Coloradogirl Posted July 16, 2006 Report Share Posted July 16, 2006 Have any of you or are any of you involved in foster/adopt program? We are turning in our paperwork Tuesday to foster and hopefully adopt a beautiful 2 year old girl. I just was hoping that if any of you have been through and or foster right now, you could give me some advice on what to and not to do. I am so nervous.........anxious.........excited.....and REALLY scared. We know that there is no gaurantee that we will get her or if we do that we will be able to adopt her, but if we do not try how would we ever know. Thanks in advance for any advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anda Posted July 17, 2006 Report Share Posted July 17, 2006 Good luck, Coloradogirl!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheStacks Posted July 17, 2006 Report Share Posted July 17, 2006 I have no advice for you but wish you luck. This is definately something DH and I are planning to do in a few years. I know it can be a long hard road, but worth it all in the end. Lauren Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2 Devils Posted July 17, 2006 Report Share Posted July 17, 2006 I have a cousin that was adopted many years ago. I have friends who just adopted their niece and nephew. All I can say is be patient with the child and just don't get your hopes up. I know that the adoption progress can be quite lengthy and many obstacles pop out. Good luck and hope it works out. I wish I could do the same but my hubby is afraid of the heartache if the adoption does not work out... he is a sap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coloradogirl Posted July 17, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2006 It has taken 2 years for my husband to come along. He is still scared of the heartache we may go through, but I think of the neglect and abuse that this little girl has been through, that my heart dosent seem to be quite as important, and if we get her to foster and things dont work out to adopt, atleast we had her and made (hopefully) some sort of difference....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jordi44 Posted July 17, 2006 Report Share Posted July 17, 2006 I have a brother-in-law that they adopted 2 girls from Belise. Not the same thing, but I know it took them 2 years (give or take a few months) to get everything in order to get them. They did get lucky in that about the time the paperwork, etc. was through, they found out about the second one - and so they got her "easily" - since everything was in the works and almost done for the first (apparently it's one set for all?). I don't know alot about it - we only see them once or twice a year at most, but if you'd like to email them, I could see if they would? These girls were 2 and 3 (somewhere in that range) when they got them. If you're interested, email me privately and I'll see if I can get through to them (their email crashes a lot). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smileyzookie Posted July 17, 2006 Report Share Posted July 17, 2006 Originally posted by Coloradogirl:It has taken 2 years for my husband to come along. I wish you so much luck. My husband still hasnt. He grew up in Guatemala and I guess in Guatemala, Adopting is something for "single" people and "married" people have kids and if they cant (my case) then God doesnt want them to. ARGH :mad: He's softening though, hopefully I can get him to see my side. Im a mother with no kid - and lemme tell you it sucks. His parents wont even discuss it with me. I've tried and his father said basically, you wont change my mind, and I wont change yours so Im not talking to you about it. I hope you do have all the best luck with this situation. Keep us updated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coloradogirl Posted July 17, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2006 Smileyzookie, I am sorry, but dont give up it just takes men a bit longer to "soften". My husband has told me this is our one and only chance, if we do not get her then he will not try again. Men I think, (men reading this correct me if I am wrong) for the most part do not understand that clock we as women have ticking, they do not understand that alot of times the want to mother is so strong it is hard to control. I also think that alot of it is a self preservation thing and not wanting to be vulnerable and not have complete and total control over the situation. I know that is where my DH was and to a point still is. Hang in there I bet he will come around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jordi44 Posted July 19, 2006 Report Share Posted July 19, 2006 Maybe you need to explain to them how much easier it is on them if you adopt than if you were pregnant - like all the times you want to kill them for doing that to you (or any other stupid thing that happens to annoy you), all the things they have to do that you can't while pregnant (like clean litterboxes - got my hubby on that one), driving you to the hospital (hopefully at a time you have to wake them from a sound sleep), all that good stuff. Just explain all the advantages of adoption to them - then let them spend time talking to some hubbies that had "horrible" experiences with pregnant/delivering wives - and try to set it up so they really get it rubbed in good. It's all in the presentation. Good luck and hope it all goes well for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dixie_Girl Posted July 19, 2006 Report Share Posted July 19, 2006 Also, remind him that if it is a matter of "blood", you are not blood related, but he still loves you, so where is the diff? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coloradogirl Posted July 19, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2006 So we met with SS today, and turned in paperwork, got finger printed for the FBI background check (I had worked for the police dept. and my husband on the runway at D.I.A. (post 9-11) ) so we have both been cleared previously. We have our first meeting and home visit in the next 2 weeks, classes August 18 and 19th, oh CPR 8-14 and first aid class Sep. 1st. After our FBI checks and the classes on the 18-19 we will have our certificate to foster and adopt. It is moving soooo fast. She will be in our home for 2 weeks in about 2 weeks so the foster mom can enjoy county fair and go out of state the following week. We will also be at county but my daughters are 18 and 16, and they dont allow me to touch their cattle since about 6 years ago when I clipped (which is a real art form, and I am not artistic) and the calf ended up bald........ They are supposed to have hair it is kinda like a beauty show for cattle. Also if the time line plays out looks like we will have her for State Fair also. I am a little scared, because other then my nephew who is 2 and a holey terror, I have not had babies in this house. Lots of stuff to do!! well that is about it for now. Tracy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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