Guest WoobiesMom Posted September 12, 2007 Report Share Posted September 12, 2007 Things didn't go so good at the meeting w/Sierra, the deaf Aussie I was considering adopting. She is such a sweetheart too. But, she has the iris issues common to double merles and there's some indication that she's losing her vision. She's showing some fear aggression in dim light and has growled at handlers and guards she has a good relationship with but couldn't seem to see in the low light. She's also shown some increasing fearfulness with familiar males in regular light and growled at her own handler when she awoke in the dark and his hand was hanging over the bed. I was initially going to pay to have an veterinary opthamalogist evaluate her vision, but once I spent some time thinking it over, I realized that regardless of what he says, the fear/aggression would be an issue that I'm not prepared to tackle. Especially if I had to deal with it with a blind and deaf dog. I feel like I have to honor the committment I made to Woobie when I got him to do everything I can to get him less fearful and I think introducing another dog with similar issues and introducing an aggression element (which Woobie has none whatsoever) might be a recipe for disaster. At a minimum, I think it would be too much for me to effectively manage with the time I have available. I feel selfish that I realized I want a dog with a rock solid disposition to help pull mine along. I also want another sport dog. I was willing to deal with deafness and the additional training that would entail if the right temperment was there, but factoring in another fearful dog and possible blindness makes it just too much for me to contemplate handling. Maybe if she was to be our only dog and I wasn't necessarily interested in sport, things might be different. Spent most of the ride home crying and I feel terrible that I'm not one of those "we'll face anything that comes along" types who could just scoop her up and make it work. She was awfully sweet and interested in Woobie, but he didn't seem to click with her and my DD and I just didn't feel that spark either. I hope she finds her place....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSnappy Posted September 12, 2007 Report Share Posted September 12, 2007 Don't be sad. Not all dogs are right for all situations. Someone will be right for this dog. A lot of the deaf/blind dogs have a propensity for aggression because they can't hear or see anything coming. Not ALL of them, of course, but enough of them that I think they are best left to rescues who specialize in these cases to place. If you want a solid tempered dog with sport potential, what you clearly need is TDBCR Beau. RDM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest WoobiesMom Posted September 12, 2007 Report Share Posted September 12, 2007 Now how am I supposed to do a meet and greet all the way over there in Canada????? I think I want to stick with a female so I don't get into any of those same gender issues. I want to try to create the best situation for success for Woobie's sake. But if you hear of a rock-solid female just a *little* closer to us, let me know! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSnappy Posted September 12, 2007 Report Share Posted September 12, 2007 Female, schmemale. Why do you think I've just got the one? The rest are boys because boys rule! Evil witchy females. hee hee RDM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LJS1993 Posted September 12, 2007 Report Share Posted September 12, 2007 Don't feel bad at all. If a dog isn't the right fit for you then it will become the right fit for someone else. Yes we want to be heroes and save all the dogs we come across who catch our hearts. However the fact is we have lives and many times the issues that accompany those dogs do not fit into our lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoloRiver Posted September 12, 2007 Report Share Posted September 12, 2007 Don't feel bad. When I went looking for a second dog I had a list of requirements a mile long that basically added up to "Perfect Dog" because (1) I owed it to Solo to not introduce another dog that was going to cause problems and (2) she'd be as much for Solo as for me. And I got Fly, who is perfect, and I don't feel bad about it. When I did add another project dog -- that was Skeeter, my ex-Papillon -- it ultimately did not work out. It was not an untenable situation, and could have been managed indefinitely, but with the interpersonal conflict going on between my dogs and the appearance of a much better home for Skeeter it became clear that it would be better for everyone if Skeeter moved out. So now Skeeter is in a home more suitable to him, and the Border Collies are much happier, and it all turned out well in the end but it probably would have been better if I'd never adopted Skeeter in the first place. I'm looking for a puppy now, which of course entails risks, but it's impossible to predict in this kind of situation whether or not all the dogs will get along as adults, and I can stack the odds in my favor by choosing a puppy from parents that have the sort of dispositions that'll fit in here. In Skeeter's case, I brought in a dog that I knew would cause problems so in retrospect the outcome is not surprising. You're better off looking for Miss Perfect, like I did with Fly. Don't feel bad about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PSmitty Posted September 12, 2007 Report Share Posted September 12, 2007 Regarding getting a female, FWIW, I had no problems adding a second male to my dog family, even with the first having fear aggression issues. A solid temperament and the right personality with the second male, made it a perfect fit. I'm sorry it didn't work out. It's great that you tried, though, and were realistic about what you're willing to commit to, and need, in a second dog. You'll find the right dog out there, I'm sure. RDM, Beau has beautiful eyes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bexie Posted September 12, 2007 Report Share Posted September 12, 2007 I'm sorry it didn't work out, but it sounds like you made the right choice leaving her. She'll find her right home. It just wasn't with you and Woobie. You gave it a chance and made an informed decision. There is nothing to feel bad about. Just wish her the best and keep looking. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrisK Posted September 12, 2007 Report Share Posted September 12, 2007 Ditto to all of the above. I know how hard it is when you basically have your heart set on 'something' and then it really isn't what you expected. You're absolutely right to think of Woobie's needs first. After all, you did make a committment to him. I'm sure you will find the right dog for you and Woobie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juliepoudrier Posted September 12, 2007 Report Share Posted September 12, 2007 I have no problems with any of the males in my household getting along, but the bitches, oh my! that's another thing altogether! (I have three males, one intact, two not; and six females, half intact, half not). FWIW, spayed or not seems to make no difference in the bitchiness factor. My males just stay out of the way.) Don't feel bad. Sometimes you just don't click with a rescue dog and it does neither you nor the dog any good to try and make it work if something's just not there. J. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LJS1993 Posted September 12, 2007 Report Share Posted September 12, 2007 I have no problems with any of the males in my household getting along, but the bitches, oh my! that's another thing altogether! (I have three males, one intact, two not; and six females, half intact, half not). FWIW, spayed or not seems to make no difference in the bitchiness factor. My males just stay out of the way.) Don't feel bad. Sometimes you just don't click with a rescue dog and it does neither you nor the dog any good to try and make it work if something's just not there. J. Julie your experiences mirror the advice many other people have given me. Before my and my DF tried to add another female to the pack, people would warn us, including some on this board, about two females in a small pack. Needless to say it would never have worked out. Turns out we have found the perfect addition with Tucker, our little male BC pup. Freckles loves him to death. She treats him like a little brother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olivia Posted September 12, 2007 Report Share Posted September 12, 2007 Don't be too discouraged. I'll tell you the same thing I told a friend of mine that was looking for a third dog to add to a home with two very dominant dogs, one male and one female, already in residence. She spent weeks agonizing over the breed to get. I told her to forget breed, sex, color or anything else; get the dog for you, even if it isn't the perfect lab/golden/border collie/or whatever else she had her heart set on. Once she started looking for the individual and forgot about the stereotypes that go with breeds and sexes she ended up finding the perfect little man in a one year old Belgian Malinios. Sierra's perfect home is out there, it just hasn't found her yet. Olivia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OurBoys Posted September 12, 2007 Report Share Posted September 12, 2007 I'm sorry it didn't work out for you guys. You made a wise decision and RDM is right. Not all dogs are right for all situations. She's also right about male dogs. When we adopted Jake, JJ seemed to suddenly 'mature'. He had a new job. JJ felt it was his responsibility to 'train' Jake to become a member of the family. He would take it personally if we corrected Jake for anything by getting in our face. It was like he was apologizing (I'm sorry. Please don't fuss at him. He didn't mean to do it.) And Jake is the typical little brother. Sometimes when we ask Jake to do something, he'll look at JJ as if to ask if it's alright for him to do it. They have so much respect for each other it's heartwarming. Please don't eliminate a dog because of their sex. You might be pleasantly surprised. BTW, RDM, I couldn't help but smile when I read Beau's bio. He looks and sounds like JJ and Jake all rolled up into one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheRuffMuttGang Posted September 12, 2007 Report Share Posted September 12, 2007 Oh I'd have multiple boys in a heartbeat over multiple girls. I promised myself no more girls and then Stella came along. I wish she was a boy but she's pretty cool anyway. Gonna be a bossy little thing, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mojo Posted September 12, 2007 Report Share Posted September 12, 2007 You should commend yourself for being honest about what you can handle. Just because most of us aren't superheroes doesn't mean that we're lesser human beings, and you shouldn't feel bad about that! Being strong in the face of unexpected adversity is one thing, but willingly taking on more adversity in your life than will make you comfortable is another. The reason why so many dogs end up in shelters/rescues is because many people overestimate (or, rather, don't even bother to consider) what they can handle in their lives, and then throw the towel in when the going gets to be too tough, inconvenient, or annoying. Even if you had gone ahead and adopted Sierra because you wanted to be a superhero for her, and you dedicated yourself to her for her entire life, in the process, you would suffer, Woobie would suffer, and your family would suffer--and not only is that not fair to any of you, but if Sierra could voice her opinion, I'm sure that she would not want her adoptive family to be miserable on her account. You made the most responsible decision possible by carefully evaluating your situation and putting your current commitments above any future ones, and one cannot ask for more than that. She is safe where she is now, and if it is meant to be, the right forever home will come along for her, just as the right second dog will come along for you--I strongly believe that. Keep trusting your instincts!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lenajo Posted September 12, 2007 Report Share Posted September 12, 2007 You may be too far from Canada...but you aren't too far from those of us in the South and East. I've got a lovely sports potential female rescue here with a super happy, resiliant temperament....just waiting for a visit from folks with the right stuff Hint hint.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrisK Posted September 12, 2007 Report Share Posted September 12, 2007 Well....I don't think ONTARIO is too far away Check out Patch http://www.bordercollierescueont.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest WoobiesMom Posted September 12, 2007 Report Share Posted September 12, 2007 Thanks so much everyone! I guess there was a bit of wanting to be a superhero going on. I did have delusions of being that lady with the supercool deaf dog. But, you're all right, it's important that just the right people find Sierra and we're just not them. I won't overlook males but could use some advice for making a good connection. I've just always heard that opposite genders work out best. I know I want an adult, because I really do want Woobie to find a leader who is really calm and unafraid with strangers. Woobie seems to really draw confidence from watching other dogs' reactions. And sport potential would be cool as well because I'm really enjoying that prospect also. Lenajo.... got pics??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSnappy Posted September 12, 2007 Report Share Posted September 12, 2007 re: genders. Red Dog and Tweed were the best of friends until Piper came along. And Piper terrifies the bejeesus out of everyone in the house ... except Woo. Woo is not afraid. Piper definitely did something to the dynamic, because she is really hot tempered and no boy will fight back. She's beat on Tweed more than once and even taken on the Red Dog a couple of rare times. She climbed the social ladder really fast, and no one wants to cross her now. This made Tweed all insecure because it put him back down on the bottom of a PACK instead of just looking up to his idol RD. So he started giving the gears to RD. When Woo came along, it relieved the pressure between RD and Tweed, but unfortunately for Woo, he gets the brunt of it from them both. Nevertheless ... pre-Piper, Tweed and RD were the best of friends. If I gave RD a bowl of ice cream he ate half and left the other half for Tweed ... I'm not kidding. They got along so well. Piper ruined it, the evil wench. I rue the day I got a girl dog!! Of course, my next one is going to be a girl too (Just keep in mind, there is no serious fighting in my house - when I talk about beat downs and such, it's really mild stuff. If there were serious fights going on in my home, something would have to change. I won't put my dogs at risk). RDM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
painted_ponies Posted September 12, 2007 Report Share Posted September 12, 2007 I have three girls at my house, BCs Faith and Violet and Abbie feist, and they get along beautifully. I have yet to hear a shot fired in anger. This may be because they're all scared of my one and only boy, Arlo the Lhasa Apso, all fifteen fearsome pounds of him. Obviously what we need around my house is . . .Beau. What a honey! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bc4pack Posted September 12, 2007 Report Share Posted September 12, 2007 You KNOW deep down that taking on another 'special needs' dog may not have reeeally been in Woobie's best interest, right? And everyone in rescue, at least that I know, will tell you that the match needs to be right. How much harder would it be to find out 6-8 mos down the road that things just aren't working out..... In my house... bitches rule... Mama Molly( who doesn't have to show anyone whose Boss Bitch), then daughter Nell ,who LOVES lording it over her 2 littermate brothers....nicknamed 'the little hussy'... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweet_ceana Posted September 12, 2007 Report Share Posted September 12, 2007 RDM you make we want to drive to Canada when we are ready for an addition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSnappy Posted September 12, 2007 Report Share Posted September 12, 2007 RDM you make we want to drive to Canada when we are ready for an addition. Okay!! We like visitors RDM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AKB Posted September 13, 2007 Report Share Posted September 13, 2007 I'm sorry it didn't work out for you guys, but good for you for being honest with yourself about Woobie's needs. He has a great mom and you'll find another perfect dog to be a great mom to soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WyoBC Posted September 13, 2007 Report Share Posted September 13, 2007 I'm sorry it didn't work out. I bet she was sweet, and I bet she'll find a really good home too that was meant for her. They do have a way of finding you though. You never know when one will pop up when your not even looking that fits in perfect with Woobie. Just give it time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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