Does it bother you when people grab your dog?

[Sky92x]

An inevitable fact of life: If you walk your dog where there are people: people will grab your dog.

 

But why can't people simply ask, "Mind if I pet your dog?" "Can I say hi to your dog?" etc.

 

The funny thing is - The only people that actually ask politely - are children.

 

On our walk through Tahoe City, many people grabbed our BC. Only one adult actually asked if she could say hi. (Very obviously a 'dog person') Of course we let her.

 

And children asked if they could pet the dog. (Every single child that wanted to pet Rezso, asked politely.)

 

I'm very happy to oblige and let people greet my puppy, but I really much prefer to give him the 'sit' command before a stranger gives him any attention.

[Root Beer]

Yes - it bothers me a lot.

[Sky92x]

Originally posted by Root Beer:

Yes - it bothers me a lot.

It can be dangerous, too. My old aussie cattle dog went through a stage at about a year old that lasted 2-3 months where he would BITE (not break skin, but you knew very well that you got bit) anyone that touched him (or me), if he was near me.

[Joe Anne]

Maybe try being assertive with people, and as they are approaching, TELL them to please do NOT pat your dog... until he sits.

How old is Rezsso? If he is less than 1 to

1 & 1/2 yrs old, he is in a very formative stage of his little life. Allowing people to just BAM... come up to him could create a fear, which in turn could cause some aggressive issues with certain people in the future.

Possibly shorten your lead and keep him much closer to you when in crowded areas. It is not rude on your part to tell someone, sorry no patting right now... TELL them he is in training and he must sit for greeting or just plain no patting at all, use your gut feeling and watch your dog. If your dog backs away from ANYONE, DO NOT, force him to say hi or allow that person to pat him. You back up with him and create a "safe" distance between him and whom ever he is trying to get away from. Give that person some treats or a toy to toss, and allow Rezso to approach them if he chooses, not the other away around.

As a trainer I have seen way too many people tell their pups "it's ok... cmon say hi", and pull or take their pup to the stranger or person of question (in the pups mind). I am not saying that you do that, just a little friendly advice with puppies/dogs and stranger's or other people Rezso is reluctant with, wanting to approach without asking, or waiting for Rezso to accept their pats.

[Dixie_Girl]

Jeeze, with Jackson it's a matter of me catching him before HE approaches someone. Everyone is his long lost friend and he sure is happy to see them again! Cheyenne never liked anyone. Unless they had food. Then they were her friend until they ran out and it was sorry, I don't know you! I have very seldom had her in a position to meet strangers though. Being a trucker dog, I didn't really want her to be friendly!

[SoloRiver]

I like to call those "drive-bys" -- you know, when people are walking past you in the opposite direction and they just kind of casually reach out and pet your dog while walking by. What the heck are they thinking?

 

To be fair, until I had a dog who minds that kind of thing it never would have occurred to me that it was a dumb thing to do.

 

When I am with Solo, I keep myself between him and strangers (for example, if I am walking to the right down the sidewalk I keep him on my right to avoid people approaching) and I am not shy about telling people not to pet him. If someone approaches and has that look on his/her face -- the "oh, what a cute doggie I cannot wait to fondle it" look -- I simply say, "He isn't friendly." If they persist I tell them that he was abused when he was younger and is afraid of strangers. This works.

 

Every now and again Solo will meet a stranger that he LOVES for no apparent reason (everyone else gets a fixed, dilated-pupil stare and maybe a growl). He actually got me a date this way once. Unfortunately, Solo has terrible taste in men.

[sandra s.]

Depends on what you mean by "grab". If someone simply pets her and she's ok with it, I let them do it. The more friendly people she meets, the better. If she's scared of someone and he doesn't react to her signals at all and keeps following her (ignorant or drunk or whatever), then I get between them and walk on.

Doesn't make me angry though, they mean well and don't know better. I much prefer that to the "stay out of my space" attitude you get in the cities sometimes...now that makes me sad. Give me well-meaning dog-grabbers any day

[Kat's Dogs]

"drive-bys" (nice name for them) bother me the most. Of course Dazzle doesn't care, she loves it, but it gets her attention off of me and what we are/were doing. And that could be bad. It REALlY bothers me. I was walking down the street the other day behind someone with a service dog (a really pretty GSD) and lots of people just reached out and petted him - a service dog!

One day these people will get a hand bitten off.

 

We do information booths with the dogs (Dazzle and one of the shih tzus) and sure enough, ALL of the kids ask "can I pet the doggie?" - but the adults never ask other then the occasional dog person. I just don't understand it...

[D'Elle]

Besides just grabbing or petting without permission, the other thing that really bothers me is someone giving Jes something to eat without my permission (which I stop immediately with a quick NO! that halts the person and the dog both)....or, if I say, "yes, he may have a treat, but he has to do something for it". And then the person says "Oh, no he doesn't!" and just gives it to him.

 

I have always done NILIF with Jes, and it works great. No big deal, he doesn't have to do a lot, just sit, or sit up, or lie down....anything. He's utterly accustomed to that. I think it's the height of rudeness to tell someone, basically, that how they are handling their dog is irrelevant to you, and just circumvent what has been requested. As if my own way of handling MY dog doesn't matter at all. It always makes me pretty annoyed. One person who does this is a friend, who keeps doing it even though I have talked to her about it, explaining why I do things this way. She just laughs and says "well, with me he doesn't have to do it". I am to the point of telling her she cannot give him a treat anymore at all unless she is willing to be respectful of how I do things with my dog.

Guess you can tell this is a pet peeve of mine!

[Root Beer]

To be fair, until I had a dog who minds that kind of thing it never would have occurred to me that it was a dumb thing to do.

Same here.

 

I'll never forget the time I was walking Speedy back in the town we used to live in and these two guys (I think they might have been a little drunk) were walking toward us. I called to them to give us space because Speedy doesn't like strangers (this was waaaaay back when he would hide behind my legs whenever anybody even looked at him).

 

The one guy called back, "That's Mabel and I can pet Mabel if I want to!" I knew Mabel - she was a mean bitch that the owners used to let roam the town at will. She was black and white but other than that she didn't resemble Speedy at all! You would be taking a big chance to go around trying to pet Mabel, anyway!

 

I called back that it wasn't Mabel, but the guy refused to believe me.

 

At that point I picked Speedy up and crossed the street and they didn't bother us anymore. Maybe that gesture convinced them because there is no way Mabel would have tolerated being picked up like that by some random dog walker!!

 

He's much better now, but I'm still careful about letting total strangers touch him. I hate when people try to insist. I know he's beautiful. I know he looks at folks with an expression that says "pet me!" But I also know he really doesn't like to be touched by strangers and I have to be a mean bitch about it sometimes!!

[Sky92x]

Yeah, the feeding thing is really irritating. So far I haven't run across much of that with Rezso - Only once, when I brought him into a dog-friendly convenience store, and the clerk made him sit for some sausage.

 

How about when random people give your dog commands? I'm with the school of 'say it, do it.' and NOT 'say it until he does it.' so that's pretty irritating too. "Sit, sit, sit? Sit! sit?" isn't going to teach him anything except "sit is meaningless"

 

I've already taught him a bad sit habit by pointing at him when I tell him to sit, (He picked up on that visual cue, so he isn't 100% from just verbal) and don't need it to get worse.

[nancy]

Yeah, Fergie is Miss Congeniality - assumes everyone really desperately wants to pat her and scratch her ears and throw her ball.

 

I do prefer that people ask if they can pat her just because I wouldn't wnat them patting me without permission. Heck, I always ask, even in Lithuania when I didn't speak Lithuanian and the folks with dogs didn't speak English. Amazing how far you can get with facial expressions and gestures.

 

Worst though, was when I was wlking Ferg down in the big older development below us. Two young kids were playing in the yard, with Mom and grandparents on the deck watching. They saw us and came into the driveway, a ways back, and asked if they could pat Ferg. I started to say they could - she was already sitting eagerly - when Mom came running and pulled them back and told them to leave the dog alone "or he'll bit you." I was shocked and told her that Ferg would never do that. But she insisted that she aways told the children that all dogs will bite them so that they'll leave dogs alone!

 

Geez Louise! Respect for dogs and their owners is one thing. Abject fear is another. For years those kids ran up on the deck when we walked by.

[Jordi44]

Well, depending on which of our dogs they did it to, it's likely to bother them a whole lot more - at least until we get the law suit for the dog eating them. My BC is the type we have to watch that he doesn't knock them down and lick them all over, but our others aren't. I always hate having to tell kids who ask so nicely if they can pet my daughter's Spitz mix that they can't, but she'd nail them in a heartbeat (fear biter) - but she's really cute so everyone does want to pet her.

 

You're right - kids any more usually are better, but I haven't had too much trouble with people just grabbing - maybe just reaching out - but usually they at least do it slowly. Course, if you notice, driving down the rode, who is the one riding a bike on the correct side - on the side, not in the middle of the road - and does things properly - KIDS! - not the adults in fancy biking clothes with the expensive racing bikes. I've seen more and more PSA's on TV trying to teach kids (and adults) how to act around strange animals. Now, if you really want annoying, try showing sheep at a fair. Every adult has to poke their fingers into the wool - half of them actually pawing and clawing it - until they totally destroy your grooming job - and then they laugh when you point it out to them - and go on to do it to the next one. Kids usually pat them. But don't get me started any more - it's too hot.

[nancy in AZ]

Originally posted by SoloRiver:

[QB]I simply say, "He isn't friendly." If they persist I tell them that he was abused when he was younger and is afraid of strangers. This works.

 

I used to try the diplomatic route when I had my Borzoi, who was a biter. Something inside me made me very reluctant to out and out tell people he was a biter. Maybe I didn't want him to get a bad rep.

 

It wasn't too long before I found out that subtlety was not in anybody's best interest-- so I learned to just come out and say point blank, "He bites". This after two separate incidences where he took someone's face in his mouth after they ignored my warning and crouched down face to face with him to pet him , one of whom was my old boyfriend, who showed me the hole in his upper lip when he shaved off his beard and mustache three weeks later. (I hadn't known til then that he had left a mark. He bore no grudge since he had been forewarned and they eventually became friends).

 

 

He actually got me a date this way once. Unfortunately, Solo has terrible taste in men.

/QB]

Melanie, this really got me LOL. I once got a date through my Borzoi (it's hard to be non-descript when you're walking a Borzoi)And I agree, his taste in men was not on par with mine.

[prosperia]

Most people don't even get a chance to ask if they can pet Jen. Maybe I should be the one asking. . ."Can my dog say hello?" She's another that thinks the whole world just cant wait to scratch and pet her. Only with adults though. She's not so sure about little kids. Most parents pick up on it, eventhough she doesnt outwardly show any obvious signs of distress. So I dont have to deal with to many grabby kids. Sometimes it happens though. So far we havent had any problems.

[SoloRiver]

This after two separate incidences where he took someone's face in his mouth after they ignored my warning and crouched down face to face with him to pet him, one of whom was my old boyfriend, who showed me the hole in his upper lip when he shaved off his beard and mustache three weeks later. (I hadn't known til then that he had left a mark. He bore no grudge since he had been forewarned and they eventually became friends).

 

I've been dating my current boyfriend for about two months now. Solo's been getting on very well with him and I'm relieved. (I guess the old boyfriend was good for something -- at least it got Solo used to having a big guy around.)

 

I did cringe the other day when he gave Solo a treat and then kissed Solo on top of the head. No harm, no foul. Whew.

[smileyzookie]

Riven used to back up and try ot get away from people who were forward to her. If she knows Im watching her and im ok with it, she is alright.

 

But it REALLY makes me irritated with the whole treat thing. Im working through a phase with Riven where she's offering 8000 different things but not the one trick Im asking of her and I will ignore her and not give her the food. My friends all think its the worst form of animal abuse. One even said "if you dont give it to her I will"!

 

Like my best friend thinks me ignoring Riven when I walk in the house now (she is too excited, I pay attention when she's calm)is stupid and so SHE'LL pet her and feed that excitement... :mad: makes me so angry. I wish other people would just freakin realize these dogs are our dogs, and we are allowed to train any way we want (within reason of course).

 

Sorry went off on the complaint train lol. I do think people just dont realize the dangers of just touching the dogs.

[Dixie_Girl]

DH is also one who feeds the dogs frenzy when he comes home! I come home and I am so happy to see them, but I ignore all untill I am done with the coming home stuff, then only pet the ones who have calmed down. It makes coming home alot better! When people come over, I try to tell them to do the same thing, but NO, they think it is cool the dogs are all happy to see them. Then I gotta be the bad guy when I have to make them quiet down! Dogs, kids, you always got someone who thinks you need to do things different.

[Kat's Dogs]

How about when random people give your dog commands?

Some of the kids (and even some adults) at our park see Dazzle there all the time - see me giving her commands - and some will just jump right it! "Dazzle! DAZZLE! sit down, SIT, DAZZLE! SIT! Sit Dazzle" You get the idea. I am amazed that she still knows her name - not to mention all of her commands.

[CoRayBee]

Originally posted by smileyzookie:

My friends all think its the worst form of animal abuse. One even said "if you dont give it to her I will"!

 

Lol...my friends all have working dogs so they all know the drill, but it's my FAMILY that I have to worry about. My older sister in particular- she insists on buying cheapo dog treats full of things I would not dream of feeding my dog and doles them out at will. I am getting mighty tired of politely reminding her just whose dog it is and that there are RULES.

 

As far as the strangers 'hugging' Barra...that bugs me too. Normally it's not a problem because Barra is usually totally indifferent to approaching humans when we're out walking. But...I was at a dog park one day when another dog owner- a total stranger- snuck up behind her while Barra was watching two other dogs playing. He made a sharp whistling noise and grabbed at her back end...and nearly lost his hand when Barra went for it. He was surprised that she would react with such intensity, but I was furious. What did he expect would happen when he snuck up on a strange dog? Moron. :mad:

[Maralynn]

How about when random people give your dog commands?

It kinda bugs me, but Missy doesn't always listen to others when they give her commands. My 13, 9 and 7 y/o siblings will ask me "why does she always do what you say?" because she only listens to them when she feels like it. I think they can learn to listen to one person and not another.

 

As for grabbing/petting, Missy can get intimidated by people just rushing up to pet her, so I usually stand in their way. If she seems comfortable with the situation I let her go up to them and get petted. If she is not comfortable, I explain that she was abused before I got her. She has actually gone from being uncomfortable most of the time, to being just fine with most kids and women, and about 50% of men. But I am constantly on the alert when I've got her out and about, so she doesn't get spooked by someone.

[stwilliams]

when people in my neighborhood our we out and about ask if the can pet my abby I say that she is working and he keep goingand don't stop. that way she know not to play with the kids or other poeple around

[nes]

Madison is a sweetheart but new people and some days ALL people can REALLY scare her. She used to piss herself whenever she saw children!! (the dog has problems we're working on them though - she doesn't pee herself as much any more).

 

So it REALLY bothers me when people go to pet her and don't ask, because I know when she's having a day when she doesn't want to meet any new people; and I worry one day someone big is going to scare her enough she will bite them.

 

She's also VERY protective of me when I'm alone at night (she's learned my SO can protect me so she doesn't have to, but when he's not around she's my angel ) so she makes it clear no one should be petting her

 

Not in a mean way! She's just saying "oh I don't know if I want you comming a whole lot closer, this is MY mommy!! and if you make me I'll protect her!" - she's been doing it since she was little and it's very cute, although very effective because at this stage she looks like a young rotti or doberman (tan eyebrows and muzzle).

 

Nes.

[Beth G]

Originally posted by nes:

Madison is a sweetheart but new people and some days ALL people can REALLY scare her. She used to piss herself whenever she saw children!!

 

Nes.

Last month at a park someone's kid grabbed Poppy and-you guessed it- he peed himself.

 

Now if someone approaches him he will turn his back or walk away. If he is scared he will come straight to me. If corned he will will not hesitate to growl and snap.

 

Don't you wish people gave as much warning???

 

I wish they'd just ask first- or leave him alone. All he wants is to be able to play a game of ball with Pepper and I without some ignorent human leaping in wanting to pat or throw the ball....

[painted_ponies]

For some reason, I've never had anyone pet Violet without asking first. I don't understand it, since she begins to flirt as soon as she sees a person - wags her tail, makes herself small and inviting. Maybe people think she's trying to lure them closer for some nefarious purpose. I don't know, but strangers always stand well clear of her and then some will ask, "er, is she friendly?"