for him. If not, there are folks who will gladly take him and put him where that commitment will happen. It is far worse to keep him and have him never know what he does wrong but makes him feel punished all the time, than to say, it just isn't a good fit, here fella, find your true home.

 

Please comment on where you are on this. You said you are reading the posts but biting your lip. I hope you understand that most all on this board have a real passion for dogs, not just BCs! If you say, okay, I am committed to this dog, now, how do I train him to not chew my shoes? Or, what do I do about submissive peeing? Then you will get help. Tons of it!

 

Won't you please let us know?

[Beth G]

Yes please let us know. Every dog should have a life filled with happiness and love. Where they are cherished for who they are, and allowed to just be a dog without punishment for doing so.

 

Loads of people here can help you teach her the proper behavior for living with humans- hopefully in your house.

[Dog Lady]

Sophie has been in the house lots more of late, and goes to work with me each morning, approx 2.5 hours.

I was really feeling low about it all last week but am heeding what you say.

At the weekend I almost got a crate for $12, but dh didn't want one in the house, I told him where it would be out of sight, by side of couch, but he said she has the run of the yard and doesn't need it. I said how you all have said it's a good thing, to help with training her, but it wasn't coming home with us. Dh is not against dogs just thinks our house is too small for indoor dogs.

And we won't have rabbits again and they wouldn't be in the house either although we do know of people that have loads indoors.

Sophie is for keeps.

Thank you one and all for your comments, now I may include you with my training her!

[Haystack Hollow]

A crate with a finished board on top makes an attractive end table.

[Lunar]

Originally posted by Haystack Hollow:

A crate with a finished board on top makes an attractive end table.

... Unless you have a shepherd, then it could make a decent dining table. (It's HUGE!)

[lucieluv]

Dog Lady,

 

Everyone here has given you some really good advise. I am the proud momma to a BC-mix puppy that I rescued back in December. But, had I rescued Mattie ten years ago or even five years ago, I think I would have been forced to find her another home because I would not have been able to handle her. Between her "issues" and the simple fact that she is a BC-mix, she causes me heartburn, but that doesn't mean I love her any less. It just means my other dogs trained me on how to handle Mattie. As a matter of fact, just the other day, while I was home and in the house, she chewed up the vaccum cleaner cord because she was bored. It only took her about five seconds. And I don't think I agree with a house being too small for a dog. I live in a small dog house and we do just fine. I sometimes get covers on the bed. Put your foot (or paw) down and stand up for what you want. After all, sometimes in the end it may be you and the dog left standing.

[Beth G]

Sounds like your husband is a MAJOR part of the problem and maybe doesn't like this dog- or dogs in general.

 

Dogs can tell this too. I hope that he isn't stressing the heck out of the poor girl. You really need to sit down and talk with your husband about this dog. Stand up for her.

 

Being divided on this issue is no good for the dog, trust me. And it isn't for you both either.

 

Dogs are not decorations. They donot belong, stuck, in the backyard, like lawn furniture. Sorry if I am coming off too harsh Dog Lady, but people like that get me so steamed.

 

If a dog gets their proper dosage of daily excercise they can live in some pretty small spaces happily with their people- believe me. It's been done.

 

Good luck to you. My heart goes out to you and Sophia. At the risk of sounding rude- it sounds like your husband is one cold fish towards animals.

[Dixie_Girl]

Dog Lady that is great news. Little by little I am sure Sophie will win over DH. And the more she learns, the better she will be! I hope he warms up to her. It does make it easier! I can't imagine the fights in this house when Jackson was going through his chewing stage! In 3wks it looked like a troop of beavers had come through our house! Hang in there. It will get better!

[Claire Owen]

Thats so good to hear Dog Lady . I do not know your hubby and I'm sure he's a good guy but it does sound like he needs educating about this breed. I'm sure people here can tell or give you links to some BC horror stories of what they can do when left to their own devices etc which you could pass on. I know my hubby was pretty clueless and didnt want Bailey in the living room (or any where else besides the kitchen) at first until I started pointing out all the problems and then he wanted to take him back to the shelter . We got a crate (under the pretence that we needed it when we moved house hee hee ), its the best thing I ever bought! We are a success story- hubby now knows Bailey comes first !!! Purely because hubby doesnt create SO MUCH mess and destruction and doesnt become to much of a pain in the @ss when left to his own devices

You've made wonderful progress in just one week I hope it keeps getting better!!!

 

Claire

[Jodi]

Dog Lady -

 

Here's an idea... You said Sophie sleeps in the garage. Is your garage connected to the house? What about putting her crate in the garage? That way, you'll know that she's not chewing anything in there, and the crate won't take up any room in your house. I've got a "dog room" ... it's connected on one side to my dining room, and connected to the garage another. I have most of my crates in there (besides the ones I use as furniture in my house), and depending on the weather (the dog room is not insulted), my dogs sleep in there. When you come over, I'll show you my setup. And, if you'd like, I'll show you how I crate trained my dogs, and you can borrow one of my crates to try it out and see if it's something that works for you before you spend money on one.

 

Jodi

[Jack & Co.]

Beth G wrote

Sounds like your husband is a MAJOR part of the problem and maybe doesn't like this dog- or dogs in general.

On the contrary, I think he is thawing.

 

Dog Lady wrote

Dh is not against dogs just thinks our house is too small for indoor dogs.

There are people who don't care for dogs and I don't think this makes them bad people. My own parents are NOT dog lovers, but 3 out of 4 of their children own and love dogs. When I was growing up, my parents' experiences with dogs in our neighborhood were not too pleasant; our town did not have a leash law. There were 3 dogs in our neighborhood who barked nonstop, one bit the mailman, another chewed up a package delivered to their doorstep, not to mention that the beautiful yard that they slaved over was used as a dog restroom. (Of course, all the ultimate fault of the owners.)

 

I think the fact that Sophie gets to go to work with her (DH is her boss) and has been in the house more shows his progress. Dog Lady has never mentioned his past history with dogs but maybe he is like my sister who was bitten by a dog when she was young. She has given dogs a wide berth ever since, but she is a major cat lover.

 

Dog Lady and Sophie are making small inroads in finding Sophie a place in the family and as she continues to improve, I'm sure Dog Lady's husband will see her potential. Give him a chance.

 

Dog Lady - You've found a gem in Jodi! She is committed to making things work for your dog and your family! What a great resource!

[Beth G]

True. Like I said, I'm sorry to sound harsh.

 

Doglady I wish you luck. Sounds like you are going in the right direction. Let us know if you have any Q's or need an ear or some support. We are all always here for you!

[Allie Oop]

Dog Lady, I second Jodi's suggestion about putting a crate in the garage, if that is were Sophie sleeps. (I actually posted that on your related post in the BC Companions section.)

 

My spouse was NOT into crating at all (we'd never used it on on any of our previous dogs). He is still uncomfortable with the crate, but has realized its value after he lost $200 worth of outdoor furniture, BBQ covers, electrical wiring (not live at the time, fortunately :eek: ) and several other items, so he agreed to let me use one with Allie when we are away from home. Allie loves it and it is her safe haven. She sits in there with the door open all of the time, even when she doesn't need to be crated.

 

If you put it in the garage with nice blankets or a dog bed in it, she will have a comfortable and safe place to sleep (you don't even have to close the door) and your husband will get used to the concept of the crate. I also put in a favorite toy, and a biscuit ball, along with a full water bowl attached to the door).

 

Sounds like things are improving. I wish you good luck!

[Leigha]

I have been reading most all this post. I know where you are coming from and how you feel. You will learn quickly to watch what you type. If you don't want to hear negative answers then don't ask. Or ask it in another way. I have a GSD, a doxie, and a BC puppy. I am members of boards for all those breeds. You need to remember that these people LOVE their breed and want whats best for the dog. They may not always look at the whole picture because it would take you FOREVER to type everything. So from the bits and pieces you give they reach an opinion. My husband would rather all dogs be outside at all times because of how much dirt they track it (we live on 5 acres and have fields that surround out house) Mind you we do get LOTS of dirt but I have stood my ground and they still live in the house. My husband also didn't want kennels in the house because like you we lived in a small house. At that time we had two GSD's and a min pin. I ended up getting 1 large and 1 extra large kennel for free and again I stood my ground and put the kennels in the house. Our house was so small that we pretty much didn't have a dining room table. But he is used to the kennels now and we worked around them. We made them part of the house (printer table, end table, mail catcher and so on) Since then we have moved to a bigger house (thank goodness) and lost a few dogs to old age but my husband has realized kennels are a godsend. He makes sure ALL the dogs have one. Our old GSD doesn't need his anymore but he would use it if we still had it in the house. My BC pup at 9 weeks will go in her kennel for her naps. My doxie still uses her kennel to get away from the kids. So again they are a godsend and sometimes you need to stand your ground. Tell him its only temp. until she is housebroke. Thats what I did after I "secretly" brought them home. They make great end tables/nightstands like someone already said. Good luck on your venture. Hope you can budget some type of school for your BC.

[Dog Lady]

Again, many thanks to all replies.

I have an igloo in the yard for the GS, it sounds to me that the crate would be used much like a 'house'. Sophie is in the garage and if she has the need to pee then she could go out thru the dog door of the garage, (which is attatched to the house). I am assumming that if she were caged, then she would 'hopefully' try to hold until she were let out, and this would strengthen her hold!

Looking forward to spending some time with Jodi and her sheep, must take the camera this time it was so cute seeing Sophie with the sheep last time.

[Leigha]

Yes dogs don't like to go in there sleeping area's unless medical problem or in there forever and ever.

[fooshuman]

Dog Lady I am pleased you are trying to do right by Sophie. You have no idea how worried i was you'd just give up. (nothing personal it happens alot with these dogs) I truely hope you can talk the hubby into getting a crate. The best advice I can give you is to poke him in the eye and give him a swift kick in the pants!! J/K Seriously tho, there aren't any negative factors in crate training. It's just good for everyone. Heck Zag goes in his just to cool down. Sydney she wasn't to pleased with the thought at first. Now however she goes in without me saying it twice.

 

Anyway just wanted to give you a pat on the back!

[Joe Anne]

What are the winters like in Idaho? Aren't they d--- cold? Do these dogs still stay outside in the winter? Is your garage heated? I know my BC (and my other dogs),like the cold but they can come in whenever they choose, and they do get cold enough to come in, via the doggy door to warm up and get some luvin. BC's are rather small, how much room would she take up in your house? Dogs are not loners for the most part. I know my BC's have always wanted to be with us most of the time, and also choose to have some alone time too (just like us), but it's their choice.

I'm with Beth... dogs are a family member, period. I too get "steamed", about not letting dogs in the house.

As for people who "aren't dog people", not being bad people... does the same go for people who, "aren't, people-people", not being bad people, too???? hmmmm!???

For the most part, I'd take the company of dogs over people I know or have had the unfortune of meeting or hearing about, ANY day.

In my mind, REAL, dog people are truly of a different breed, of humans....and they are quick to be noticed by other REAL, dog people, whomever they may be. That is why I love these boards, dog loving people I can actually feel good about...most everyone here, gives me hope for humankind, afterall!

[Jack & Co.]

I wrote

There are people who don't care for dogs and I don't think this makes them bad people.

I am puzzled as to how this was perceived as a full-body slam against dog lovers, particularly since I used the words "who don't care for" and not "who hate dogs." I am completely in the dark about "people who aren't people-people"; where did that come from?

 

Dog Lady's husband is slowly coming around and I think with Jodi's help, Dog Lady is going to be able to make Sophie an enjoyable, indoor member of the family. He is a work in progress and he's not going to transform overnight.

[Jodi]

Winters in Boise are rather mild, for the most part. It rarely gets cold enough to snow, and when it does, it doesn't stick around very long. A couple of my dogs sleep in the uninsulated, unheated dog room, and a couple will sleep in my house (and I rotate them occasionally). Rarely does it ever get cold enough where I am concerned enough to have all the dogs sleep in the house. I would guess (I haven't seen her house) that Dog Lady's garage is warmer than my dog room. It's probably at least insulated.

 

In any event, Dog Lady came over my house last night, we worked Sophie on sheep, discussed crate training, and she borrowed one of my crates. In my observation, Sophie appeared to be much more bonded with Dog Lady this week than she was even last week -- looking to her for approval, and sticking by her side. It was obvious to me that something's going right.

 

I know that it's very easy to have an absolute opinion -- that everything absolutely gets done this way ... or that way. But if that were true, we would all be raising our dogs the exact same way. To me, it's all about what works for the dog and the people that are raising them. I think Dog Lady's doing a good job of making this work for Sophie by asking for help, listening to what people say, and using those pieces of advice that are do-able for her. And I agree with Jack & Co. It's going to take time.

 

Here's the photos of Sophie working sheep.

 

Jodi

[Jack & Co.]

Jodi - the pictures were great! Sophie is beautiful and looks right at home with sheep.

[Jodi]

Fooshuman, I don't think Dog Lady is going to give up. However, if after all her efforts, she feels that it's not working out (and only she would know that best), I have offered to take her. And there wouldn't be any shame in that for Dog Lady. She will know she tried her best to make it work. That's more than I can say for a lot of the owners of the rescues that pass through here.

 

Jodi

[muggs]

Nice-looking dog! I agree with Jodi - I think it's much more important to a dog what it's doing during it's "on" time than where it is during it's "down" time, as long as it has a comfortable place to call it's own.