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Yard ornaments ARGH!!


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Perhaps it's because I live in a retirement mecca and those folks seem to love them in their yard...I don't know ...But I've had it. Ok a bit of a rant but I've had a tough night. We're on our usual ..Let's see what's going to pop out of no where and scare the crap out of us nightly walk...and we're doing great so I decide let's try this new block over here. We're doing really well....and then we round a seemingly boring corner only to encounter...get this.... a life size iron statue of Ghengis Kahn. :D Well needless to say Jedi hid behind me and would not budge. Frankly, I don't blame him. I see no purpose for it except to scare unsuspecting border collies..really :D

 

Earlier in our walk I had tried to desensitize both dogs to the presence of a cat and it worked. At one point they walked past it without looking. Well this stupid cat (I apologize to all cat lovers) followed us and planted itself right in the middle of the street in front of us :rolleyes: So my evil twin emerged and said...Ok guys enough is enough..Let's go get im!..

Uhhhh...I don't think that cat will follow us again. :D

 

So what sort of strange things do your dogs react to?

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So what sort of strange things do your dogs react to?

 

Sollers just hides his face behind our knees like a little kid....he usually "warms up" to whatever odd thing/dog/person it is pretty quick.

 

Kip: Ahhh, those Evil Bassett Hound Agents of Doom.... :rolleyes: And, the Shark (the lightweight carpet sweeper)...evil space alien thing trying to eat the floor that must be barked at and nipped into submission.

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Quynn is brave with big sheep, bossy sheep and didn't look twice at a cow eight or ten times his size(don't think we want to get into his reaction to the donkey, however. He was not as intrepid upon being assaulted by it.), but it's the little things that spook him. During this past halloween(and far too long after :rolleyes: ) our neighbors had a ghost rigged high up in one of their trees, on a branch that extended partially over the road. It was a fluttery and quite large. Quynn and I walk by almost every day, and no matter how many times we passed that stupid ghost he would completely lose it, barking, growling and letting that ghost know that one flutter in the wrong direction would mean the last time it ever startled an innocent Border collie.

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whoa boy have I got some doozies for you. Comes from living in a town best known for hippie-spawning. Whadya think of these guys: berkSculpture2.jpg or berkSculpture3.jpg , or these berkSculpture1.jpg ?

 

Of course, equally problematic are the life-sized statues of bears (our uni mascot) and former football coaches. Oh, and one can't forget the panhandlers and junkies :rolleyes:

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Well, since we are in Calgary, it's only fitting that people like the whole "country western" thing. There are Cowboy cut outs that line peoples fences and balconies that Daisy hates. And during stampede week you get the cut outs of livestock too, that drives her bonkers, raindeer at christmas. Basically any solid coloured cut out makes her go off the deep end. Then there is the cloves of garlic hanging above my sink, well, those better not move, EVER. And bf's cell phone, not mine, just his...they are identical, except in colour?!

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Well, since you asked....

 

Long ago and far away, in a small Montana college town, I lived near a guy who had a fake tombstone in his yard that read:

 

HERE HE LIES

COLD AND HARD

THE LAST DAMN DOG

THAT SH-T IN MY YARD

 

My dog didn't care a whit, but it scared the pants off of me - I didn't even like to walk down that street. This was twenty years ago, and as you've seen, the exact words are still burned into my skull.

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Well, since you asked....

 

Long ago and far away, in a small Montana college town, I lived near a guy who had a fake tombstone in his yard that read:

 

HERE HE LIES

COLD AND HARD

THE LAST DAMN DOG

THAT SH-T IN MY YARD

 

My dog didn't care a whit, but it scared the pants off of me - I didn't even like to walk down that street. This was twenty years ago, and as you've seen, the exact words are still burned into my skull.

 

 

:rolleyes::D:D:D:D

 

And those statues! I couldn't believe it. Ok..thanks so much ..Now I feel better :D

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Well, since we are in Calgary, it's only fitting that people like the whole "country western" thing. There are Cowboy cut outs that line peoples fences and balconies that Daisy hates. And during stampede week you get the cut outs of livestock too, that drives her bonkers, raindeer at christmas. Basically any solid coloured cut out makes her go off the deep end. Then there is the cloves of garlic hanging above my sink, well, those better not move, EVER. And bf's cell phone, not mine, just his...they are identical, except in colour?!

 

The next time you are in Lethbridge drive by the library. If they are still there your dog will enjoy the numerous minature horse cut-outs, my oldest dog goes wild. Stampede week scares me.

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One family down the street has several smaller Victorian statues (statuettes) around their raised beds. Alex gives them the I'm not sure what that is and I don't want any in our yard look.

 

What does get her going is this: The neighbor across the way has a larger than life inflatable Santa and you can see him from our bedroom window. One day Alex was looking out and saw Santa coming to life. That was just a bit too much for her.

 

Esox

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We are bicyclists and have a ride we call Tour de Lawn Ornaments. There are more Dutch children - both the Campbell soup variety and the Dutch Boy paint style - pairs of frogs on benches, and small deer on that ride than could possibly be legal.

 

A few years ago, some itinerant lawn ornament painter must have come through. Because, that summer, all the deer became copper-colored. There's also a set of bright red & white flamingos.

 

And I grew up in Massachusetts, where we had bathtub Madonnas. Take an old bathtub, imbed it in the lawn with the faucet side in the ground. Paint the inside blue. Then insert a statue of the Madonna. Rather nice recycling.

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...a life size iron statue of Ghengis Kahn.

:rolleyes:

OK, that's soooo far beyond the usual garden gnome and nuclear nativity* theme so common around here, that I have to ask... Where does one find such a statue?

 

The weirdness around here is usually things like nulcear nativity scenes in high-summer. There's an animated reindeer down the street - one of the motorized wire-frame jobs - mounting a non-motorized reindeer. Still. In early summer. That's probably the strangest.

 

 

 

*Illuminated nativities. As in - Someone dropped the bomb, and now baby Jesus glows in the dark... Sometimes accompanied by a nuclear Santa and or nuclear snowmen.

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I guess I think on a different level. The strangest yard ornament I've found since I don't have many neighbors was a set of calf legs connected by skin and fur. I was walking out to check on the sheep late at night with no flashlight and tripped over them. Kinda freaked me out till I figured out they weren't sheep leggs and I didn't find the rest of the calf, but the dogs didn't even notice.

 

Now when I first started doing this sheep thing that would have turned my stomach and scarred me half to death. I'm much more capable of keeping my witts together now. I picked them up and walked over to the living room window and started dancing them around till the fam. noticed and had a good laugh. Not them but me. They of course thinnk I'm crazy!

 

Darn LGD's bring me all kinds of sweet stuff! I have a collection of cow skulls out there, my son likes them so saves them and puts them on the fence posts. Guess I'd go in the weirdo yard ornament catagory!

K~

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I live on an island in Puget Sound and our strangest ornaments, can't call them lawn.....er yard?

 

Are flotsam and jetsom styrofoam carved into a mermaid.

 

And I live in Frog Hollar. One lady down the road wanted to be included in the hollar but the mayor told her you don't really live in it.

 

So she invented Flamingo hallor and put up a bunch of home made flamingos!

 

The we had a young man the hitch hiked with a chain saw, his father had taken the blade off of, ( He was mentally ill, hitch hiking kept him out of trouble, but did scare the poor tourists.)

 

When he died someone made him a chain saw sculpture life sized. It wears all kinds of hats. And is at the side of the road with its uh finger out.

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Koda doesnt like statues very well either and gives a bark with a growl every now and again. Zakky couldnt care less about much but doesnt care for parked cars and always gives them a wide distance when on walks. I know its going to happen so I just give him 10 foot clearance and hes fine. He doesnt chase them, doesnt mind ours but stares everyone elses down when walking around. If its moving he acts like he doesnt even notice it - bizarre.

 

As for crazy stuff in peoples yards, there was a lady we called Crazy Mary back in high school. This lady (who was definately nuts) would come out and scream at you if you even walked on the sidewalk in front of her house - she was wicked mean. She had several mature trees in her front yard and had hundreds (not kidding) of toys hanging from them.

 

Ryan

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