Jack & Co. Posted August 29, 2006 Report Share Posted August 29, 2006 One more thing.....I read back to refresh my memory and Sheryl's husband should be called on the carpet! Instead of taking a stand, he agreed that she would keep the dogs outside (don't know if this was a "relocation") while his sister is visiting. It seems to me that if he is old enough to be married and have his own family then he is old enough to stand up to his sister and not let her dictate how things will be done at his house. It sounds like his sister thinks they are still kids and she can push him around, but Sheryl is now included as one of her doormats. Sheryl, tell your husband to put his foot down and quit making you do his dirty work! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodenlion Posted August 29, 2006 Report Share Posted August 29, 2006 Give her the phone numbers of a local hotel and caterer. This women is out of line and definitely needs to learn boundaries. In my opinion she made 3 serious errors. Inviting herself, making demands regarding your dogs, and presuming to throw herself a party in your home. You should not be forced into doing anything to keep the peace, maybe too many people have been trying "to keep the peace" with this women and as a result have created a monster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dal & Mad's Mom Posted August 29, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 29, 2006 Sheryl, tell your husband to put his foot down and quit making you do his dirty work! Ha ha Dont I wish I think she is the only person in the world he wouldnt fight with for some reason. He would rather me scream than tell her off. I've firmly decided Jewel leaves the borders stay. Maddie will have to be crated at food time but, she is staying. I loved the poem I should get a sign like that for the door. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nancy Posted August 29, 2006 Report Share Posted August 29, 2006 Heck, I could have used that poem, slightly edited, when I had 3 kids around. Well, I did also have a dog and 2 cats. Reminds me of the line aboutwhatever neighbor woman'sfloor was so clean you could eat off it. My response was always that I aimed for my table to be clean enough to eat off (no finger paints, cat hair, sewing patterns, science projects....). That I wanted to be sure people knew to walk on the floor and eat at the table. Tell DH that he can host his sister and her friends. You and the dogs are going on vacation for the day. And you'll stay on vacation until the place is cleaned up. And do it. We may be a drive, but we have a guest room! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BustopherJones Posted August 29, 2006 Report Share Posted August 29, 2006 Reference Julie's post above...I'll go along with what she said... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silhouettestable Posted August 29, 2006 Report Share Posted August 29, 2006 Wow, the nerve of some people. I have a woman who boards a couple of horses with me who used to seem to think she could just tap on my door and walk right in any time she wanted to talk to me. Then she'd tell my dogs to "scoot!" I stopped even trying to make them stay away from her and settle down and started locking my screen door (with the pretense that I didn't want the dogs to accidentally bump it open). It didn't help that when the dogs were out in the yard she'd first call their names in a high pitched squeally voice and get them all excited. For other guests I'll usually put the dogs in the yard for a few minutes until the guests get in the front door and find a place to sit and then let the dogs in and make them settle. But for that woman, if the dogs are in the yard and I see her heading my way I'll often call the dogs into the house so they can all "greet" her. I figure if she wants to wind them up she'd better be prepared to deal with the consequences. That's what you get for inviting yourself into my home. "Dogs Live Here" Lol! I'm not unreasonable though when invited guests visit. We've had large family gatherings for holiday dinners etc. and not everybody was comfortable with sitting on the couch and having our 2 great danes we used to have at face level. When planning a big gathering I'd plan for the dogs too and get them smoked bones to occupy them. They were more than happy to remain in the back of the house, in the bedrooms with their bones. If they wanted to carry them out into the middle of things I'd just close a baby gate across the hall and everything was fine. My home is going more and more "to the dogs" and now I basically don't have company unless they're dog people! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue R Posted August 29, 2006 Report Share Posted August 29, 2006 Perhaps you've seen this before but it came in an email from a friend and fellow dog-lover: To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets 1. They live here. You don't. 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.) 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an a adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. That said, when I'm expecting company (or family) I try to vacuum up the dog hair, dirt, and other debris, and get the place picked up. If the dogs will be a bother, I crate them because I love my relatives and friends, too, and want them to feel comfortable in my home. The golden rule, and all that. But none of them gives me an "ultimatum" or the welcome mat would no longer be out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karrie Posted August 29, 2006 Report Share Posted August 29, 2006 Ok first off is your name DOORMAT. She is WRONG! 1st to invite herself ( this can be ok since she is family. I realize this is a borderline issue.). 2nd She invites or gets you invite others ( I take it people as in her friends etc). HELLO. IS SHE PAYING RENT ETC.? 3. Has you pay for the food? Even worse take out not expectable? Hello. Ahha Now is the time for either no food in the house, or have her fork over the money for the groceries, or sub in salt for sugar and exlax brownies. 4.Telling you to relocate your dogs. Does she own the home/ does she own the dogs? Time to set MS. DIVA straight. YOUR HOME NOT I REPEAT NOT HERS. I do put my dogs up when some folks come over. One Libby is not a problem herself but she will rub up to you and you will be covered in dog hair. Sam is fine unless he decides you kinda move like sheep. The cats have a run of the house. Now if someone is allergic, I would remove critter so other areas or crates. As for Christmas, with the party/gathering at your house I can see you relocating the dogs. That is a lot of activity and although you know your dogs you can't predict all guests behaviors. I'm the guest critters beg food off of ( unless I know they are not allowed). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nancy Posted August 29, 2006 Report Share Posted August 29, 2006 Yes, I agree with Julie. But, if DH says what his sister wants is OK, I still say it's up to DH to deal with it. Bless the powers that be that none of our relatives would consider anything similar to this even marginally acceptable. In town, in state, in country, on the globe. Heck, when we travel to visit relatives, we ask about the nearest appropriate motel - and are royally pleased if staying at the house is an invitation. Just because one has a spare room does not guarantee that one is feeling like having guests. Unless one runs a B&B. And then we pay. And if it comes with pets (the place in Glastonbury, where we could change rooms if the lay-lines were a problem or the house cats were a bother - they were not - comes to mind) the more we enjoy staying there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
painted_ponies Posted August 30, 2006 Report Share Posted August 30, 2006 I agree it's hubby's place to deal with it, since she's his sister. BUT bullies don't generally come from families who are good at standing up to them - that's how they get to be bullies in the first place. No offense - we have some old dragons in my family, too. So I'm afraid it's up to you to tell her exactly what you're willing to do and stick to it. Julie's right - if you keep giving in to her, her next demand will only be more outrageous. I'd advise being calm and polite as this type of old trout often enjoys thinking they've stirred someone up. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy525 Posted August 30, 2006 Report Share Posted August 30, 2006 You could also use "bracing" like Liz has told me to use on fearful dogs. Just as I am using on my kindergartener who doesn't want to go to school. "I understand your feelings, dear (lie lie) SIL, but it just isn't possible. I wish I could do that for you, but I can't." This is my often used phrase for saying "NO!!" to the two million things people want me to do on top the two million things I am already doing!! Done with a smile, you are being nice, but ASSERTIVE. I am sorry you are stuck with this person as your relative. Setting boundaries is the best way to deal with her. Your mom should love you enough to support you in that. Maybe you should ask her if she loves your brother more than you?? That should set her off and push some of her buttons!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katydid & Furry Friends Posted August 30, 2006 Report Share Posted August 30, 2006 Can always tell a white lie....mom will take Jewel but not the other 2. Which isn't true as we live 2 miles away and they don't want to go home when the BC are here playing. They all get along well and travel together constantly. I did say keep peace ...their Mom is dead and she visits very seldom she's really coming to see the kids. I'm sure she's a B---- to my daughter but sometimes she sulks with the best. So put out food let the other relatives come and make the best of it life is too short!!! We'll do something fun when their gone with the dogs. Ps most times I like the dogs & grandkids best And you Dixie stop giving her ideas !!!! LOL Katie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dixie_Girl Posted August 30, 2006 Report Share Posted August 30, 2006 Awww, Miss Katie, I was only kidding! Note to Sheryl: I gotta remember your mom can see what I write. Devious ideas will now be sent PM! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dal & Mad's Mom Posted August 30, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 30, 2006 Devious ideas will now be sent PM! Ha things must be slow at work for mom.lol Dixie your comments make me laugh keep making them. BTW I think mom and I have an agreement to never agree.lol It works for us to we get along. Like I said the compromise is Jewel the PIA leaves the borders stay. They are fun anyway they fetch and loved to be petted without being a pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsPalmer Posted August 30, 2006 Report Share Posted August 30, 2006 Why in the world does she WANT to come over anyway? to visit her brother? ugh I'd be pissed off too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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