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WAY O/T a confession, cry for help...


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Ok I have just been doing some reading on the internet and it has spurned me onto to do this. I need to find support somewhere but cant with my real life friends as its too embarrasing and maybe someone here knows something.

 

I have stated on occassion that I have allopecia... its true I am bald (near enough) on one top side of my scalp and have no eyelashes (I dont look as freaky as it sounds, promise) and it is caused (most likely) by stress. However I do not have allopecia. *Big gulp* I have a condition called trichotillomania, I didnt know it had a name until recently and its rattled me a bit. I've suffered with it since I was nine.

 

I apologise to all of you for lying and was wondering if anyone had any experience with this as I sure could use a friendly ear/ some understanding. Ok I dont know what I need I just know I needed to tell someone.

I feel better for just writing this.... thank you for reading though

 

Please dont think I'm a freak, I'm not I promise, oh I dont know if I should post this, I've only ever told one person (my hubby) and this is a huge step!

I'm sorry its so off topic but i just needed to say all this.

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Oh honey, we're here for you. It's ok if you called it Allopecia. We don't mind!

 

And you're not a freak! You're one of the nicest people here I know! :rolleyes:

 

~Hugs!~

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You might try the book Stop Your Nailbiting! Permanently - by Gilbreth Brown

 

I tried to find his web site but can't for the life of me remember what combination of the words it is. Supposedly this method works for nailbiting, cheekbiting, hair pulling, the whole gamut of funny habits people have but don't want to admit to. I read it (for nailbiting ) and it seemed useful but I am a big wuss and won't do the rubber band around the wrist thing. I recommend you try to find it at your library as it was a bit pricey just for basically telling someone to snap a rubber band and then imagine an alarming sound when they notice themselves doing their habit.

 

Allie + Tess & Kipp

http://weebordercollie.com

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Don't feel like a freak. It is a form of obsessive compulsive disorder. We all have some kind of obsession so don't worry about it.

 

I actually know someone with it and hers is under control but she got help from the doctors and is on meds.

 

At least you don't have a mutilating obsession. You could be one of the folks that hurt themselves and such.

 

Hair pulling is nothing... they make wigs so you can at least hide behind that for awhile...

 

Good luck

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At least you don't have a mutilating obsession. You could be one of the folks that hurt themselves and such
Dont be so sure when I was a teenager and the depression was really bad... well I'll say no more. I'm just screwed up!

 

Thank you all for your support. I feel a load better. I have read a few books (about trich specifically) and nothing has worked. Medication wise they treat it with antidepressants.. which make me really really dpressed!!! And I cant afford OCD therapy... so I'm stuck with it.

But thanks again, you guys truly are the nicest people i know!!!

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Thank you all for your support. I feel a load better. I have read a few books (about trich specifically) and nothing has worked. Medication wise they treat it with antidepressants.. which make me really really dpressed!!! And I cant afford OCD therapy... so I'm stuck with it.

But thanks again, you guys truly are the nicest people i know!!!

By not keeping the problem a secret, you have taken away much of its power over you! There are many different approaches to treatment and many different antidepressants out there, so hang in there and don't give up! This isn't an area I'm expert on, but I know it can be treated. The trick is finding what works for each individual. Sometimes it is a combination of meds and therapy. Be perstistant and try to find a doctor/therapist you can partner with for your treatment.

 

Have you looked it up on the web? There are a lot of sites, including this one: http://www.trich.org/about_ttm/intro.asp

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Oh Claire...no need to feel bad about 'hiding' something. I would suspect that most of us have secrets we don't really want to share, myself included. I am fortunate that I have good friends who do know those secrets and have helped me through. Secrets come in all forms, some medical, like yours, some spiritual and some things you really would like to do over again. The important thing is to find the right way to deal with it and you've made a giant step!

Liz made an excellent point....confronting the problem, and not keeping it secret has obviously been a help.

If you should ever feel the need to 'get it off your chest'...don't hesitate to send me a PM. I'll be there to listen. I can't say I'll have any answers...but my 'ear' (or would that be my eye??) is always available.

Take care.

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Hi Claire,

My name is Caroline and I have had Trich since I was about 10. It started when my father died. If you want to email me about it we can chat. I am 46 now and it comes and goes. It is a part of me. I would enjoy talking to you about it. I have had psychiatric care for it (and other things) and tried meds and behaivor modification. I tried hypnotism also. Please pm or email me.

I can't remember if my email is on my profile, if not pm me and we can start talking. You are brave to write about it.

Caroline

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Oh guys, thank you. I thought this might help, the first step is admitting the problem blah blah blah...

After reading the books, I've pinpointed it starting with me to when my brother was born (loss of parental attention), how bad does that make me sound? Oh well me and brother never got on.

I'm going to make a doc apt and ask him about it, I havent asked the RAF doctors before so they may have a different approach to my last civvie doctor. I just needed to get it off my chest, I was feeling very down last night and hubby was at work and well you know the rest.

 

And yes Moss, that could well be why I get on with Bailey so well

 

Thank you all again

Claire

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Claire, I just wanted to say that I think it is great that you could talk about it.I hope things get easier from hereon in. I also think that it is not what you look like that matters but who you "are" that counts - ( unless, that is, you bear any resemblance to a barbie doll :rolleyes: Tee hee ! )

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I wish you loads of luck with finding a way to end this.

After finishing school I didn't know what to do, and my teachers had left me terrified of what they called our future, so I scratched big patches of skin off myself, including the face, neck and arms - that didn't look pretty either.

It stopped after I decided to study geology, and hasn't come back since. Now I just stuff myself with food when I'm worried :rolleyes: .

 

I think you said your depression got better after finding Bailey, so this might slowly get better as well, or at least he'll help you with whatever you decide to do against it. Good luck!

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claire, i dont know if you would be interested in trying it, but i have recently started treatment with the homeopath who has been treating tikki.

my main problem i asked her to help me with was the depression and tendencies towards ocd. now i'm not better yet by a long way, but i am feeling soooooo much better already.

if you would be interested, please pm me and i will give you her details.

and it IS true that asking for help is the first big step, and i bet you feel alot better already! the instant you ask for help, you begin to take back control.

i'm here if ever you want to chat honey!

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All right I'm going to go out on a limb here and tell you what I have found to be a miracle remedy/cure for me. Plain old magnesium. Yes something as simple as a mineral. Without going into all the gory details, I've suffered from depression and anxiety as well. The last couple of years, if anything would stress me out, holidays etc...I would get violently ill. At one point I even got a helicopter ride to the hospital, they thought I was having a stroke (I was 40 at the time) long story short, all they could find wrong with me was low calcium and potassium. Fast forward to this past March, my dog Bob got cancer, I was a basket case, totally unable to handle it, ended up back on Zoloft and Xanax. One night as I was on the floor :D about to start my puke fest again, my husband came in and gave me a magnesium and potassium pill (up until that time I'd just been taking them like asperine, when I felt something coming on. Well as soon as I took the minerals, I no longer felt sick, and it knocked me right out. Sorry this is so long, but I want to make clear how bad a shape I was in. I've been taking the magnesium everyday, before I go to bed,and sometimes in the morning if I'm stressed, for the last 2 months. I have no anxiety, no depression (and believe me I'm looking for it) I'm on no other meds. It is truly amazing. If you do a google on magnesium you will find a ton of info. but in a nutshell, most people are deficient in this essential mineral. Stress causes it to be delpleted, as does alcohol, if you're a woman you lose it through your monthly cycle. Low magnesum can cause muscle twitching (restless leg syndrome) headaches, heart palpatations. Interestingly enough low magnesium will also trigger the production of adrenalin, and if you know anything about anxiety attacks, you're familiar with the part that adrenalin has on it. Bottom line I swear by it, and only wish my doctor had told me about it before, but I guess they prefer to sell you the $$$$$$ meds. than a $3 bottle of minerals that you can get at the grocery store :rolleyes: Oh I have to add it is the best sleep aid ever! 250 mg. before I go to bed, and in 10 min. I'm out like a light, I haven't slept this well, and alll through the night in years. Please give it a try, it can't hurt you and it sure has the possiblity to give you some relief. Good luck.

 

Betty

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Others have offered advice on how to address the condition; whereas I am not a physician, I will not try to supplement their counsel. But I do want to address your embarrassment. Given the separation due to "The Big Pond", I doubt that any of us have ever met you. So we are left to judge you based on your posts here; physical appearance is irrelevant. What I have seen in your posts is a warm, compassionate, articulate person who shares our love of dogs, and Border Collies in particular. So what else is there to know about you? The measure of a person is what is inside; as far as I am concerned, you need not be embarrassed. I have seen many people who have lost hair to chemotherapy; it may affect their external appearance, but it does not diminish the beauty in their hearts. And if the loss of hair bothers you, then consider a wig; you can even make a fashion statement.

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Wow what an ego boost this is, you guys best stop before my head expands to silly proportions but thank you for saying such nice things.

Thank you all for being so understanding. I think I'll give magnesium a try, thank you Betty, it cant do any harm.

Donna I would like her details please, although I probably wont get in touch with her for a while, want to try and find a good medication first.

And Sandra, Bailey has helped with the depression but doesnt seem to have helped the trich unfortuneately, may be I need two dogs :D .

 

Oh and Zoe, no I dont look like a barbie doll, hubby wont pay for all the implants

:rolleyes:

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From our research, it seems that trichsters procrastinate. They don't tidy up when they first hear about the relatives visiting ... they frantically begin cleaning an hour before the visitors are due. We leave studying to the last minute and find exams stressful. We blame ourselves for things which cannot possibly be our fault. We suppress our emotional pain and do not confide easily in others . On the whole, we find it difficult to get close to people, thinking people will discover what we're really like and hate us like so many of us hate ourselves. We are sensitive and understanding, great at giving advice and lousy at taking it. We don't grieve easily and find it difficult to get in total touch with our pain at times of bereavement and loss. Most of us were invalidated as children and now seek validation of our own thoughts and feelings from others. We invalidate our own decisions and think we can't cope even when we can. Some of us have poor self-discipline and over 50% of us have an eating disorder. We may have poor short term memory. We're good people with apparently positive outlooks, but inside we're often very depressed. Others think we cope admirably but inside we're terrified.

 

Ok I know you probably didnt want to know this much but I just found this 'research'. It sums me up to a tee (apart from the eating disorder), The line I've put in bold is exactly the reson why you all will never know just how grateful I am for you understanding and support. I honestly cant thank you enough.

 

Claire

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Have your thyroid function (TSH) checked. You'd be amazed at what the little thyroid gland controls. Here's a really short list:

http://keyword.netscape.com/ns/boomframe.jsp?query=google&page=1&offset=0&result_url=redir%3Fsrc%3Dwebsearch%26requestId%3D7ba6b964ebb5dfeb%26clickedItemRank%3D1%26userQuery%3Dgoog le%26clickedItemURN%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.google.com%252F%26invocationType%3D-%26fromPage%3DnsBrowserRoll%26amp%3BampTest%3D1&remove_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F://http://keyword.netscape.com/ns/boom...w.google.com%2F

A web search can give you more. The stuff is true because the thyroid is what regulates about everything about your body. It's what's in charge. So if it's on strike, everything goes you know where in a handbasket.

 

And don't let anyone tell you that a TSH of up to 6 is "just fine". An Australian study found that people who really were normal had way lower TSH and those with TSH over ~3 rarely really were normal. But doctors ignore the depression, high cholesterol, irregular periods, dry skin, hair falling out, brittle fingernails....or treat each separately with dangerous and expensive meds. Naturally, most with hypothyroidism are female. Therefore, to doctors, chronic complainers.

 

I was even hospitalized for depression in the "80s. Put on meds that had me loopy - and gaining weight. Did no good but they told me that was because I wasn't trying. I even had a psycologist tell me that I had too many problems - so it was obvious that I was making them all up. Attempts at suicide didn't count because I'm female - so it was just "for show".

 

I'm not into pills. By the thyroid pills are so old-tech that there isn't even a generic version. I pay ~$14 for 3 months. Even without insurance it would be under $30. There are no bad side effects, and the signal of overdose is elevated heart rate, which is easy to spot - then you just take less.

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That url above is bad. It takes you to a google screen via netscape!?

 

I have a multi-nodular ha ha asymptomatic thyroid with a slightly depressed function. Basically its autoimmune and my lymp material is trying to conquer my thryoid tissue. How's that for self love.

 

I thought I was just a depressive personality until we started managing my thyroid levels. Low and behold.. the fatigue is only a little less and weird hormone interactions are still there but somehow I'm feeling a lot more like Julie Andrews on the top of the Alps.

 

Its worth a try to check this. Thyroid dysfunction is pandemic, targeted mostly to females, misunderstood and often overlooked with superficial screening or palliative treatment.

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Originally posted by BustopherJones:

...we are left to judge you based on your posts here; physical appearance is irrelevant. What I have seen in your posts is a warm, compassionate, articulate person who shares our love of dogs, and Border Collies in particular. So what else is there to know about you? The measure of a person is what is inside; as far as I am concerned, you need not be embarrassed. I have seen many people who have lost hair to chemotherapy; it may affect their external appearance, but it does not diminish the beauty in their hearts. And if the loss of hair bothers you, then consider a wig; you can even make a fashion statement.

Wow... +1
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I know that post touched me greatly! But the general reaction I've gotten is very touching in general. Thank you.

Thank you Katendarby, I have read that website and lots of others, I have a ton of info but no support, hubby knows but never talks about it so its been too easy for me to slip back into denial which is why I needed to tell someone else. I really appreciate your support.

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Obviously many of us here on these forums deal with issues of one kind or another! I have a few little ticks I just don't tell people about, too. Doctor once told me I have "obsessive compulsive tendencies" - which leads to some really weird habits. Like when I go to bed I obsessively fix the blankets until it's all even and folded over correctly and tucked in at the feet. I litterally CAN NOT SLEEP until it's tucked in right. Drives hubby crazy - thank goodness he's a deep sleeper.

 

I know what you mean about appearances though. I get zits and I'm one of those obsessive zit-poppers. bad habit, bad bad habit. So I tend to have red blotches on my skin from irritation. *sigh*

 

Long post just to say - I understand.

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