freaking out louder

[Bula's Lady]

so yesterday coming home from work i took the dogs for a walk in one of our fields, to check the fences from very high winds! my bc bula was way in front like normal and beamer was way behind. she eventually caught up to walk the fence with me but i could tell she was really tired and having an "off" day.

 

right before dinner i looked over at her and she had snarled her face, her teeth were clenched, and her head was bobbing. she was in a sitting position. i knew something was wrong...at first we thought she might be choking but no sounds were coming from her mouth or throat. i tried to pry her jaws apart but they were clenched tight! i could tell that her eyes were not focused on me at all. i just sat and soothed her until the episode was over. so then we were thinking seizure or stroke. i called the vet and she said it sounded like a localized seizure. so to me this means her cancer has spread up into her brain.

 

after the episode she drank some water and then ate some food. she went out to pee, and went to bed. she has been quiet today but aware and still going in the car for rides.

 

i am at the struggling point as what the plan of action should be. she has a "good" day, running around, fluid movement, interested in doggy stuff, then she has "bad" days, very sleepy, just lazing around. the left side of her face, the side the cancer is on, is sensitive and she guards it to not be touched.

 

deep down i was hoping, still hoping that she will pass away in the night. i tould her its ok too...the pts option is getting closer, too close for my liking. but i still haven't come to the point of no return. i just don't want her to be in pain, and i don't want to mask her pain. thankfully, no straight bleeding from the nose anymore "knock on wood" but there is mucus coming out.

 

i just wanted to share all this with such a caring community. i know no one can solve this, but many have been through it. this part of being involved with a great animal sucks!!

 

-bula's lady

-please don't mind all the grammer and spelling errors. my mind is so fried right now from this and other events going on.

[tumblehome]

When the bad days outweigh the good, then it's time. And you'll know, deep down inside you'll know, even if you don't want to admit it out loud. Until then, let her guide you.

 

I had to euthanize my 10 year old golden last month. He had one seizure, then nothing for two weeks, then another, then two more that night, then nothing for two days, then an endless succession of them, ravaging him every half hour until we could get him to the vet. Fortunately for me the choice was obvious; relief was the only solution.

 

But prior to that final night, he was doing okay. He was eating, visiting, wagging his tail, snoffing the weeds along the fenceline--still very much alive. That's what tell us, I think. When living is harder than not living, your sweet girl will tell you.

 

I'm so very sorry.

Chris O

[Maralynn]

I really don't have anything to add, but I'm so sorry you are going through this right now.

 

My thoughts and prayers are with you

[ShoresDog]

I'm so sorry for poor Bula and what you all are going through now. I also don't have any advice to add to Tumblehome's excellent comments, just my sympathy.

[Allie Oop]

I'm so sorry about poor Beamer. My dear 14 yr. old GSD/Rough Collie suffered seizures for 3 years before he finally left us due to cancer. We believe that he probably had the cancer somewhere else in his body, which spread to the brain, and then ultimately to the lungs. We were able to treat the seizure condition quite well with meds, but once it hit his lungs his condition deteriorated rapidly and it was only a matter of a month or so before we had to make the decision to end his suffering.

 

I know how horrible and unfair this kind of situation seems. I too, hoped my Kamp would pass away gently on his own, but there came a time when we knew we had to help him. I think you will know when the time arises. As painful and sad as it was, I know that we did the right thing, although we agonized about it at the time. It's been 18 mos. now since he left us and I was able to post his picture and a few words about how much we loved him in the "In Memorium" section on the Board here and I planted a lovely bush in my backyard in his honor, because it does help to be able to share how much you cared with others. I still love him and miss him, but know he had a wonderful life.

 

I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that nobody can really help you decide when is the right time, except for you and your vet. Tumblehome's comments were very well expressed - Beamer will help to let you know.

 

Regards,

 

ETA - Sorry about the wrong name. Best wishes.

[Bula's Lady]

actually its my dog beamer...bula is a healthy, happy, puppy who makes me smile when i get said about my other dog! we took beamer to the vet today and got her some pain meds and anti-inflammatory to help her with her nose. the vet said that they will give the first seizure as a "freebie" and not to worry too much about it.

 

she said that the next bad sign is if she stops eating. so we will go from there. hopefully these meds will make her more comfortable. thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers.

[Guest Rockie's mum]

You're in my prayers, there but for the grace of god..