Struggling with new puppy - advice needed!

[katchambers]

Hi everyone,

 

I introduced myself and Cali last week, but this week myself and my husband are having a really hard time and would like some advice.

 

We don't have children and this is our first dog/puppy so we have never had to be this selfless before, which I am sure is difficult for first time parents of children or puppies.

 

We need some advice on lots of aspects:

We need space from her, but because she is in her crate all night while we sleep (approx 7 hours) we feel it is cruel to put her in the crate during the day or evening, unless we have to go out, when we are in the house, if she is being particularly naughty we put her in the crate for like 15 mins as a time out. However, is it ok to leave her in the crate for a couple of hours in the evening so that me and my husband can have some peace or get stuff done? Or is that cruel?

 

She isn't really left alone very often because I work from home. So our routine at the moment is my husband takes her out and feeds her in the morning while he gets ready for work, then puts her in the crate when he leaves at around 8:30am. I then come down and let her out of the crate, take her outside again at about 9:30am. She then comes up to my office with me, with all her toys and stays with me all day while I work. This is quite difficult with a puppy as she often gets into mischief. I take her out several times during the day ( to the garden as she hasn't had her 2nd injection yet) and feed her lunch. Then, because I have had her all day, my husband looks after her most evenings, although some evenings I have her. When my husband has her downstairs I get to chill out upstairs. However, since my husband works all day, and then has to take care of her all night, most nights he is getting very tired and irritated, and if I have her all day and then all night too, then I also get tired and irritated.

 

Don't get us wrong though because we love her very much, and we don't regret getting her, it is just a big adjustment, we don't have any friends or family who have puppies, only older dogs so they don't understand, which is why we need advice.

 

She behaves badly most of the day, she is always biting us, and breaks skin quite often, even though we are doing the 'Ow' thing so she knows she has hurt us. She chews everything up even though she has loads of toys. We give her as much attention as we can, we play with her, and teach her things, we play fetch in the garden, and we let her get her sleep, but she is just very difficult a lot of the time and it is wearing us out! She is also doing her business all over the house, so we are trying really hard to make her go outside.

 

I guess we just need to know that we are doing things correctly and we just need to know what we should do so that we can get some space, otherwise we just get angry and take it out on her, which is not fair as she is just a puppy and doesn't know any better.

 

Thank you in advance, from 2 tired new parents.

 

Thanks

Kat x

[ShoresDog]

It's not cruel to put Cali in her crate. She is 9 weeks old now, right? Juno spends a good 2 to 3.5 hours in her crate in the middle of the day, napping and chilling. She's 14 weeks old now, and when she was 9 weeks old, she had two of these big nap/chill sessions per day in her crate. She's got lots of toys and chew things in her crate, which is a big 30" x 40" wire crate that is in the kitchen so she's not isolated. She likes her crate and goes into it to lie down on her own when she's tired. Try to make the crate as attractive as possible and a good experience for Cali, but definitely give her some down time. Like a baby, a little puppy needs the rest! Also, as she gets older she will be able to do serious damage in an incredibly short time by chewing if she's left unsupervised. So until she is fully teethed and a bit older, she will need to be crated regularly to save your sanity!

 

For what it's worth ($0.02?), this is my philosophy from when my children were little, which I'm now applying to puppy Juno: Within the bounds that you love them and want the best for them, you don't want to let them behave in ways that stress you out or make you unhappy. The best thing for a child/puppy is a happy, calm, rested and engaged parent/owner. With my children, the corollary to that was, you didn't want to let them behave in ways that would annoy a teacher. The puppy corollary is probably something to the effect of wanting to keep your friends!

 

Good luck! And remember how fast they grow!

[Pat W.]

Definately what ShoresDog said crate time during the day is a good thing. Like young children puppies can become over stimulated and they dont know how to settle themselves so mom and dad have to show them. Biting is a major NO in my house unless I voluntarily put my hand in your mouth, teeth do not touch flesh. Start teaching a No Bite command right now, if she's nippy, offer a toy or chewie for distraction, if that does not work then a time out in her crate with a chewie for a bit is the result. If at all possible I would have a crate in your office or where ever you spend most of your day so she doesn't feel isolated. In the evening when you want to settle down again give her a toy or chewie and have the crate in the tv room or again where ever you spend the majority of you time. Also in the evening I would start taking her water up around 8 - 9 pm about 2 hours before you go to bed, that way it will cut down on the trips outside to potty in the middle of the night. As the mother of 2 human kids and 4 canine babies through the years it can be trying, she will test her limits and push your buttons, but by far in both species it is more than well worth the effort.

[Ms.DaisyDuke]

Um, I will second what both above posters said! It's not cruel to crate durring the day. They too need down time, whether they know it or not!

I don't have any additional advice, but mostly support as you will get better advice from the more experienced BC puppy owners here. Daisy is my first BC. When she was a pup, a few times I would be left home alone with her at night and a good 6 hours of free lance work to do, there were a couple of times my night ended in tears. Mostly due to work stress, but it adds up right?! Work 8 hours, go home for another 6 hours of work and a puppy. It will get better and you will look back and have this rediculous urge to get another one! lol Stick together and know it won't last forever, and once she's grown up a bit you will have one fantastic dog!

[Maralynn]

She behaves badly most of the day, she is always biting us, and breaks skin quite often, even though we are doing the 'Ow' thing so she knows she has hurt us.

 

It's not behaving badly so to speak, but being a puppy. Puppies bite, puppies chew. She doesn't know she has hurt you, only that her behavior is getting a response from you. Redirect her to appropriate things to chew on and is she gets to wound up biting at you say a loud "ow' and give her a 2 minute time out in the crate. That way she learns her behavior has an undesired effect for her - she bites, you say ow, and all the fun ends now.

 

If you want some space in the evenings, I'd take her out and play with her good first thing in the evening, then give her a nylabone or something like that to chew on and put her in her crate for an hour or so, getting her out out for some more fun time before bed (just don't get her too wound up and excited right before bed!)

[bc4pack]

Are you crating her in the bedroom at night? Or is she by herself in another part of the house?

[Shetlander]

I don't blame you for being exhausted if you feel you must have a puppy underfoot all day long. Yikes! That would make me nuts. When Quinn was a puppy, he slept in his crate at night. I got up early to give him extra time to go out, eat, go out, play, go out. Then he was crated for most of the rest of the day while I worked. When he was very little, like Cali's age, he was taken out to potty every few hours. And he got a nice little break to play and potty and eat at noon. Then he was back in the crate. Since he was crated most of the day, I tried to keep him out all evening. A few days a week, Quinn came to work with me but he still spent most of his time crated when he was very young. Otherwise, I'd either never would have got any work done or he would have been getting into all kinds of mischief and practiced bad behaviors.

 

By any chance, did you ever check your thread on housebreaking? There are a number of suggestions on how to get Cali to stop "doing her business all over the house." If you are trying to work and at the same time allow her too much freedom, you may be making it much harder for her to learn what you want and it will take longer for her to be housebroken. Plus I know I'd be frustrated cleaning up unnecessary messes in addition to the extra time already involved that goes into raising a young puppy.

[silhouettestable]

I agree with everything already posted, but will add a couple more ideas. I'm also home all day, work from home and have always had my pups underfoot so to speak. I teach them to have an "off switch" by timing when I expect them to settle with their natural cycle of eating, playing and napping. If I want some downtime myself, whether it's to work on the computer, have a nap or a bath or whatever, I make sure that the pups are at the stage where they've already eaten and played and are ready to nap. Then it's into the crate, or lie by my feet with something to chew on. If I want a bath or shower, either the pup is crated or goes into the bathroom with me and will usually snuggle up on my clothes for a nap if I leave them on the floor (so far, through several pups I've had no problems with chewing my clothes, but there is that potential I suppose). When I do crate I always toss in a treat and something to chew and tell the pup to go to bed, which since they're already sleepy they're happy to do. After a while of timing the crating for when they're already sleepy, they will learn that crate time is down time and they view their crate as their bed or den.

 

For inappropriate chewing I'd suggest using something like a "no!" or "ahh, ahh!" command, taking the inappropriate item away and substituting an acceptable toy or chew and praising when the pup takes it.

 

If you want to keep the pup near you but confined when you're working, an exercise pen would also work instead of a crate, or even an x-pen attached to the crate for a bit more safe space to play. If the pup is distracting to you and looking for attention try stuffing a kong and that will help keep her occupied and let you work in peace. She will be busy with her kong but will know you're nearby so she'll be happy.

 

The first few weeks are always the hardest with a new puppy. Setting a routine, getting her to used to the routine etc. It's so much easier to prevent problem behaviours than to deal with them later, so it's well worth the crating/penning and extra time spent monitoring her now, rather than having to deal with hyperactivity, inappropriate chewing etc. later. Take it from someone who's survived a multitude of puppies over the years. I currently have a 6 month old BC, two 14 month old BC's, two 2 1/2 year old mixbreeds, a 3 1/2 year old BC/lab and a 7 year old collie, all raised in my house from pups (and yes, the house is still standing and I'm alive to tell the tale!) Right now while I'm on the computer I have a couple napping by my feet and some of the others are upstairs and the rest in the backyard. If I decide to have a nap several of the dogs will hop up on the bed with me for naptime, the rest around it. They like to be everywhere with me, but if it's quiet time for me, it's quiet time for them too. Your pup can also learn this. Good luck with her.

[Ninso]

Great tips so far! I just wanted to add some encouragement. I went through that adjustment period not too long ago, though my boy came to me as an adult. It is definitely a big change to have a dog in the house and takes some getting used to and some adjusting of schedules and routines no matter how well the dog behaves. I learned early on that if I am getting frustrated the best course of action is a little time-out for both of us. Better to have the dog happily occupied in her crate than you getting angry with her. She can't expect to have your full attention 24/7 and it is safer for her (and your furniture!) to spend her free time in the crate till she learns how to behave.

[bc4ever]

LOL! This sounds very familiar! The first few months we had Scooter, we blocked off the kitchen and dining room area with large boards so he couldn't get into too much trouble, then one of us would sit in the kitchen and play with him or just watch him while the other one sat in the living room. That got old very quickly. At times we'd both try sitting in the living room together, but Scooter would get antsy and he was too short too see over the board and started trying to climb over it, or knock it down. We also had a baby gate across the door to the laundry room, so he was free to move around, could see out, and his crate was in there too. That worked pretty well for a while till he started chewing on the drywall (boredom, puppyhood) It is tiring and frustrating at times, but it's sooo worth it if you can hang in there. They don't need your constant attention (I think most of it was our problem--we wanted to play with him!!) And if you're busy and can't keep an eye on your new pup, the crate is the safest place for him. At this age, I personally wouldn't recommend putting much of anything in the crate with him--we put soft blankets, etc. in Scooter's cage only to find them torn up the next morning, and I never put food in his crate. If he's doing his thing inside, you may not be taking him out as often as he needs, especially if you're working on something. It's easy to get involved and not realize how long it's been since the little guy has been out. You learn as you go what works best with your Border Collie, and read, read, read everything you can get your hands on about raising a rambunctious BC puppy! And of course, keep coming back to the boards here. Lots of knowledgeable people willing to share their advice and experience. Take a deep breath. You'll be good "parents."

[Shetlander]

They don't need your constant attention

 

That is such an important point. I credit Quinn's "down time" in his crate while he was growing up for much of his wonderful off switch. Of course, it is important to alternate that crate time with play, training, exploring the world, & just hanging out together. I think once you find the right balance of activity and rest in a schedule that works for you, life becomes much easier. Also with each passing day, the puppy is building a few nanoseconds more of an attention span. That helps enormously too.

 

Another thing that helped Quinn learn how to chill out as a baby I discovered by accident. In the evenings, I'd put him on my lap for brief grooming sessions. He was usually fast asleep by the time I finished. When he'd get wound up in the evening and I thought he needed to take a break, I started putting him on my lap with a nylabone to chew. Just like when I was brushing him, he'd soon fall asleep for a nap. You pick up little tricks like that as you get to know your puppy.

[katchambers]

Thank you all very much for your great advice. I think we are going to use the crate a bit more, now that we know it is not cruel to leave her in there from time to time. She is lovely and I know she doesn't know any better but to poop and pee and chew and bite, but she will learn in time. I hope that being able to take her out for walks will calm her a little, if she ever gets used to her lead!

 

Thanks

Kat x

[Pat W.]

to get her use to wearing a lead try putting it on her while shes out of her crate, let her drag it along with her. Leave it on for short periods of time say 5-10 min at a time, if she's trying to chew it a little bitter apple spray will help stop that

[ShoresDog]

There are loads of dog books out there. One I think is very useful for teaching puppies and understanding their little puppy brains is Ian Dunbar's Doctor Dunbar's Good Little Dog Book. Here's a link to it on Amazon, though your local bookstore or petstore may have it on hand:

 

Doctor Dunbar's Good Little Dog Book

 

Little Cali will grow up so quickly! Give her lots of structure and guidance as well as love so you all can enjoy her puppyhood. Very best wishes!